L.O.V.E.
DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING IS A PERSONAL STATEMENT ON LOVE. THIS ENTRY IS MY OPINION ON THE AFOREMENTIONED SUBJECT, AND IN NO WAY IMPLICATES ANYONE WHO MIGHT READ THIS. PLEASE READ AS IT IS MEANT, AS A PASSIONATE VIEW OF MINE, AND NOT IN ANY WAY AS A PERSONAL CONDEMNATION OF ANYONES' CONFLICTING VIEWS OR OPINIONS. Thank you.
I watched Hitch today. I'm not sure why, I should have been doing much more productive things.
Hitch is a cute movie to most... one of those movies you go to, you're entertained, and then you forget about it after the post-cinema drink and/or makeout session. But for me, Hitch struck a very sensitive nerve. See, I'm no expert on love by any means... I haven't been with that many women, and while I have been in love, and those times have been incredible, it's never quite worked out the way I had hoped in the end... but that's OK, cuz you keep dating right? You keep trying hard to find that love again, this time with someone that feels the same way for you, right????
Then why does it seem that, in general, the older I get, the more afraid women are of me? Why is it that the older I get, the more guarded women seem? Simple... like a callus on your feet, the heart becomes harder, tougher, more protective of itself every time it's hurt. It doesn't show the world who it really is anymore, it shows a guarded, insincere layer... a barrier of resistance rather than an understanding face.
When someone falls in love and gets hurt in the end, they instinctively develop a cautious eye, a suspiciousness that they didn't have before. They stop looking for that next great thing, and start looking for the next big jerk that will break their heart. In other words, when they meet someone they like, they don't really look at the person, they look at how the person is going to screw them over (forgive the term). Instead of looking at the potential places their heart may travel with this person, they look for any way to protect their heart by finding every flaw. (OK, deep breath, this is the big sentence...) After all, if they end a possible relationship before they get in too deep, and on top of that, if they can find a way to make it the other person's fault and say "all men are bastards" or "all women are bitches," they can save their heart all the agony of the now expected heartache their sure to receive later, and give a boost to their own self-righteous ego at the same time. More importantly, this trend is self-reinforcing, in that it perpetuates the mind's stereotype that there's nobody out there worth loving, worth trusting, so I won't even give him/her a chance.
((sigh)) OK. Stepping back for a moment. I'm not saying that we shouldn't all be smart and selective of who we date or love. There ARE a lot of bad people out there. There ARE a lot of people you can't trust. But trust your instincts. Look for sincerity, look for nobility, look for self confidence and not ego. These things are easy to spot if you open your eyes. But don't close your mind to the good in people. Don't let your fear of being hurt again cloud your good sense of judgment. Don't let the heartache you once knew, or still know, keep you from showing your heart to the world, and believing that there is someone out there that will love you sincerely. So trust your gut and open your heart to the people you believe are worth loving!
To me, you can't love without trusting in yourself, and trusting in the good of the world. Sure, you might get hurt. I've been hurt before, very badly. It wasn't anyone's fault, that's just how it goes sometimes. Sometimes people, no matter how much they care, just want different things. I know and accept that. But don't take that pain and throw it away, because there's a reason you feel it. You feel it because you truly loved all the moments you shared with that person with all of your heart, and you don't want those moments to ever end. So if you try forget the pain, you are in essence forgetting the reason why you feel it... all the amazing memories that electrified your heart.
In Hitch, Alex and Sarah have closed their hearts to the possibility of love after being hurt so many times.... until the end that is. But Albert deals with his heartache in a different way... the overweight nerdy klutz feels so strongly for the one he loves that he carries his pain with him so he never forgets the way he felt for her.
And that's just it. That's what I love about this movie.
Friends, family, people close to you say "you've gotta get over this," "he was a loser," "there's other fish in the sea,"... and these are true. You will get over it, maybe he was a loser, and there are other fish in the sea. But I believe the best thing to do is take a little piece of your heartache wherever you go. Don't let it define you, but let is become a small part of you. After all, it hurts so bad because for a while, it felt so good. You can almost never, ever, have one without the other. Don't throw away those feeling of love with those feelings of pain... you'll need to remember what love feels like, for the next time you feel it!
Tuck those good memories of the person you loved away my friend, but not too deep. You'll want to retrieve them from time to time. Maybe you'll shed a tear when you do. Maybe you'll full out cry. But be thankful that you had the opportunity to feel those feelings for someone. Be grateful that those memories that you so cherish are yours for life. Finally, know in your heart that love is always out there, looking for you... sometimes it's right in front of you. Sometimes it takes some searching, both in the world, and in yourself. But you'll find it again, you will, I promise.
