A Meeting of Worlds {3/?}afterandalasiaAugust 18 2014, 22:40:39 UTC
The border officers waiting at the gates were a mixed squad, one burly human with buzz-cropped hair and a five o'clock shadow and a toon who could have been his caricature right down to the bronzed skin and dark glasses. Narissa sat back, boredom almost tangible in the air around her this close to Toon Town, as her chauffeur showed their access passes, then flicked away her cigarette and tucked the holder back into her leather clutch bag.
"I do try not to spend too much time in this place. My husband liked it more," she gave a sniff. "As does his son."
Their passes were handed back, and the gates rolled open to reveal the brightly-coloured, sharp-edged world beyond. Aside from one school trip when he had been a child, Robert had never actually been into Toon Town before, but he had not told Narissa that. Bill probably knew, from the way that he gave Robert a speculative look.
Then the chauffeur started up the car again, and they were off into the world of toons that Robert had managed to stay out of for so many years.
Notes:
"Harry" Andalasia's first name is taken from Harry Stockwell, who voiced the Prince in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937). "Bill Holmes" is taken from Bill Thompson and Taylor Holmes, who voiced Kings Hubert and Stefan in Sleeping Beauty (1959).
Edward/Giselle will only be minor, the main focus of this fic will be the Giselle/Robert.
A Meeting of Worlds {4/?}afterandalasiaAugust 19 2014, 13:19:15 UTC
Eventually, they ran out of good road, and swapped a chauffeured limo for a toon carriage with two suspiciously intelligent-looking horses and a rather horsey-looking groom. Robert was careful as he took hold of the handle of the carriage's door, not quite sure how it would feel, but the golden handle - would it even be gold? He was not sure how such things were measured in Toon Town - was smooth and sun-warmed under his hand, with just enough give to be unsettling as he pulled himself up and ducked his head under the lintel.
Narissa remained moodily silent as they continued down the increasingly-uneven road, and Robert was thankful that he had never suffered from travel sickness as he went back to reading through the documents which had been hastily slipped into his briefcase. Harry Andalasia had been an odd guy even for a toon; his first wife had been a toon as well, but had died (no details given in the files) after the birth of their son Edward. Narissa was his second wife, and had promptly 'persuaded' her husband to start aligning his business of exporting toon materials to the human world with human laws. Fully, rather than the minimum requirements, and then there were notes that made Robert's eyes glaze over because those really weren't his speciality.
"I did try to persuade him to at least bring her to one of our properties closer to the gate," said Narissa archly, as the carriage bumped its way over the comically-rutted roads. "But no, he wants to keep playing happy families or whatever they're doing out there."
Robert caught Bill's eye and raised an eyebrow. An annulment on the grounds of non-consummation might be easy to argue compared to some of the other options that might be bought up. Provided, of course, that there hadn't been any... patty-cake going on. Things like that were harder to prove with toons, though. It would need both of them to swear or admit to it before the judge. They would have to wait until they could get a moment to discuss that option, though; for now, Robert returned to his reading and Bill to his small talk with Narissa, and they continued the journey into Toon Town.
The next that Robert looked up, it was because a small toon bluebird had not just flown into the carriage, but crapped all over the sheet he was trying to read. Looking up, he tried to wave the bird out, only for it to turn and fix beady eyes on him.
"You watch where you're flapping your hands, Mister!" it snapped.
Of course the bluebirds spoke. While Robert was still looking bewildered, Narissa reached over and smacked the bird so hard that it shot out of the window on the other side of the carriage. "Vermin," she said flatly. Craning her neck to look out of the window, she added: "Ah, how appropriate. We're here."
The carriage rattled to a halt, and it occurred to Robert that if it hadn't felt painful for the last few miles that was probably because his ass had come to sleep. He almost fell down the steps of the carriage, just about catching himself, while Bill managed to hop down lightly and Narissa climbed down with an air of vague resentment.
It was... a treehouse. Not the sort of treehouse that Robert had ever seen before, however; the tree that held it had to be twenty feet across and eighty feet tall, and a full-sized cottage was perched in the branches about fifteen feet up. Only in Toon Town.
