Let's just be friends
Ahhh those four special words that one hopes NEVER to hear from the person they love. And yet hear them i do. You know when jess and andrew broke up, i thought the way she was acting was just a little dramatic. I mean seriously get up and shower and face the day. so he doesn't want to be with you, it isn't the end of the world and he's not the only fish in the sea. but now i know that it REALLY hurts when the person that you love and plan on spending the rest of your life with suddenly decides they want out and you're left standing there with the pieces of your heart scattered on the floor wondering how you are going to get up and face the next day without him. wondering why you put everything u could into this relationship and you end up alone. it is the end of the world. or at least it seems like it. and everyone keeps calling to "see how you're doing" while really trying to guage if you've finally cried or showed some emotion other than anger. and every song on the radio reminds you of him and every guy on campus you see as him. and you can't sleep because you keep going over and over it in your head and you can't eat because, why it doesn't make a difference. i feel like crawling in bed and never waking up but i don't have time and i know that no one i know will let me do that to myself. so i press on and try not to think about it and try to make this huge ache leave my chest. but how do you remain on the other side of the "friend" line when you want so much more? i hate that he did this to me. after i spent so long agonizing over whether or not to give it another try, after his reassurance that this time it would be ok, i'm broken hearted again. only this time, i really want to hate him but i don't. i just want to hear his voice, see his face, hold his hand, be held by him. and the hard part is that i can't do most of that anymore. i don't have that right. and that's what i hate.