Where I belong
I got to thinking about it today.
I'm really and truly happy now. Like REALLY happy.
I know that sounds weird, but I am. I'm working my ass off in a job I adore and yes I had a hard start but even the bad days aren't as bad as my bad days at Mercer.
The funks are all but gone. You know the ones. Like the time I threw my cellphone against the wall or tried to beat up my door frame. The times when I'd be all alone and I'd go into horrible depressions and couldn't find my way out are gone. At least for now.
I'm not even sure what happened to them, exactly. But I was walking by myself at the Mall at Millenia (the best mall ever after Perimeter Mall in Atlanta) with my iPod just walking and I got to thinking about walking through the Macon Mall and how this mall was SOOOO much better than the Macon Mall. I mean its leaps and bounds over that mall. But I digress.
Anyway, it occurred to me that some of those walks through Macon Mall were Barbara/Crystal/Anna Beth/Brent making me feel better because I was in one of my funks. And it also occurred to me that some of those times with me walking around the mall were me talking to Patrick/Raegan/Amanda as they were talking me out of funks.
Then as I was walking past the Lacoste (thats how cool this mall is...it has stores I can't afford in it) I realized I hadn't been in one of those funks since I left Atlanta. Not really. The closest I've come to having one has been nights of pure exhaustion and were very easily cured without violent attacks on walls or cellphones. I've cried out of frustration and a little over missing my friends and my sister and daddy (I talk to my mom everyday still) but not really out of lonliness or depression.
So, I sat down in front of my computer when I got home, thought about this and realized I'm truly happy. Sure I've hit some bumps and sure I've been angry, but not like I was in GA. I'm in a job I truly love in a place I truly love. So my car's brakes are squeaking worse after I dropped $342 on them last week. So I have some cast members who are real pains in my butt. So I have a bajillion dollars in student loan debt and I'm making close to nothing. I LOVE what I'm doing and I'm at a great place in my life. I'm 22 years old and while I've accomplished next to nothing, I really believe I'm right where I'm supposed to be and you'll have to kill me to make me leave.
I'm still road tripping it to Macon if my brakes get fixed properly and they don't take my day off away again (which is a possibility), but now its less for the need to be home than it is for the need to see my Macon family. I AM home now.
I'm really and truly happy now. Like REALLY happy.
I know that sounds weird, but I am. I'm working my ass off in a job I adore and yes I had a hard start but even the bad days aren't as bad as my bad days at Mercer.
The funks are all but gone. You know the ones. Like the time I threw my cellphone against the wall or tried to beat up my door frame. The times when I'd be all alone and I'd go into horrible depressions and couldn't find my way out are gone. At least for now.
I'm not even sure what happened to them, exactly. But I was walking by myself at the Mall at Millenia (the best mall ever after Perimeter Mall in Atlanta) with my iPod just walking and I got to thinking about walking through the Macon Mall and how this mall was SOOOO much better than the Macon Mall. I mean its leaps and bounds over that mall. But I digress.
Anyway, it occurred to me that some of those walks through Macon Mall were Barbara/Crystal/Anna Beth/Brent making me feel better because I was in one of my funks. And it also occurred to me that some of those times with me walking around the mall were me talking to Patrick/Raegan/Amanda as they were talking me out of funks.
Then as I was walking past the Lacoste (thats how cool this mall is...it has stores I can't afford in it) I realized I hadn't been in one of those funks since I left Atlanta. Not really. The closest I've come to having one has been nights of pure exhaustion and were very easily cured without violent attacks on walls or cellphones. I've cried out of frustration and a little over missing my friends and my sister and daddy (I talk to my mom everyday still) but not really out of lonliness or depression.
So, I sat down in front of my computer when I got home, thought about this and realized I'm truly happy. Sure I've hit some bumps and sure I've been angry, but not like I was in GA. I'm in a job I truly love in a place I truly love. So my car's brakes are squeaking worse after I dropped $342 on them last week. So I have some cast members who are real pains in my butt. So I have a bajillion dollars in student loan debt and I'm making close to nothing. I LOVE what I'm doing and I'm at a great place in my life. I'm 22 years old and while I've accomplished next to nothing, I really believe I'm right where I'm supposed to be and you'll have to kill me to make me leave.
I'm still road tripping it to Macon if my brakes get fixed properly and they don't take my day off away again (which is a possibility), but now its less for the need to be home than it is for the need to see my Macon family. I AM home now.