A toon woman leant out of the front window of the cottage, red hair spilling around her shoulders, and waved before vanishing back in again. "Edward!" she called, somewhere out of view. "Edward, there are visitors here!"
A Meeting of Worlds {5/?}afterandalasiaAugust 19 2014, 13:19:59 UTC
There was a moment's pause, then a man look out as well, gave a whoop, and then disappeared off to reappear a moment later at the door. He pushed out a rope ladder, which unfurled down to their feet, and Narissa groaned.
"Marvellous," she said. Robert found himself rather close to agreeing with her. Before any of them could set foot on the ladder, however, the young man came sliding down and wrapped Narissa in a hug made enormous by his huge puffy shoulders and swirling cape. Narissa patted him on the shoulder. "Hello, Edward."
"Mother!" declared the young man. He was only about the same height as Robert, but somehow seemed far larger, filling up the forest with his enthusiasm. "I'm so glad that you came! Nathaniel delivered my message, then?"
"Yes, dear," said Narissa, sounding none too enthusiastic.
Edward finally released her and stepped back, putting his gloved hands on his hips. Harry Andalasia's son from his first marriage, he didn't much resemble his father, but from what Robert had gathered that was not all that uncommon among toons. "And you have bought these gentlemen with you! Pray, introduce us!"
Once again, the two lawyers exchanged glances. Robert, at least, had been under the impression that Edward knew they were coming to straighten things out. Another mark in the column for evidence that Narissa wanted to stop this marriage from existing.
"Edward," she said, "this is Mr. Phillip, and Mr. Holmes. I invited them along to talk over a few issues. Mr. Phillip, Mr. Holmes, this is my son Edward."
The next thing that Robert knew, his hand was taken in an iron grip and shaken firmly. The texture of Edward's gloves was a little like leather, but more even, without any of the irregularities or folds that would be in human gloves. "Grand to meet you!" Edward declared, before doing the same to Bill. To judge by Bill's face, he hadn't been expecting that tight of a grip either. "And you also, sir! Come, enter our humble abode!"
Robert half-suspected that exclamation marks were going to start popping out of thin air, but no, there were only some trilling songbirds in the trees and a chipmunk with a suspicious expression sitting on one of the rungs of the ladder just above head-height. Wondering where exactly this had been in his job description, he watched Edward bound up the ladder, took his briefcase in hand, and followed as Bill waved him on ahead.
Frankly, he could only hope this was going to be the strangest case of his career. The thought of something stranger was frankly troubling at this point.
A Meeting of Worlds {6/?}afterandalasiaSeptember 15 2014, 18:38:50 UTC
"Mother, esteemed friends," said Edward - declared, really, in that big bold tone of voice that made Robert's head hurt, "I give to you my wife," his voice softened slightly as he gave her a misty-eyed smile, "my one true love, Giselle."
Though her hands were clutched in Edward's, Giselle was looking at them in amazement. She was pretty, young - so far as Robert could judge with toons - with a flower crown delicately unwinding through her hair and wearing a floaty pink dress. Her feet were bare beneath it.
"Giselle, this is my mother Narissa, and these gentlemen are acquaintances of hers." Beaming, he steered Giselle towards his mother. She blushed, a pretty pink that bloomed only on her cheeks, and looked up at her new husband before turning to his mother and dropping something of a curtsey. Robert couldn't say that it was the best he had ever seen.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am," she said earnestly.
Narissa eyed the girl up and down with such a tangible disdain that it made Robert want to cringe. He couldn't tell whether or not Giselle was aware of the scorn in that gaze; if she was, she had impressive poise to ignore it so. "Charmed, I'm sure."
"Oh! Tea," said Giselle, putting her hands to her mouth, blue eyes going wide. "I am so sorry that I forgot. I'll get us some refreshments immediately."
"Of course, my darling," said Edward, as Giselle slipped from his hands and through the doorway behind them. "Come, be seated!"
