It was love at first sight.
I have the best english teacher to ever exist. His name is Zachary Locklin, and he happens to be incredible. Sure he makes us do more work than the average composition class, but there is no animosity because I get to witness his sheer brillance twice a week. Now I've decided to share a little bit of his brillance with the readers of livejournal. These are just a few of the many quotes that Zachary enlightens us with every class...
"My wife is like a dolphin in many ways. She's smart, fun, and a little bit squeaky. Wow... I can't believe I almost complimented my wife by comparing her to a marine mammal. Actually though... she's more of a narwhal. Narwhal? The majestic unicorns of the deep? Anyone? God, your generation is such a waste."
On the first day of class...
"These are the books that we will be using. They are equally pretentious, equally useless, and equally expensive. However, I like them. Why you ask? Because this one has sharp edges and the other was written by a very well diguised cocaine addict."
Talking about why divorce is easier on kids at a younger age:
"Yeah, its like when you're young you think to yourself... oh well I guess I just won't see Daddy as much. And lets face it, no one REALLY likes Daddy."
5 Minutes later... A student makes another point about divorce:
"And yet again... No one really likes Daddy."
"If you don't staple your papers, I might beat my wife. You want that on your hands? Didn't think so."
"Everyday that I endure gets progressively worse and worse. So everyday that you see me is, indeed, the worst day of my life."
...And I thought Harry Potter was the only man for me.
"My wife is like a dolphin in many ways. She's smart, fun, and a little bit squeaky. Wow... I can't believe I almost complimented my wife by comparing her to a marine mammal. Actually though... she's more of a narwhal. Narwhal? The majestic unicorns of the deep? Anyone? God, your generation is such a waste."
On the first day of class...
"These are the books that we will be using. They are equally pretentious, equally useless, and equally expensive. However, I like them. Why you ask? Because this one has sharp edges and the other was written by a very well diguised cocaine addict."
Talking about why divorce is easier on kids at a younger age:
"Yeah, its like when you're young you think to yourself... oh well I guess I just won't see Daddy as much. And lets face it, no one REALLY likes Daddy."
5 Minutes later... A student makes another point about divorce:
"And yet again... No one really likes Daddy."
"If you don't staple your papers, I might beat my wife. You want that on your hands? Didn't think so."
"Everyday that I endure gets progressively worse and worse. So everyday that you see me is, indeed, the worst day of my life."
...And I thought Harry Potter was the only man for me.