Your Sky (Massu-centric)
Your Sky
Masuda Takahisa-centric, NEWS
Notes:
Unbetaed, beware. Possibly the most random thing I ever wrote. Was going to be shippy fic with shipping stuff, but I got bored with the concept. So...here's out-of-character Massu declaring his sexual orientation to the rest of his groupmates. Nothing else happens.
. . . .
Shige arrives first. It isn't unexpected, but it's still reassuring to know that Shige cared enough to wake up early for him. It's rare for Shige to arrive without Koyama in tow, and now that he's thinking about it, Massu's worried about Koyama being late.
"You okay?" Shige asks, dropping his bag onto the floor.
Massu clutches his own bag tighter, finding comfort in the familiar weight on his lap. He would never do that to his bag -- the floor is dirty and his bag isn't. Not to mention having his belongings banging against each other, causing scratches among their surfaces. Usually, he sets his bag on a clean, soft surface, but for now he wants something to cling onto.
For all his intellect, Shige could be really clumsy with words. Massu's undeniably nervous, but he's trying his best to appear normal here. Shige shouldn't burst his act so easily.
"Yeah," Massu replies, his lips twitching upwards. If everything goes wrong, at least Shige would be there.
Tegoshi arrives next, greeting them with a smile. As usual, he seems unconcerned with what was going on, plopping onto the nearest chair with ease. Sometimes, Massu really envies Tegoshi's ability to remain upbeat in all situations. They're both optimistic people, but Tegoshi's positive aura far outshines his own.
Ryo storms in next, carefully choosing a chair before forcefully sitting himself on it. Massu knows what Ryo must be thinking, but if their manager hasn't stopped Ryo from worrying, then Massu wouldn't succeed either. Not until Massu tells him what they're meeting this morning for, and then it would be Massu's turn to worry. Shige must have noticed his uneasiness, because he's reaching over to pat Massu on the back, and Massu smiles in return.
The next one to arrive is Koyama, who brings in idle chatter that lifts the mood in the room a little. Massu can tell that Koyama's sneaking glances his way, obviously trying to guess what Massu's going to announce, but Koyama doesn't ask.
Finally, Yamapi rushes in, two minutes before their meeting time. This is a common sight as well, if you ignore the tense way their leader's holding himself.
"Spill," Ryo commands the second Yamapi sits onto the last chair that, for once, isn't occupied by Massu's bag.
"We're not getting suspended," Massu says. It's been his default answer ever since their manager told everyone else about this meeting.
"The manager told me that," Ryo scoffs. "He refrained from saying anything else. Not exactly reassuring."
For a group that's already lost two members and been suspended, they're all naturally wary of unexpected meetings. Good news is always revealed immediately. Even when it's not shared, there are always rumors, or a masked excitement among the staff that couldn't be completely concealed. But bad news is quiet, sneaky until the moment it is revealed, creating chaos only after it is exposed. The meeting before their suspension had started suspiciously like this one, and Massu is sorry for that.
Massu looks at their manager, who points his fingers towards Massu to indicate that it's Massu's choice. It may have been the manager who planned the meeting, but Massu was the one who wanted to finally tell the others. Massu then looks at Shige, who nods at him.
He takes a deep breath, and tries to smile. If anything, they were all professionals, and they would endure whatever they had to in order to keep the group going.
Another breath. Massu picks a spot on the table to look at when he says, as clear as he can, "I'm gay."
Massu doesn't look up, but he can feel the others staring. That was to be expected. Massu wonders if he should repeat what he just said, but he's not looking forward to it. It's difficult enough saying it just once. He doesn't think he can gather the courage to say the words again, and it didn't matter if the message was unclear. He'd said it, finally.
"I didn't mishear that, did I?" Koyama asks. A few seconds pass with the ticking clock being the only sound in the room. "This isn't a joke, right?" Koyama demands frantically.
"Massu doesn't joke like that," Shige points out for him, and Massu looks at him gratefully.
"Why?" Koyama asks.
Massu blinks. "What do you mean why?"