He waved his arm around the room. It was as if someone had plucked a cottage from the ground. And possibly the eighteenth century. Open stairs curved off at the back of the circular room, and bubble-like windows with seats beneath them made up a significant part of one wall. The wooden beams that structured the outside of the building were evident here as well, though many of them had a flowing branchness about them that they had to be the actual tree itself, uncut and possibly even still alive. An oval wooden table dominated the rest of the room, standing on a furry rug which Robert didn't really want to think too hard about, and six chairs around it.
"Thanks," said Bill, not hesitating to take one of the chairs. Its legs bowed comically beneath him.
Robert hastily took the seat next to his colleague, gritting his teeth at the creaking sound it automatically gave and at the heart shapes carved into the back. The cushion was absurdly soft, and gave the impression that it was moulding itself to his buttocks as he set his briefcase on the floor beside him. At the head of the table, Narissa allowed Edward to pull out her seat for her and then tuck it back in afterwards, before producing another cigarette from her seemingly endless supply.
"So, mother, to what do I owe the presence of your friends?" said Edward. That was half a declaration as well.
Narissa rolled her eyes. "Edward, these gentlemen are not my friends; they are from a law firm and are here on business."
"Oh." Edward looked slightly deflated, a puzzled pout coming over his features.
"If you will kindly take a seat," she added, gesturing with her cigarette and spilling ash on the floor, where mercifully it did not set the whole building alight. "And where is that girl?"
"My wife Giselle, my one-"
"Yes, yes," said Narissa irritably. She cast her eyes over to the lawyers. "Would one of you gentlemen be kind enough to go and fetch her. I clearly need to explain a few things to my step-son."
Exchanging another glance with Bill, Robert decided in about one heartbeat that he would rather talk to the girl than sit and see whatever things were about to be explained to Edward Arendelle. Muttering something indistinct, he got to his feet and slipped in the direction of the kitchen, ignoring the chair sproinging back into place behind him. Bill cleared his throat and tried to start things off politely as Robert stepped through the doorway.
"I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss," the girl was singing to herself. "And a prince I'm hoping comes with this... oh!"
A Meeting of Worlds {7/?}afterandalasiaSeptember 15 2014, 19:08:58 UTC
She turned, caught sight of Robert, and jumped. The teapot, cups and saucers on the tray which she held rattled in place, but did not fall. Even so, Robert lunged forwards ready to catch it, hands coming up underneath to cradle the base of the tray beneath Giselle's own.
Her eyes met with his, wide and a shade of blue he had never seen on a human. Toon blue, he supposed. Her hands did not quite feel like the other, inanimate toon surfaces he had touched before; they were as warm as a human's, but far softer, bone structure delicate underneath.
Drawing in a shocked breath, Giselle snatched her hands away, leaving Robert holding the tea. "Sorry," she said, with a breathless smile. "I didn't realise you were there."
"You were... singing," he said, faintly aware that it was a nonsensical thing to linger on. It made Giselle blush again, though, and nod. "Well, that's... nice. How did you and Edward meet?"
In a moment the blush faded, and Giselle's face lit up with a smile so bright he half-expected it to sparkle. "Isn't he wonderful?" She clasped her hands together and twirled on the spot, skirt fluttering prettily around her. "I was attacked by a troll, and he came to my rescue. He caught me from my fall."
"Oh," said Robert, not really quite sure what else he could come up with. Maybe there were toon couples who had more normal stories of meeting each other - working together, meeting through a mutual friend, hell, there were toon dating sites nowadays. But Robert had never managed to come across any of them. Saving someone from a troll probably wasn't the weirdest one that had ever happened, but it was certainly a new one for Robert. "Well, it's a good thing that he was around."
"Oh yes," sighed Giselle. A couple of small lovehearts popped into existence above her head. It took a moment for Robert to remember that they really were there, and that he did not need to rub his eyes or cut down on the caffeine.
Something poked Robert in the ankle. "Hey, mister, you just gonna stand around with that or are you gonna bring it through?"
