(no subject)
So a lot is running through my mind. Just different things. Exams, summer, my car, Davey, Claire/Zak, and so on....
I just dont know where to begin. Whats really pissing me off is tomorrow. We've had this all planned since LAST WEEKEND, and no one knows reallly if they can still come or make it. I donno. It just upsets me, cuz I was real excited about it too. I'm thinking it's not going to happen. If it doesnt i dont know what I'll do. There isnt anything to do around here. I want my car back. I dont want to take my last 3 exams, spanish, algebra, and chem. Its all gonna be a over-whelming thing. ((I know this is jumping like crazy and if you cant follow it then forget it)) There is so much drama right now, its getting to me. Im being torn in half like always. Cuz Im the fucking nuetral one, I try to stay out of it and people just, ugh, somehow try to pull me in. Well I'm not doing it. Fuck it. I'll say my opinion ONCE and thats fucking it. I so sick of all the fighting and arguing. Just fucking shit your asses down and fucking talk. Get it all out, so we can all move on with our lives. God, my cousins are moving in like a month or so. I'm gonna miss them. I thought Michigan was far, ha, not compared to Virgina. God. I'm havent really sat down to think about it really. Wow, it's just hitting me how much I need them. They are basicly my only cousins. I'm gonna miss them so much. I hate this. I wanna move with them. My little babies are going to be so far away. :`( God, I have to take my ACT's next saturday. Thats going to be hell. I dont even know if I wanna go to college. I dont think I'll make it. I get to stressed easily. I overload myself. Freak. Cry and go nutz. Then completely give up. I'm so scared to go up. I dont know if I can handle it. Sometimes I think I can, but then other times I dont know if I can. Why the hell am I thinking so much. I'm over analyzing. Something I'm every good at, at least the doctor said that. That is my may problem. I take the situation and I start to think about it and I end up thinking in a negative, outragous way and get like this. I dont even know why I'm like this. I guess it just rage and nerves all stored up. I need to get them out. I miss my dog like crazy. It's almost been a year, and still think I hear him when I walk in the house. I wanna go to the basement to let him out of his cage. I miss him so much. He was my comfort. Now I dont have him. It's like losing my brother. He has been there my whole life, since I was 3 months old. If he was still alive he would be turning 17 real soon. Man Patch, I reallly miss you. And I love having my bird, Hilton Richie, and all..but its just not the same. I cant even touch the damn thing. I need to feel love, and I cant. Its such a cute bird and I love it to death, but I would so rather have my dog. Ok I really need to stop doing this.
I just dont know where to begin. Whats really pissing me off is tomorrow. We've had this all planned since LAST WEEKEND, and no one knows reallly if they can still come or make it. I donno. It just upsets me, cuz I was real excited about it too. I'm thinking it's not going to happen. If it doesnt i dont know what I'll do. There isnt anything to do around here. I want my car back. I dont want to take my last 3 exams, spanish, algebra, and chem. Its all gonna be a over-whelming thing. ((I know this is jumping like crazy and if you cant follow it then forget it)) There is so much drama right now, its getting to me. Im being torn in half like always. Cuz Im the fucking nuetral one, I try to stay out of it and people just, ugh, somehow try to pull me in. Well I'm not doing it. Fuck it. I'll say my opinion ONCE and thats fucking it. I so sick of all the fighting and arguing. Just fucking shit your asses down and fucking talk. Get it all out, so we can all move on with our lives. God, my cousins are moving in like a month or so. I'm gonna miss them. I thought Michigan was far, ha, not compared to Virgina. God. I'm havent really sat down to think about it really. Wow, it's just hitting me how much I need them. They are basicly my only cousins. I'm gonna miss them so much. I hate this. I wanna move with them. My little babies are going to be so far away. :`( God, I have to take my ACT's next saturday. Thats going to be hell. I dont even know if I wanna go to college. I dont think I'll make it. I get to stressed easily. I overload myself. Freak. Cry and go nutz. Then completely give up. I'm so scared to go up. I dont know if I can handle it. Sometimes I think I can, but then other times I dont know if I can. Why the hell am I thinking so much. I'm over analyzing. Something I'm every good at, at least the doctor said that. That is my may problem. I take the situation and I start to think about it and I end up thinking in a negative, outragous way and get like this. I dont even know why I'm like this. I guess it just rage and nerves all stored up. I need to get them out. I miss my dog like crazy. It's almost been a year, and still think I hear him when I walk in the house. I wanna go to the basement to let him out of his cage. I miss him so much. He was my comfort. Now I dont have him. It's like losing my brother. He has been there my whole life, since I was 3 months old. If he was still alive he would be turning 17 real soon. Man Patch, I reallly miss you. And I love having my bird, Hilton Richie, and all..but its just not the same. I cant even touch the damn thing. I need to feel love, and I cant. Its such a cute bird and I love it to death, but I would so rather have my dog. Ok I really need to stop doing this.