"Why now? Are we going to be seeing this on some magazine two days later? Why now, when we're already...settled? What happened?"
"Nothing." Massu shakes his head, trying not to feel the sting that comes from Koyama's accusation. Koyama's simply too kind to afflict discomfort on anyone purposely, but having his confession immediately linked to scandals still hurt. "Nothing happened."
Massu specifically chose this day because there is nothing special about it. No one has any important work, it isn't the start of any grand project. No one's birthday lands on this day, and there isn't the launch of a spaceship or any other large world-scale news that will forever burn the date into someone's memory. Massu wants this to be as unmemorable as possible, and all he wants to do now is return home and hope the others accept him in time. So far, he's hating the wait for his groupmates' reactions.
"That's exactly why," Shige replies. "This changes nothing. We're still the same NEWS. We're hopefully going to be the same NEWS ten years later. If we're going to be together for the next ten years, don't you think it's better that we know?"
"Why are you..." Koyama begins, looking at Shige instead of Massu. Then realization hits, and he narrows his eyes. "You knew."
Tegoshi looks offended. "You told Shige before us?"
Massu had known it wouldn't easy. He'd tried to prepare himself for the worst, trying to come up with all possible situations so he wouldn't be taken by surprise. He hadn't expected everyone to focus on Shige finding out before them though.
"He found out. It wasn't like I told him!" he says defensively.
The others look at Shige expectantly. Shige sighs loudly. "It wasn't my secret to tell."
"Who else knows?" Tegoshi asks. "Why didn't you tell us before?"
Massu wonders if Tegoshi is bothered with all the work they had to do together before this. Tegoshi's always been open with showing the fans what they want, but that was more due to being secure enough to service their fans than actual acceptance of homosexuality. Perhaps Tegoshi would want to stop touching him from now on -- it's happened before with other people. It wouldn't sell well if TegoMass suddenly couldn't come in contact with one another though.
"My family," Massu says. He lists a few others in his mind, and decides that the members wouldn't be interested in names they've never heard. "Some old friends back in school. And the manager."
"You told our manager, but you didn't tell us until now?" Koyama says.
Massu realizes that Yamapi and Ryo hasn't said a word since his confession. Ryo's completely rigid, staring at Massu with an expression that reminds Massu of why he's always been slightly afraid of Ryo. Kind of like waiting for a bomb to explode. Yamapi's just looking emptily at Massu, and somehow that's even scarier than Ryo's stare.
As the leader of NEWS and a senior of the agency, their words weight more than the rest of NEWS added together. Time may have gone by, but some things don't ever change. If Yamapi and Ryo doesn't want him around any longer...Massu refuses to think about what would happen then. They know it wouldn't be beneficial to their group. And they might not have been the best of friends, but Massu still trusts them. Probably.
"I had to tell him why I was uncomfortable with fanservice. Why do you think he never pushes me?"
"I always thought it's because no one says no to your smile," Koyama murmurs, and Massu has the sudden ridiculous urge to smile. Now isn't the time.
Tegoshi looks confused. "Does this mean you're the guy in a relationships then, or...?"
Massu tries not be annoyed by the common misconception of same-sex relationships caused by the media. The media prefers seeing guys identifying as girls because it's safe that way, it's still a girl liking a guy even if the girl's not born as a guy, and it's a stereotype Massu's tired of fighting.
He's always hated fights.
"It doesn't work that way. It's just, not important, okay?" Massu says, his fingers digging into the outer layer of his bag. He'll regret it later. "I just need you guys to know this. And hopefully be okay with it."
"I'm cool with it," Ryo's announces suddenly. Massu jumps a little, and everyone looks at Ryo in surprise. Ryo shrugs in response. "It's not like we don't dance with the subject all the time. As long as he's not in love with me, I'm cool with it."
Massu tries not to gape, but it's hard not to be genuinely surprised. Then again, there's a reason why everyone thinks Ryo is kind of cool.
