I hate that feeling...
I hate this. I am exhausted because I am constantly doing something,I never have a moment to just sit and relax. There is always something I am doing or should be doing. I never get everything accomplished. I feel so overwhelmed that it is insane. After being on the run to the point that I barely have time to sleep even a couple hours a night, I still feel as if I accomplish nothing, that my time could be better spent, or that what I did accomplished is not up to my fullest potential. There is always something more pressing for me to be working on. I have stressed myself out to the point that I don't even have time to sit and eat an actual meal 90% of the time.
Also, I hate the fact that I procrastinate as a result of my fears. For example, I haven't gotten as far on my college application process as I should be because I am afraid of rejection. I don't feel that I will get in. I have absolutely no confidence in myself what so ever. So, now, I just prolong the enevitable, and stressing myself out simultaneously. My parents really don't help on this, they keep injecting their opinions when they are not wanted, taking into consideration everything, except where I would be happy, for where I should apply. They make me want to scream DAMMIT! I am the one who has to go to this college, not you! I have enough self-esteem problems and doubts about myself without you telling me where I am too stupid to get into! but then I will just get into trouble. My cousin will not stop plugging the stupid fucking college that he owns... I wish my whole family would just shut the hell up and stop applying much un-necessary pressure on me.
So, yes, now that I have vented about how I hate the feeling of unfullfilled actions and unnecessary pressure, I will go back to continually exhausting myself...
<3 Melissa
Also, I hate the fact that I procrastinate as a result of my fears. For example, I haven't gotten as far on my college application process as I should be because I am afraid of rejection. I don't feel that I will get in. I have absolutely no confidence in myself what so ever. So, now, I just prolong the enevitable, and stressing myself out simultaneously. My parents really don't help on this, they keep injecting their opinions when they are not wanted, taking into consideration everything, except where I would be happy, for where I should apply. They make me want to scream DAMMIT! I am the one who has to go to this college, not you! I have enough self-esteem problems and doubts about myself without you telling me where I am too stupid to get into! but then I will just get into trouble. My cousin will not stop plugging the stupid fucking college that he owns... I wish my whole family would just shut the hell up and stop applying much un-necessary pressure on me.
So, yes, now that I have vented about how I hate the feeling of unfullfilled actions and unnecessary pressure, I will go back to continually exhausting myself...
<3 Melissa