(no subject)
I'm finally moving to Portland. A long delayed trip wrought with side stops for family and financial inability, but it's here. As excited as I am I have to admit I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. The city itself is not much different from the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex, consisting of several different sections and smaller "inner cities" but it's a whole other world to me. The fear of "what if" is filling me constantly. What if I can't afford living? What if I can't find a job? Two friends have already bombed out of Portland and wound up right back in Spokane, Sammi's even back at the same apartment (which actually kinda interesting) hopefully stepping out of the old routine we all had. I'm not bashing on the wonderful memories we all had but that warm cramped little apartment where we all shared in our woes and victories were wonderful, but we had a goal. All of us were gonna go on to Portland and move forward with our lives. Seeing that plan altered outside the bounds of our control isn't really frightening because practicality leads one to reason that we probably weren't gonna have our way anyways, but that dream was nice. It's down to three of us now and I'm hoping it has some sort of success there.
A good friend of mine just learned he has a two year old daughter whom also lives in Portland, which has definately got to have him turned on his ear. I've considered having found out I may have some unknown child out there, I mean I'm not the picture of prudence and have had a good share of run in's that didn't leave either party's looking even vaguely concerned with the possible outcome, but for it to be a reality...to have created life and be totally unaware of it. It's exciting and frightening at the same time. No preparation given, or mental acceptance alloted with time. It's almost like a car crash, such a dramatic change in the motions and decisions of ones life for something that at best lasted an evening. I don't mean to be so dramatic and I definately do not really see this affecting the interactions between the opposite sex but at least I can say that I thought about it lol.
I've been watching my sister's son lately, and he's not so much a bother. He has a great sense of humor for a 7 month old and really enjoys his music. It's so fun to witness the firsts too. When the wind blows in his face he has to catch his breathe and has the biggest smile on his face. The greatest part I must admit though, is giving the baby back.
Well so much for the baby talk and what not, I can't wait to get to the new apartment and finally settled in for however long it lasts.
A good friend of mine just learned he has a two year old daughter whom also lives in Portland, which has definately got to have him turned on his ear. I've considered having found out I may have some unknown child out there, I mean I'm not the picture of prudence and have had a good share of run in's that didn't leave either party's looking even vaguely concerned with the possible outcome, but for it to be a reality...to have created life and be totally unaware of it. It's exciting and frightening at the same time. No preparation given, or mental acceptance alloted with time. It's almost like a car crash, such a dramatic change in the motions and decisions of ones life for something that at best lasted an evening. I don't mean to be so dramatic and I definately do not really see this affecting the interactions between the opposite sex but at least I can say that I thought about it lol.
I've been watching my sister's son lately, and he's not so much a bother. He has a great sense of humor for a 7 month old and really enjoys his music. It's so fun to witness the firsts too. When the wind blows in his face he has to catch his breathe and has the biggest smile on his face. The greatest part I must admit though, is giving the baby back.
Well so much for the baby talk and what not, I can't wait to get to the new apartment and finally settled in for however long it lasts.