Koyama's gaze continues to wander between Shige and Massu, like he's not sure who he should be looking at. Massu tries to think of something to say. He looks towards their manager, hoping he'd dismiss them so Massu could go home and sink into his own world, but from the looks of it the manager's staying out of things for now. Of course. This is between the members.
"Give me some time to take this in, okay?" Koyama says nervously. Massu nods firmly. That's understandable. Koyama starts waving his hands in front of him, another nervous habit. "I'll be fine once I think about it, I promise. I just need some time."
Massu smiles in relief. Three out of five members hasn't kicked him out yet. That's more than half. He's still terrified that his decision would affect their group interaction in the long run, but he's already feeling the freedom he felt when he told his family. He's never actively tried to hide it, but it's not like he's ever going to do anything obvious enough for anyone to find out. With the exception of Shige, but then Shige's just ridiculously smart when he's not trying to be an idol.
"You're not actually pining over me and waiting to impregnate me before marrying me, right?" Tegoshi asks.
Massu inadvertently laughs out loud. Tegoshi grins back, and Massu shakes his head.
"Great," Tegoshi says. "I still claim crossdressing rights, though."
Massu figures there's no need to point out that he has no interest in crossdressing anyway, that's Tegoshi's specialty. He wouldn't keel over and die if he ever has to do it again as a requirement of being an idol, but he's terrible at faking excitement. And he really doesn't get the appeal of skirts.
It's like everyone simultaneously realizes that it's Yamapi turn to say something. Even Ryo's quietly looking at Yamapi, because it's times like this they wait for their leader's final verdict.
Massu gulps. Yamapi's eyes are still empty, but his expression is calculating.
"Same rules apply," Yamapi says, and Massu squashes down his urge to pout in confusion. "Don't let your groupmates find out who you're dating from the tabloids," Yamapi elaborates, and Massu wants to hug his leader for treating this as normal as he possibly could.
He goes for a small smile instead. "Thank you," Massu says sincerely.
"What are you talking about?" Yamapi laughs, and that seems to be the cue for everyone to relax.
The atmosphere lightens, and Massu thinks it's about time everyone leave for their next jobs. There's nothing else to say for now. Their manager must have thought the same, because he's already ordering the staff to usher everyone to their respective posts for the day. Ryo, never one to stay for idle chitchat, barely halts for more than a minute before he flurries off.
Massu gets up and takes a good look at his group members. It's over. Nothing's changed, yet everything's different.
What would things be like the next time they meet up? Massu's not very good at thinking that far ahead. He's content with the way things are. Maybe, like Shige, the others wouldn't make this a big deal either. Because it's not, Massu's always been the same person, it's just part of him. And he's not stupid enough to fall for his groupmates, they needn't worry about that.
Before walking out the door, Koyama turns around with a curious look. "Have you been dating? I mean, these past years? We've never seen you with a girl, but..." Koyama gestures awkwardly. Massu gets the meaning.
He thinks about it for a while, and decides to answer truthfully. "Yes."
If anything, Koyama looks more awkward, almost silly. "Right now?" he asks. Massu could swear Shige and Tegoshi's ears perks up at the same time.
"No."
"Oh," Koyama says, heaving out a deep breath. Tegoshi looks disappointed.
They bid their goodbyes. Massu has no other work for the rest of the day, and he guesses that it's likely the same with Tegoshi. He plans on going home and sleeping the rest of the day off, maybe check out a few shops in between.
Shige moves to follow Koyama out, then turns around suddenly and pats Massu's back. "I'll talk to Koyama," Shige says, and Massu makes a note to treat Shige to something soon.
Massu alarmingly finds Yamapi still sitting there, looking at Massu with those unreadable eyes. Massu isn't sorry. He can't change who he is and he can't be sorry for that. But he thinks about Yamapi, who never really wanted to be leader but was handed the task with a silver platter and a gold pen signing his contract for him. Who had to keep a strong face on no matter what they went through, who had to take the blow every time something happened. And on top of everything else, Massu adds this to Yamapi's burden.
Massu bows as he exits, and Yamapi bows his head in response, saying nothing.
