Worst of Both Worlds (Part 1/2)dioschoriumJuly 18 2013, 00:35:45 UTC
This may or may not be incest, depending on your point of view. Also, there may be more shipping than you were prepared for, so beware.
***
Life and sex caressed a fortunate few and mocked all others, especially two-headed monsters. Obviously, in a world populated by everything from wide-mouthed green slime molds to fuzzy amalgamations of bats and reptiles to centipede/dragon hybrids, no one had much authority to single out anyone else for looking “weird.” But the irrationality of preferences and attraction still trod across each individual brainand when two brains with different (though, admittedly, not incompatible) preferences shared the same body, they might as well give up on mating altogether.
Such thoughts flitted through Terry's mind as he and Terri rolled over in their small bed that night, their sweat leaving little lavender stains on the pillowcases. Their laughable attempt at a sex life this past week had proved disastrous. Their search for an elusive double-headed intersexed monster had borne little fruitand when it finally had, the result tasted bitter. Shelley and Chellie, as they had introduced themselves, behaved as graciously and looked as attractive as any monster could, but conversation with them proved to be a never-ending list of misfortunes. They were forced to stay in a single room, since the housing authority insisted that they would “freak out” any hypothetical roommate. They were half-male, so they were barred from joining a sorority. They were half-female, so they were not allowed to join a fraternity. Terry and Terri were the first date they had ever had; even the other two-headed monsters waved their advances away with a “Thanks, but I'm not into that.” Fortunately, all buildings on campus contained unisex bathrooms to accommodate sexless or third-sex or fourth-sex monsters, so Shelley and Chellie took comfort that they were permitted this one necessity. It was all they could rejoice in. While Terry and Terri sympathized with their litany of woe, they wished that the bright green octopus-people could manage an occasional pair of smiles, although smiling was difficult enough, given that they had beaks.
Some monsters could alter their sexual characteristics at will, but Shelley and Chellie did not belong to that category. And even if they did, nothing would have been solved. Terri mustered no attraction to anything female, whether she was a serpentine succubus or a fuzzy blue sloth-creature, and Chellie becoming male was out of the question. In fact, both of them insisted that their respective psyches meshed perfectly with their physical sexes.
What finally ground the rickety jalopy that was their relationship to a halt occurred a few hours ago. The four of them had fumbled at a make-out session, which began with Terry kissing the sucker-dotted underside of Chellie's tentacles and Terri offering his neck to Shelley for a round of love bites, as always. A few minutes later, however, Terry's lips and hands crept over to Shelley, leaving Chellie neglected.
She pushed both Terry and Terri off Shelley's flank. All three male participants in the thwarted foursome uttered cries of protest, but Chellie shouted, “That's it! If I'm not going to enjoy myself, I'm not going to watch my brother do it! Get out of here, and take your glowy thing with you!” She gestured with her awkward half-formed tentacle-fingers to the mesh-covered sphere of iridescent protoplasm that Terri had brought as a toy.
And the brothers did scuttle out of the lonely room that their week-long lovers shared with themselves.
Terry shuddered as the events of the evening played back. Before he could distract himself by constructing a mental outline of his upcoming extra-credit paper on Gorgon poetry, he heard his brother whisper to him.
“Terry?”
“What is it?”
“I know we've had a disappointing love life, especially, y'know, tonight”
“Wow! Thank you for telling me.” Terry picked up his pillow to stuff over Terri's face, but he lowered it with a sigh.
“But I was gonna say that it's a miracle we even found them. I mean, remember when we were in high school and we never went on a single date because you thought you were only into girls?”
***
Life and sex caressed a fortunate few and mocked all others, especially two-headed monsters. Obviously, in a world populated by everything from wide-mouthed green slime molds to fuzzy amalgamations of bats and reptiles to centipede/dragon hybrids, no one had much authority to single out anyone else for looking “weird.” But the irrationality of preferences and attraction still trod across each individual brainand when two brains with different (though, admittedly, not incompatible) preferences shared the same body, they might as well give up on mating altogether.
Such thoughts flitted through Terry's mind as he and Terri rolled over in their small bed that night, their sweat leaving little lavender stains on the pillowcases. Their laughable attempt at a sex life this past week had proved disastrous. Their search for an elusive double-headed intersexed monster had borne little fruitand when it finally had, the result tasted bitter. Shelley and Chellie, as they had introduced themselves, behaved as graciously and looked as attractive as any monster could, but conversation with them proved to be a never-ending list of misfortunes. They were forced to stay in a single room, since the housing authority insisted that they would “freak out” any hypothetical roommate. They were half-male, so they were barred from joining a sorority. They were half-female, so they were not allowed to join a fraternity. Terry and Terri were the first date they had ever had; even the other two-headed monsters waved their advances away with a “Thanks, but I'm not into that.” Fortunately, all buildings on campus contained unisex bathrooms to accommodate sexless or third-sex or fourth-sex monsters, so Shelley and Chellie took comfort that they were permitted this one necessity. It was all they could rejoice in. While Terry and Terri sympathized with their litany of woe, they wished that the bright green octopus-people could manage an occasional pair of smiles, although smiling was difficult enough, given that they had beaks.
Some monsters could alter their sexual characteristics at will, but Shelley and Chellie did not belong to that category. And even if they did, nothing would have been solved. Terri mustered no attraction to anything female, whether she was a serpentine succubus or a fuzzy blue sloth-creature, and Chellie becoming male was out of the question. In fact, both of them insisted that their respective psyches meshed perfectly with their physical sexes.
What finally ground the rickety jalopy that was their relationship to a halt occurred a few hours ago. The four of them had fumbled at a make-out session, which began with Terry kissing the sucker-dotted underside of Chellie's tentacles and Terri offering his neck to Shelley for a round of love bites, as always. A few minutes later, however, Terry's lips and hands crept over to Shelley, leaving Chellie neglected.
She pushed both Terry and Terri off Shelley's flank. All three male participants in the thwarted foursome uttered cries of protest, but Chellie shouted, “That's it! If I'm not going to enjoy myself, I'm not going to watch my brother do it! Get out of here, and take your glowy thing with you!” She gestured with her awkward half-formed tentacle-fingers to the mesh-covered sphere of iridescent protoplasm that Terri had brought as a toy.
And the brothers did scuttle out of the lonely room that their week-long lovers shared with themselves.
Terry shuddered as the events of the evening played back. Before he could distract himself by constructing a mental outline of his upcoming extra-credit paper on Gorgon poetry, he heard his brother whisper to him.
“Terry?”
“What is it?”
“I know we've had a disappointing love life, especially, y'know, tonight”
“Wow! Thank you for telling me.” Terry picked up his pillow to stuff over Terri's face, but he lowered it with a sigh.
“But I was gonna say that it's a miracle we even found them. I mean, remember when we were in high school and we never went on a single date because you thought you were only into girls?”
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