Love is about taking risks. You can't truly feel love unless you accept that every time you do, you're putting your heart on the line. Just like you can't prepare for peace and war at the same time, you can't fall in love and prepare for the "inevitable" breakup simultaneously. You just have to jump, and pray for the best, and if you may fall, you'll learn to fly again. How do I know? You'll just have to trust me. Thanks for listening all, have a good night. ;-)
I watched Hitch today. I'm not sure why, I should have been doing much more productive things.
Hitch is a cute movie to most... one of those movies you go to, you're entertained, and then you forget about it after the post-cinema drink and/or makeout session. But for me, Hitch struck a very sensitive nerve. See, I'm no expert on love by any means... I haven't been with that many women, and while I have been in love, and those times have been incredible, it's never quite worked out the way I had hoped in the end... but that's OK, cuz you keep dating right? You keep trying hard to find that love again, this time with someone that feels the same way for you, right????
Then why does it seem that, in general, the older I get, the more afraid women are of me? Why is it that the older I get, the more guarded women seem? Simple... like a callus on your feet, the heart becomes harder, tougher, more protective of itself every time it's hurt. It doesn't show the world who it really is anymore, it shows a guarded, insincere layer... a barrier of resistance rather than an understanding face.
When someone falls in love and gets hurt in the end, they instinctively develop a cautious eye, a suspiciousness that they didn't have before. They stop looking for that next great thing, and start looking for the next big jerk that will break their heart. In other words, when they meet someone they like, they don't really look at the person, they look at how the person is going to screw them over (forgive the term). Instead of looking at the potential places their heart may travel with this person, they look for any way to protect their heart by finding every flaw. (OK, deep breath, this is the big sentence...) After all, if they end a possible relationship before they get in too deep, and on top of that, if they can find a way to make it the other person's fault and say "all men are bastards" or "all women are bitches," they can save their heart all the agony of the now expected heartache their sure to receive later, and give a boost to their own self-righteous ego at the same time. More importantly, this trend is self-reinforcing, in that it perpetuates the mind's stereotype that there's nobody out there worth loving, worth trusting, so I won't even give him/her a chance.
((sigh)) OK. Stepping back for a moment. I'm not saying that we shouldn't all be smart and selective of who we date or love. There ARE a lot of bad people out there. There ARE a lot of people you can't trust. But trust your instincts. Look for sincerity, look for nobility, look for self confidence and not ego. These things are easy to spot if you open your eyes. But don't close your mind to the good in people. Don't let your fear of being hurt again cloud your good sense of judgment. Don't let the heartache you once knew, or still know, keep you from showing your heart to the world, and believing that there is someone out there that will love you sincerely. So trust your gut and open your heart to the people you believe are worth loving!
To me, you can't love without trusting in yourself, and trusting in the good of the world. Sure, you might get hurt. I've been hurt before, very badly. It wasn't anyone's fault, that's just how it goes sometimes. Sometimes people, no matter how much they care, just want different things. I know and accept that. But don't take that pain and throw it away, because there's a reason you feel it. You feel it because you truly loved all the moments you shared with that person with all of your heart, and you don't want those moments to ever end. So if you try forget the pain, you are in essence forgetting the reason why you feel it... all the amazing memories that electrified your heart.
In Hitch, Alex and Sarah have closed their hearts to the possibility of love after being hurt so many times.... until the end that is. But Albert deals with his heartache in a different way... the overweight nerdy klutz feels so strongly for the one he loves that he carries his pain with him so he never forgets the way he felt for her.
And that's just it. That's what I love about this movie.
Friends, family, people close to you say "you've gotta get over this," "he was a loser," "there's other fish in the sea,"... and these are true. You will get over it, maybe he was a loser, and there are other fish in the sea. But I believe the best thing to do is take a little piece of your heartache wherever you go. Don't let it define you, but let is become a small part of you. After all, it hurts so bad because for a while, it felt so good. You can almost never, ever, have one without the other. Don't throw away those feeling of love with those feelings of pain... you'll need to remember what love feels like, for the next time you feel it!
Tuck those good memories of the person you loved away my friend, but not too deep. You'll want to retrieve them from time to time. Maybe you'll shed a tear when you do. Maybe you'll full out cry. But be thankful that you had the opportunity to feel those feelings for someone. Be grateful that those memories that you so cherish are yours for life. Finally, know in your heart that love is always out there, looking for you... sometimes it's right in front of you. Sometimes it takes some searching, both in the world, and in yourself. But you'll find it again, you will, I promise.
Love is about taking risks. You can't truly feel love unless you accept that every time you do, you're putting your heart on the line. Just like you can't prepare for peace and war at the same time, you can't fall in love and prepare for the "inevitable" breakup simultaneously. You just have to jump, and pray for the best, and if you may fall, you'll learn to fly again. How do I know? You'll just have to trust me. Thanks for listening all, have a good night. ;-)