Bewilderment taking over, Robert looked around at head-height, found no-one, then reminded himself that it was Toon Town and did another scan lower down. He just about caught sight of a blur of brown that ran over to Giselle and scooted at high speed up the belt of her dress and came to settle on her shoulder. Only as it stilled did he realise that it was the chipmunk who had been eyeballing him at the base of the tree.
It did so again. "What, are you going to make yourself useful or not?"
"Pip!" said the woman, slightly scolding. "That's no way to talk to guests. This is..." she trailed off, biting her lip, and tucked her hair back behind her ear. "I'm so sorry, I don't think that Edward mentioned your name. I'm Giselle."
"So he said," said Robert, not unkindly. There was something endearing about the young woman, and something magnetic as well. "I'm Robert Phillip."
She bowed her head, fluttering absurdly long eyelashes. "It's an honour to meet you, Robert. I hope that you'll find yourself comfortable here."
Before Robert could reassure her that her home was lovely, or protest that he was only supposed to be here for a few hours, shouting outside interrupted them. Something was slammed against the table, and both Narissa and Edward raised their voices at the same time.
"Hell," said Robert. He slid the tray back onto the nearest flat surface and all but ran back into the front room. Edward was on his feet, red-faced, while Narissa regarded him with narrowed eyes from her seat at the table.
"Please," Bill was saying. "Calm down. There's no need to shout." He had not stood up, knowing only too well that it tended to make the situation worse rather than better.
Taking a deep breath, Robert strode over and stepped in front of Edward, raising a hand gently. It dawned on him that Edward was some inches taller than him and certainly broader in the shoulders, though what that meant in toons was always somewhat questionable. "Please, Mr. Arendelle," he started.
"You cannot mean this, mother!" the young man declared, voice ringing off the walls and ceiling. "Giselle is my one true love, you cannot mean to suggest-"
A Meeting of Worlds {8/?}afterandalasiaSeptember 15 2014, 19:47:33 UTC
"That is all well and good, but I do not recall your father's will mentioning anything about one true love when it was being written out!"
Giselle caught hold of Edward's arm and tried to draw him back down to his chair, murmuring soothingly. Though he turned to give her a tender look, it did not seem to encourage him to cool his temper; rather, he drew himself up more and looked at his mother haughtily. "I will not leave her. I would rather give up my inheritance for her."
"Oh, really," said Narissa, and sensing that he had missed something Robert hurried round the table and leant down beside Bill.
"What did I just miss?" he hissed.
Bill proferred up the page in his hand. "Small print of old man Andalasia's will. Any marriage his son enters into must be recognisable in both the human and toon worlds."
"What do you think your father would say?"
Edward's dimpled chin quivered. "Mother, you should know what love is like."
"I do," cooed Narissa, snapping out of her anger as fast as turning off a light. "Of course I do. But you know how human law is..."
She left the suggestion dangling in the air. Taking the opportunity, Bill cleared his throat, and all three of the uncomfortably extended family turned to look at him. He held up a form. "We can begin the formalisation process with a legal registration, if you wish."
"What's registration?" said Giselle, looking innocently around.
Well, at least that gave them somewhere to start.
It took some effort. Not just the explanation, but simply getting Giselle to sign the forms; when it came to the toon ones she happily conversed with the talking quill, but with the human forms she was amazed even by the biro and sat clicking the top for some moments before Robert gently talked her into writing her name on the dotted line. She put little hearts above the 'i's.
Bill, meanwhile, had been in the kitchen trying to keep things to a disagreement, and not an argument, between Edward and his step-mother. Occasionally there would be a raised word or two, then it would be dragged back down to a rumble and Robert would stop looking cautiously across and get back to Giselle.
She sat very close to him on the sofa, so close that he could smell the scent around her. It had no musky undertones, just pure floral, like perfume that had not even been sprayed on human skin. Though he supposed that was, broadly speaking, true.
"So, these will get me a passport?" said Giselle. A stray flower petal drifted down from her hair, and Robert surreptitiously brushed it off his thigh. "And I can visit the human world?"