Masuda Takahisa-centric, NEWS
Notes:
Unbetaed, beware. Possibly the most random thing I ever wrote. Was going to be shippy fic with shipping stuff, but I got bored with the concept. So...here's out-of-character Massu declaring his sexual orientation to the rest of his groupmates. Nothing else happens.
. . . .
- Your Sky
Masuda Takahisa-centric, NEWS
Shige arrives first. It isn't unexpected, but it's still reassuring to know that Shige cared enough to wake up early for him. It's rare for Shige to arrive without Koyama in tow, and now that he's thinking about it, Massu's worried about Koyama being late.
"You okay?" Shige asks, dropping his bag onto the floor.
Massu clutches his own bag tighter, finding comfort in the familiar weight on his lap. He would never do that to his bag -- the floor is dirty and his bag isn't. Not to mention having his belongings banging against each other, causing scratches among their surfaces. Usually, he sets his bag on a clean, soft surface, but for now he wants something to cling onto.
For all his intellect, Shige could be really clumsy with words. Massu's undeniably nervous, but he's trying his best to appear normal here. Shige shouldn't burst his act so easily.
"Yeah," Massu replies, his lips twitching upwards. If everything goes wrong, at least Shige would be there.
Tegoshi arrives next, greeting them with a smile. As usual, he seems unconcerned with what was going on, plopping onto the nearest chair with ease. Sometimes, Massu really envies Tegoshi's ability to remain upbeat in all situations. They're both optimistic people, but Tegoshi's positive aura far outshines his own.
Ryo storms in next, carefully choosing a chair before forcefully sitting himself on it. Massu knows what Ryo must be thinking, but if their manager hasn't stopped Ryo from worrying, then Massu wouldn't succeed either. Not until Massu tells him what they're meeting this morning for, and then it would be Massu's turn to worry. Shige must have noticed his uneasiness, because he's reaching over to pat Massu on the back, and Massu smiles in return.
The next one to arrive is Koyama, who brings in idle chatter that lifts the mood in the room a little. Massu can tell that Koyama's sneaking glances his way, obviously trying to guess what Massu's going to announce, but Koyama doesn't ask.
Finally, Yamapi rushes in, two minutes before their meeting time. This is a common sight as well, if you ignore the tense way their leader's holding himself.
"Spill," Ryo commands the second Yamapi sits onto the last chair that, for once, isn't occupied by Massu's bag.
"We're not getting suspended," Massu says. It's been his default answer ever since their manager told everyone else about this meeting.
"The manager told me that," Ryo scoffs. "He refrained from saying anything else. Not exactly reassuring."
For a group that's already lost two members and been suspended, they're all naturally wary of unexpected meetings. Good news is always revealed immediately. Even when it's not shared, there are always rumors, or a masked excitement among the staff that couldn't be completely concealed. But bad news is quiet, sneaky until the moment it is revealed, creating chaos only after it is exposed. The meeting before their suspension had started suspiciously like this one, and Massu is sorry for that.
Massu looks at their manager, who points his fingers towards Massu to indicate that it's Massu's choice. It may have been the manager who planned the meeting, but Massu was the one who wanted to finally tell the others. Massu then looks at Shige, who nods at him.
He takes a deep breath, and tries to smile. If anything, they were all professionals, and they would endure whatever they had to in order to keep the group going.
Another breath. Massu picks a spot on the table to look at when he says, as clear as he can, "I'm gay."
Massu doesn't look up, but he can feel the others staring. That was to be expected. Massu wonders if he should repeat what he just said, but he's not looking forward to it. It's difficult enough saying it just once. He doesn't think he can gather the courage to say the words again, and it didn't matter if the message was unclear. He'd said it, finally.
"I didn't mishear that, did I?" Koyama asks. A few seconds pass with the ticking clock being the only sound in the room. "This isn't a joke, right?" Koyama demands frantically.
"Massu doesn't joke like that," Shige points out for him, and Massu looks at him gratefully.
"Why?" Koyama asks.
Massu blinks. "What do you mean why?"
