Mammal Love

[dispossessed]

 Yesterday my pet rat Cassiopeia died suddenly.  Weeks prior she had developed a relatively common (in older rats) mammary tumor.  The vet said that it was probably a tumor, possibly a cancerous growth, slight chance of an abscess.  She wasn't particularly old so it was a bit of a surprise.  The biopsy and surgical removal was quite expensive so we decided to take our chances and keep her filled with love and treats.  She had been eating healthily, running freely, and climbing normally the day before.  Side note: She did feel more thin than usual.  The next day we came home and she was laying sideways with her little feet curled up and she didn't respond normally.  We knew she was in bad shape so we scooped her up right away.  Shallow erratic breathing and closed eyes.  I laid down and set her across my chest and covered her with a small cloth for a blanket to keep her warm.  Over the next few hours Ashlee and I cried as we watched her succumb to disease and stop breathing, spasm, and finally die in my hands.  It was one of the most painful moments in my life.  This small little rodent had such a big impact on my life I couldn't let go.  I bawled my eyes out.  She was too young to go.  She was fine the day before.  This was too soon.  We weren't ready.  I love that rat.

We're going to bury her in our favorite forest the next time we go camping.

I love you Cassie.