"Well, if you want to sign human marriage documents in the human world, yes. But this can be used as ID in front of an appropriate human representative to..." he trailed off as he realised that she was giving him her wide-eyed, uncertain look. "If you want to. But you don't have to. We can make an appointment in Toon Land."
"Oh, I'd love to see the human world," and there was her earnest expression again, melting into a smile as she reached out, took and squeezed Robert's hand. It was shockingly personable - and personal - for a client. The last woman that had spoken to him like this had definitely had been flirting, but Giselle was newly married and a stranger beside. "Edward has told me so many stories about it. We've been up all night talking!"
Having heard markedly more explicit things than this from his clients over the years, Robert kept a perfectly straight face and nodded mildly. "I'm sure it must be very interesting," he said.
She nodded. "Just last night, he was telling be about these magic mirrors that people can use to ask questions of a huge spider, and talk to each other!"
"Hu- oh, the web," said Robert, as realisation dawned. It tended to be the older toons who were particularly literal about things, but if Giselle had lived out in the depths of Toon Town then he supposed that it was hardly the strangest thing he could think of. "Computers. Yeah, they're common out in the human world. Pretty sure some toons have them nowadays as well, where they've got electricity."
A Meeting of Worlds {9/?}afterandalasiaSeptember 15 2014, 20:27:34 UTC
"Oh, yes, that's delivery by the electoons, isn't it?"
"Electrons," said Robert, and wondered whether it was the continued fierce debate leaking through from the kitchen, or the feeling that he was repeating Morgan's science homework, that made him feel like he was getting a headache.
Giselle nodded slowly. Her eyes flicked to the kitchen door, and her eyes grew saddened. "She doesn't like me, does she?" she said, so quietly that for a moment Robert was not at all sure that he had heard it.
He looked round. "Pardon?" But it was offhand, and as he looked round he could see pain flicker across her features. She twisted one hand in her skirt, pressing her knees together, and faint lines appeared between her eyebrows. Robert wasn't sure that he had ever seen a toon with lines before. Then again, he'd never seen a toon this closely before. "Sometimes it takes a bit of... getting used to, new things like this." He considered making a comparison to how protective he would get if Morgan got a boyfriend, but considering Morgan was eight and her definition of 'boyfriend' involved anyone that shared their chocolate bar with her at lunchtime. "I'm sure she just wants the best for him."
"I do love him," said Giselle.
He patted her hand awkwardly. "And I'm sure that she'll come to see that."
"Maybe I should spend some time in the real world," said Giselle, with a firmness that took him by surprise. An exclamation mark popped up over her head, and bounced off Robert's temple.
"Pardon?" he said again, this time in true bewilderment.
Giselle nodded, slowly at first and then more firmly. "Yes. I should spend some time in the human world. Then Narissa will like me more, and she won't object. Edward!" she sprang to her feet, leaving Robert to catch the paperwork and attempt to shuffle it back together. "Edward!"
Somehow, he doubted that this could possibly end well.
"I do try not to spend too much time in this place. My husband liked it more," she gave a sniff. "As does his son."
Their passes were handed back, and the gates rolled open to reveal the brightly-coloured, sharp-edged world beyond. Aside from one school trip when he had been a child, Robert had never actually been into Toon Town before, but he had not told Narissa that. Bill probably knew, from the way that he gave Robert a speculative look.
Then the chauffeur started up the car again, and they were off into the world of toons that Robert had managed to stay out of for so many years.
Notes:
"Harry" Andalasia's first name is taken from Harry Stockwell, who voiced the Prince in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937).
"Bill Holmes" is taken from Bill Thompson and Taylor Holmes, who voiced Kings Hubert and Stefan in Sleeping Beauty (1959).
Edward/Giselle will only be minor, the main focus of this fic will be the Giselle/Robert.
