Leave My Door Open Just A Crack...
It's almost 4 am when I awake. You are breathing heavily, curled up away from me, almost pressed against the wall. I watch you sleep for a moment, my head propped up on my fist. I reach out with my other hand and lightly touch your shoulder. Cool to the touch. Cool, like the bluish-purple tint that your hair is. You always dream in blues. I feel restless, fiery, all reds and oranges as I stand to stretch my legs.
You stir softly as my weight is lifted from the bed, causing the springs to groan. I glance back at you as I start to wander toward the door. Throw on shorts, slip on my flip-flops, quietly shut the door behind me. I step over the mess in the living room, make my way toward the front door, fumble with the lock.
Finally I am outside, walking softly down the concrete steps toward the parking lot. I am wishing for some form of relief on this burning night, the desert heat rising from the asphalt with voracious intensity. Even the breeze brings no sign of peace, Nature's breath hot on my skin, causing my undershirt to cling to my shoulders. Past the rounded lights guiding the path toward the car, past the gentle rushing of the swimming pool, silent now, finally, as the children slumber. I slip past the guard leaning against this truck, dabbing the sweat from his brow with a hankerchief.
I have no destination. No idea where I'm going. I want to clear my head but the fire consumes me, the heat causes my thoughts to melt into one another until I am a ball of energy, stressed and sweating. I am convinced my eyes are orange now, the flames encompassing my being, raising me up into the night, leaving this heavy body and it's heavy burdens behind.
Like the Phoenix I reside in I rise, sparks creating the stars in the sky where there were none from the lack of clear skies, the heat pushing me upwards, the warm breath of the breeze on my neck nudging me further. I stretch my arms out to the night, head back, allow myself to be carried up, over the pool, over the guard, over the room inhabited by her cool blue, into the night where the bars, gates and limitations no longer apply.
I open my eyes, find myself on the ground, itching to be out of my own skin, the full moon taunting me. I flash back to Basel, to the cool mountain air surrounding the beautiful Swiss town, to my home, to my heritage. 'I can never escape my blood,' I think as I howl at the moon with full force, the subtle changes in my body going unnoticed by everyone but me.
The fire in my eyes causes my eyes to glow as I restlessly wander the apartment complex parking lot, teeth sharper, skin more sensitive, hearing sharpened. I make my familiar rounds, the moon making a wolf of me, the curse in my blood stream, the knowledge of generations of my family always coming back to haunt me on these rare nights.
You stir softly as my weight is lifted from the bed, causing the springs to groan. I glance back at you as I start to wander toward the door. Throw on shorts, slip on my flip-flops, quietly shut the door behind me. I step over the mess in the living room, make my way toward the front door, fumble with the lock.
Finally I am outside, walking softly down the concrete steps toward the parking lot. I am wishing for some form of relief on this burning night, the desert heat rising from the asphalt with voracious intensity. Even the breeze brings no sign of peace, Nature's breath hot on my skin, causing my undershirt to cling to my shoulders. Past the rounded lights guiding the path toward the car, past the gentle rushing of the swimming pool, silent now, finally, as the children slumber. I slip past the guard leaning against this truck, dabbing the sweat from his brow with a hankerchief.
I have no destination. No idea where I'm going. I want to clear my head but the fire consumes me, the heat causes my thoughts to melt into one another until I am a ball of energy, stressed and sweating. I am convinced my eyes are orange now, the flames encompassing my being, raising me up into the night, leaving this heavy body and it's heavy burdens behind.
Like the Phoenix I reside in I rise, sparks creating the stars in the sky where there were none from the lack of clear skies, the heat pushing me upwards, the warm breath of the breeze on my neck nudging me further. I stretch my arms out to the night, head back, allow myself to be carried up, over the pool, over the guard, over the room inhabited by her cool blue, into the night where the bars, gates and limitations no longer apply.
I open my eyes, find myself on the ground, itching to be out of my own skin, the full moon taunting me. I flash back to Basel, to the cool mountain air surrounding the beautiful Swiss town, to my home, to my heritage. 'I can never escape my blood,' I think as I howl at the moon with full force, the subtle changes in my body going unnoticed by everyone but me.
The fire in my eyes causes my eyes to glow as I restlessly wander the apartment complex parking lot, teeth sharper, skin more sensitive, hearing sharpened. I make my familiar rounds, the moon making a wolf of me, the curse in my blood stream, the knowledge of generations of my family always coming back to haunt me on these rare nights.