(no subject)
I figure I should update this thing and at least make one of the posts public. The last two have been private...mostly because I think I'm afraid of my own feelings that came out in them. The thought of anyone reading that deep into my thoughts and feelings frightens me.
I'm babysitting for another week yet...Then I will be taking a trip down to Vancouver. It looks like Josh probably will not be able to come along but we'll see what all happens in the next few days with schedules. I really need to start looking for a job, I've been putting it off because the thought of it just makes me feel stressed to the point of not even being able to do anything about it. Also, registering for classes is another thing haunting me in the back of my over-contemplative, mostly relaxed mind. This too is something I don't want to face. I've failed two classes this year, which I'm embarrassed about and I also fear will affect my acceptance at UNBC. It makes me sick thinking that this is who I've become. This year seems like it has done nothing but drag me a lil farther away from accomplishing everything I want to have completed in the next few years and it's making me feel like giving up. I think like I'm 20 years older than I actually am...
I'm babysitting for another week yet...Then I will be taking a trip down to Vancouver. It looks like Josh probably will not be able to come along but we'll see what all happens in the next few days with schedules. I really need to start looking for a job, I've been putting it off because the thought of it just makes me feel stressed to the point of not even being able to do anything about it. Also, registering for classes is another thing haunting me in the back of my over-contemplative, mostly relaxed mind. This too is something I don't want to face. I've failed two classes this year, which I'm embarrassed about and I also fear will affect my acceptance at UNBC. It makes me sick thinking that this is who I've become. This year seems like it has done nothing but drag me a lil farther away from accomplishing everything I want to have completed in the next few years and it's making me feel like giving up. I think like I'm 20 years older than I actually am...