(no subject)
*So I know I should be going to bed right now. See that I'll have to go to chruch in the morning but I need to get this all out while it's still fresh. Well let me explain. I just watched the movie Mean Girls. And yes I've seen it before, but it never really hit me like it did tonight. I think it showed actually what I've been wanting. It may seem like a real retarded movie but the message is so strong. And it sooo true about high school as well. You have these clicks. It may not been exactly like it was in the movie, but you know their there. You can feeling them. And I know for a fact that people talk about me behide my back. Even best friends. We know we all do it. Shit, I add might it. Instead of going to the person sometimes I feel I need to say something to someone else. I don't really understand why. And we know when we get mad at people, best friends the most, we take everything and anything we know about them and try to make people hate them. Yes I did that. Everyone who talks to me knows I did that. And I feel horrible thinking back on that. I know I keep saying I'm sorry, but I feel like a complete and total waste of a friend now that I really think about it. Katie was my best friend. And then she started into stuff that I just couldn't handle anymore. And then when we got into that big fight I brought others into it. I said things and called her names because I was mad at her. Yes I am a hypocrite. And I guess you can say I'm not a good friend. Shit. But back to my point, (getting side tracked) I don't really understand why we do it. Why can't we all just get along. No we don't have to be best of friends with everyone, but at least have the dignity to not say mean shit about them, to their face or behide their back. I know I do it. And again I admit to it. But I also don't understand, if you don't like someone why you make friends choose between them. Yes your not gonna like everyone but God, don't make them choose. That's not right. So what if you hate her. You have a friend I don't like but I'm not making you choose. Shit all I'm saying is that I want maybe not peace, but dignity though all of us. I don't understand how I turned into someone I've always said I've hated, but I guess thats life. But my one and only Christmas wish, not present and all that shit, but real heart felt Christmas wish is this: I want to stop being a bitch and talking about people. And I want everyone to feel love and happiness. Not be afraid to go to school because others are and will talk about them. But it's gotta start somewhere. So I'm gonna use all my might to try. And I'm asking everyone and anyone, even if I don't talk to you, if you see or here me doing it stop me mediately.
^ Wow. Haven't written one like that in a while.^