the circus has fallen
1) if I look at things. write them out on paper. list them. i have so many ways i could go. so many things i could do.
putting into consideration. whats realistic, what's managable, what's easier, what's the outcome, and will this make me happy.
its all this weight thats just been put on my shoulders. and i don't know where to go or what to do.
there always lilttle glitches and catches to all these plans.
and im afraid maybe i won't be able to follow through and keep it together.
im worried and anxious.
2) i just want to be heard.
for the people sitting around me to REALLY hear me.
understand where im coming from. take me in.
thats why i got so frusterated last time
because i didn't know how to get them to understand.
to get them to hear me.
like i was screaming and no one heard me.
that's all i want, to be heard.
i dont' want to be treated like an object.
like im broken.
talked about like im not in the room, right there, looking into their eyes.
i'm a human.
and just like everyone else.
I WANT TO BE HEARD.
god damn.
3) I don't know what to do. and that really makes me scared.