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Narissa remained moodily silent as they continued down the increasingly-uneven road, and Robert was thankful that he had never suffered from travel sickness as he went back to reading through the documents which had been hastily slipped into his briefcase. Harry Andalasia had been an odd guy even for a toon; his first wife had been a toon as well, but had died (no details given in the files) after the birth of their son Edward. Narissa was his second wife, and had promptly 'persuaded' her husband to start aligning his business of exporting toon materials to the human world with human laws. Fully, rather than the minimum requirements, and then there were notes that made Robert's eyes glaze over because those really weren't his speciality.
"I did try to persuade him to at least bring her to one of our properties closer to the gate," said Narissa archly, as the carriage bumped its way over the comically-rutted roads. "But no, he wants to keep playing happy families or whatever they're doing out there."
Robert caught Bill's eye and raised an eyebrow. An annulment on the grounds of non-consummation might be easy to argue compared to some of the other options that might be bought up. Provided, of course, that there hadn't been any... patty-cake going on. Things like that were harder to prove with toons, though. It would need both of them to swear or admit to it before the judge. They would have to wait until they could get a moment to discuss that option, though; for now, Robert returned to his reading and Bill to his small talk with Narissa, and they continued the journey into Toon Town.
The next that Robert looked up, it was because a small toon bluebird had not just flown into the carriage, but crapped all over the sheet he was trying to read. Looking up, he tried to wave the bird out, only for it to turn and fix beady eyes on him.
"You watch where you're flapping your hands, Mister!" it snapped.
Of course the bluebirds spoke. While Robert was still looking bewildered, Narissa reached over and smacked the bird so hard that it shot out of the window on the other side of the carriage. "Vermin," she said flatly. Craning her neck to look out of the window, she added: "Ah, how appropriate. We're here."
The carriage rattled to a halt, and it occurred to Robert that if it hadn't felt painful for the last few miles that was probably because his ass had come to sleep. He almost fell down the steps of the carriage, just about catching himself, while Bill managed to hop down lightly and Narissa climbed down with an air of vague resentment.
It was... a treehouse. Not the sort of treehouse that Robert had ever seen before, however; the tree that held it had to be twenty feet across and eighty feet tall, and a full-sized cottage was perched in the branches about fifteen feet up. Only in Toon Town.
A toon woman leant out of the front window of the cottage, red hair spilling around her shoulders, and waved before vanishing back in again. "Edward!" she called, somewhere out of view. "Edward, there are visitors here!"
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"Marvellous," she said. Robert found himself rather close to agreeing with her. Before any of them could set foot on the ladder, however, the young man came sliding down and wrapped Narissa in a hug made enormous by his huge puffy shoulders and swirling cape. Narissa patted him on the shoulder. "Hello, Edward."
"Mother!" declared the young man. He was only about the same height as Robert, but somehow seemed far larger, filling up the forest with his enthusiasm. "I'm so glad that you came! Nathaniel delivered my message, then?"
"Yes, dear," said Narissa, sounding none too enthusiastic.
Edward finally released her and stepped back, putting his gloved hands on his hips. Harry Andalasia's son from his first marriage, he didn't much resemble his father, but from what Robert had gathered that was not all that uncommon among toons. "And you have bought these gentlemen with you! Pray, introduce us!"
Once again, the two lawyers exchanged glances. Robert, at least, had been under the impression that Edward knew they were coming to straighten things out. Another mark in the column for evidence that Narissa wanted to stop this marriage from existing.
"Edward," she said, "this is Mr. Phillip, and Mr. Holmes. I invited them along to talk over a few issues. Mr. Phillip, Mr. Holmes, this is my son Edward."
The next thing that Robert knew, his hand was taken in an iron grip and shaken firmly. The texture of Edward's gloves was a little like leather, but more even, without any of the irregularities or folds that would be in human gloves. "Grand to meet you!" Edward declared, before doing the same to Bill. To judge by Bill's face, he hadn't been expecting that tight of a grip either. "And you also, sir! Come, enter our humble abode!"
Robert half-suspected that exclamation marks were going to start popping out of thin air, but no, there were only some trilling songbirds in the trees and a chipmunk with a suspicious expression sitting on one of the rungs of the ladder just above head-height. Wondering where exactly this had been in his job description, he watched Edward bound up the ladder, took his briefcase in hand, and followed as Bill waved him on ahead.