"Why now? Are we going to be seeing this on some magazine two days later? Why now, when we're already...settled? What happened?"
"Nothing." Massu shakes his head, trying not to feel the sting that comes from Koyama's accusation. Koyama's simply too kind to afflict discomfort on anyone purposely, but having his confession immediately linked to scandals still hurt. "Nothing happened."
Massu specifically chose this day because there is nothing special about it. No one has any important work, it isn't the start of any grand project. No one's birthday lands on this day, and there isn't the launch of a spaceship or any other large world-scale news that will forever burn the date into someone's memory. Massu wants this to be as unmemorable as possible, and all he wants to do now is return home and hope the others accept him in time. So far, he's hating the wait for his groupmates' reactions.
"That's exactly why," Shige replies. "This changes nothing. We're still the same NEWS. We're hopefully going to be the same NEWS ten years later. If we're going to be together for the next ten years, don't you think it's better that we know?"
"Why are you..." Koyama begins, looking at Shige instead of Massu. Then realization hits, and he narrows his eyes. "You knew."
Tegoshi looks offended. "You told Shige before us?"
Massu had known it wouldn't easy. He'd tried to prepare himself for the worst, trying to come up with all possible situations so he wouldn't be taken by surprise. He hadn't expected everyone to focus on Shige finding out before them though.
"He found out. It wasn't like I told him!" he says defensively.
The others look at Shige expectantly. Shige sighs loudly. "It wasn't my secret to tell."
"Who else knows?" Tegoshi asks. "Why didn't you tell us before?"
Massu wonders if Tegoshi is bothered with all the work they had to do together before this. Tegoshi's always been open with showing the fans what they want, but that was more due to being secure enough to service their fans than actual acceptance of homosexuality. Perhaps Tegoshi would want to stop touching him from now on -- it's happened before with other people. It wouldn't sell well if TegoMass suddenly couldn't come in contact with one another though.
"My family," Massu says. He lists a few others in his mind, and decides that the members wouldn't be interested in names they've never heard. "Some old friends back in school. And the manager."
"You told our manager, but you didn't tell us until now?" Koyama says.
Massu realizes that Yamapi and Ryo hasn't said a word since his confession. Ryo's completely rigid, staring at Massu with an expression that reminds Massu of why he's always been slightly afraid of Ryo. Kind of like waiting for a bomb to explode. Yamapi's just looking emptily at Massu, and somehow that's even scarier than Ryo's stare.
As the leader of NEWS and a senior of the agency, their words weight more than the rest of NEWS added together. Time may have gone by, but some things don't ever change. If Yamapi and Ryo doesn't want him around any longer...Massu refuses to think about what would happen then. They know it wouldn't be beneficial to their group. And they might not have been the best of friends, but Massu still trusts them. Probably.
"I had to tell him why I was uncomfortable with fanservice. Why do you think he never pushes me?"
"I always thought it's because no one says no to your smile," Koyama murmurs, and Massu has the sudden ridiculous urge to smile. Now isn't the time.
Tegoshi looks confused. "Does this mean you're the guy in a relationships then, or...?"
Massu tries not be annoyed by the common misconception of same-sex relationships caused by the media. The media prefers seeing guys identifying as girls because it's safe that way, it's still a girl liking a guy even if the girl's not born as a guy, and it's a stereotype Massu's tired of fighting.
He's always hated fights.
"It doesn't work that way. It's just, not important, okay?" Massu says, his fingers digging into the outer layer of his bag. He'll regret it later. "I just need you guys to know this. And hopefully be okay with it."
"I'm cool with it," Ryo's announces suddenly. Massu jumps a little, and everyone looks at Ryo in surprise. Ryo shrugs in response. "It's not like we don't dance with the subject all the time. As long as he's not in love with me, I'm cool with it."
Massu tries not to gape, but it's hard not to be genuinely surprised. Then again, there's a reason why everyone thinks Ryo is kind of cool.