Frankly, he could only hope this was going to be the strangest case of his career. The thought of something stranger was frankly troubling at this point.
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Though her hands were clutched in Edward's, Giselle was looking at them in amazement. She was pretty, young - so far as Robert could judge with toons - with a flower crown delicately unwinding through her hair and wearing a floaty pink dress. Her feet were bare beneath it.
"Giselle, this is my mother Narissa, and these gentlemen are acquaintances of hers." Beaming, he steered Giselle towards his mother. She blushed, a pretty pink that bloomed only on her cheeks, and looked up at her new husband before turning to his mother and dropping something of a curtsey. Robert couldn't say that it was the best he had ever seen.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am," she said earnestly.
Narissa eyed the girl up and down with such a tangible disdain that it made Robert want to cringe. He couldn't tell whether or not Giselle was aware of the scorn in that gaze; if she was, she had impressive poise to ignore it so. "Charmed, I'm sure."
"Oh! Tea," said Giselle, putting her hands to her mouth, blue eyes going wide. "I am so sorry that I forgot. I'll get us some refreshments immediately."
"Of course, my darling," said Edward, as Giselle slipped from his hands and through the doorway behind them. "Come, be seated!"
He waved his arm around the room. It was as if someone had plucked a cottage from the ground. And possibly the eighteenth century. Open stairs curved off at the back of the circular room, and bubble-like windows with seats beneath them made up a significant part of one wall. The wooden beams that structured the outside of the building were evident here as well, though many of them had a flowing branchness about them that they had to be the actual tree itself, uncut and possibly even still alive. An oval wooden table dominated the rest of the room, standing on a furry rug which Robert didn't really want to think too hard about, and six chairs around it.
"Thanks," said Bill, not hesitating to take one of the chairs. Its legs bowed comically beneath him.
Robert hastily took the seat next to his colleague, gritting his teeth at the creaking sound it automatically gave and at the heart shapes carved into the back. The cushion was absurdly soft, and gave the impression that it was moulding itself to his buttocks as he set his briefcase on the floor beside him. At the head of the table, Narissa allowed Edward to pull out her seat for her and then tuck it back in afterwards, before producing another cigarette from her seemingly endless supply.
"So, mother, to what do I owe the presence of your friends?" said Edward. That was half a declaration as well.
Narissa rolled her eyes. "Edward, these gentlemen are not my friends; they are from a law firm and are here on business."
"Oh." Edward looked slightly deflated, a puzzled pout coming over his features.
"If you will kindly take a seat," she added, gesturing with her cigarette and spilling ash on the floor, where mercifully it did not set the whole building alight. "And where is that girl?"
"My wife Giselle, my one-"
"Yes, yes," said Narissa irritably. She cast her eyes over to the lawyers. "Would one of you gentlemen be kind enough to go and fetch her. I clearly need to explain a few things to my step-son."
Exchanging another glance with Bill, Robert decided in about one heartbeat that he would rather talk to the girl than sit and see whatever things were about to be explained to Edward Arendelle. Muttering something indistinct, he got to his feet and slipped in the direction of the kitchen, ignoring the chair sproinging back into place behind him. Bill cleared his throat and tried to start things off politely as Robert stepped through the doorway.
"I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss," the girl was singing to herself. "And a prince I'm hoping comes with this... oh!"
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Her eyes met with his, wide and a shade of blue he had never seen on a human. Toon blue, he supposed. Her hands did not quite feel like the other, inanimate toon surfaces he had touched before; they were as warm as a human's, but far softer, bone structure delicate underneath.
Drawing in a shocked breath, Giselle snatched her hands away, leaving Robert holding the tea. "Sorry," she said, with a breathless smile. "I didn't realise you were there."
"You were... singing," he said, faintly aware that it was a nonsensical thing to linger on. It made Giselle blush again, though, and nod. "Well, that's... nice. How did you and Edward meet?"