Koyama's gaze continues to wander between Shige and Massu, like he's not sure who he should be looking at. Massu tries to think of something to say. He looks towards their manager, hoping he'd dismiss them so Massu could go home and sink into his own world, but from the looks of it the manager's staying out of things for now. Of course. This is between the members.
"Give me some time to take this in, okay?" Koyama says nervously. Massu nods firmly. That's understandable. Koyama starts waving his hands in front of him, another nervous habit. "I'll be fine once I think about it, I promise. I just need some time."
Massu smiles in relief. Three out of five members hasn't kicked him out yet. That's more than half. He's still terrified that his decision would affect their group interaction in the long run, but he's already feeling the freedom he felt when he told his family. He's never actively tried to hide it, but it's not like he's ever going to do anything obvious enough for anyone to find out. With the exception of Shige, but then Shige's just ridiculously smart when he's not trying to be an idol.
"You're not actually pining over me and waiting to impregnate me before marrying me, right?" Tegoshi asks.
Massu inadvertently laughs out loud. Tegoshi grins back, and Massu shakes his head.
"Great," Tegoshi says. "I still claim crossdressing rights, though."
Massu figures there's no need to point out that he has no interest in crossdressing anyway, that's Tegoshi's specialty. He wouldn't keel over and die if he ever has to do it again as a requirement of being an idol, but he's terrible at faking excitement. And he really doesn't get the appeal of skirts.
It's like everyone simultaneously realizes that it's Yamapi turn to say something. Even Ryo's quietly looking at Yamapi, because it's times like this they wait for their leader's final verdict.
Massu gulps. Yamapi's eyes are still empty, but his expression is calculating.
"Same rules apply," Yamapi says, and Massu squashes down his urge to pout in confusion. "Don't let your groupmates find out who you're dating from the tabloids," Yamapi elaborates, and Massu wants to hug his leader for treating this as normal as he possibly could.
He goes for a small smile instead. "Thank you," Massu says sincerely.
"What are you talking about?" Yamapi laughs, and that seems to be the cue for everyone to relax.
The atmosphere lightens, and Massu thinks it's about time everyone leave for their next jobs. There's nothing else to say for now. Their manager must have thought the same, because he's already ordering the staff to usher everyone to their respective posts for the day. Ryo, never one to stay for idle chitchat, barely halts for more than a minute before he flurries off.
Massu gets up and takes a good look at his group members. It's over. Nothing's changed, yet everything's different.
What would things be like the next time they meet up? Massu's not very good at thinking that far ahead. He's content with the way things are. Maybe, like Shige, the others wouldn't make this a big deal either. Because it's not, Massu's always been the same person, it's just part of him. And he's not stupid enough to fall for his groupmates, they needn't worry about that.
Before walking out the door, Koyama turns around with a curious look. "Have you been dating? I mean, these past years? We've never seen you with a girl, but..." Koyama gestures awkwardly. Massu gets the meaning.
He thinks about it for a while, and decides to answer truthfully. "Yes."
If anything, Koyama looks more awkward, almost silly. "Right now?" he asks. Massu could swear Shige and Tegoshi's ears perks up at the same time.
"No."
"Oh," Koyama says, heaving out a deep breath. Tegoshi looks disappointed.
They bid their goodbyes. Massu has no other work for the rest of the day, and he guesses that it's likely the same with Tegoshi. He plans on going home and sleeping the rest of the day off, maybe check out a few shops in between.
Shige moves to follow Koyama out, then turns around suddenly and pats Massu's back. "I'll talk to Koyama," Shige says, and Massu makes a note to treat Shige to something soon.
Massu alarmingly finds Yamapi still sitting there, looking at Massu with those unreadable eyes. Massu isn't sorry. He can't change who he is and he can't be sorry for that. But he thinks about Yamapi, who never really wanted to be leader but was handed the task with a silver platter and a gold pen signing his contract for him. Who had to keep a strong face on no matter what they went through, who had to take the blow every time something happened. And on top of everything else, Massu adds this to Yamapi's burden.
Massu bows as he exits, and Yamapi bows his head in response, saying nothing.