In a moment the blush faded, and Giselle's face lit up with a smile so bright he half-expected it to sparkle. "Isn't he wonderful?" She clasped her hands together and twirled on the spot, skirt fluttering prettily around her. "I was attacked by a troll, and he came to my rescue. He caught me from my fall."
"Oh," said Robert, not really quite sure what else he could come up with. Maybe there were toon couples who had more normal stories of meeting each other - working together, meeting through a mutual friend, hell, there were toon dating sites nowadays. But Robert had never managed to come across any of them. Saving someone from a troll probably wasn't the weirdest one that had ever happened, but it was certainly a new one for Robert. "Well, it's a good thing that he was around."
"Oh yes," sighed Giselle. A couple of small lovehearts popped into existence above her head. It took a moment for Robert to remember that they really were there, and that he did not need to rub his eyes or cut down on the caffeine.
Something poked Robert in the ankle. "Hey, mister, you just gonna stand around with that or are you gonna bring it through?"
Bewilderment taking over, Robert looked around at head-height, found no-one, then reminded himself that it was Toon Town and did another scan lower down. He just about caught sight of a blur of brown that ran over to Giselle and scooted at high speed up the belt of her dress and came to settle on her shoulder. Only as it stilled did he realise that it was the chipmunk who had been eyeballing him at the base of the tree.
It did so again. "What, are you going to make yourself useful or not?"
"Pip!" said the woman, slightly scolding. "That's no way to talk to guests. This is..." she trailed off, biting her lip, and tucked her hair back behind her ear. "I'm so sorry, I don't think that Edward mentioned your name. I'm Giselle."
"So he said," said Robert, not unkindly. There was something endearing about the young woman, and something magnetic as well. "I'm Robert Phillip."
She bowed her head, fluttering absurdly long eyelashes. "It's an honour to meet you, Robert. I hope that you'll find yourself comfortable here."
Before Robert could reassure her that her home was lovely, or protest that he was only supposed to be here for a few hours, shouting outside interrupted them. Something was slammed against the table, and both Narissa and Edward raised their voices at the same time.
"Hell," said Robert. He slid the tray back onto the nearest flat surface and all but ran back into the front room. Edward was on his feet, red-faced, while Narissa regarded him with narrowed eyes from her seat at the table.
"Please," Bill was saying. "Calm down. There's no need to shout." He had not stood up, knowing only too well that it tended to make the situation worse rather than better.
Taking a deep breath, Robert strode over and stepped in front of Edward, raising a hand gently. It dawned on him that Edward was some inches taller than him and certainly broader in the shoulders, though what that meant in toons was always somewhat questionable. "Please, Mr. Arendelle," he started.
"You cannot mean this, mother!" the young man declared, voice ringing off the walls and ceiling. "Giselle is my one true love, you cannot mean to suggest-"
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Giselle caught hold of Edward's arm and tried to draw him back down to his chair, murmuring soothingly. Though he turned to give her a tender look, it did not seem to encourage him to cool his temper; rather, he drew himself up more and looked at his mother haughtily. "I will not leave her. I would rather give up my inheritance for her."
"Oh, really," said Narissa, and sensing that he had missed something Robert hurried round the table and leant down beside Bill.
"What did I just miss?" he hissed.
Bill proferred up the page in his hand. "Small print of old man Andalasia's will. Any marriage his son enters into must be recognisable in both the human and toon worlds."
"What do you think your father would say?"
Edward's dimpled chin quivered. "Mother, you should know what love is like."
"I do," cooed Narissa, snapping out of her anger as fast as turning off a light. "Of course I do. But you know how human law is..."
She left the suggestion dangling in the air. Taking the opportunity, Bill cleared his throat, and all three of the uncomfortably extended family turned to look at him. He held up a form. "We can begin the formalisation process with a legal registration, if you wish."
"What's registration?" said Giselle, looking innocently around.
Well, at least that gave them somewhere to start.
It took some effort. Not just the explanation, but simply getting Giselle to sign the forms; when it came to the toon ones she happily conversed with the talking quill, but with the human forms she was amazed even by the biro and sat clicking the top for some moments before Robert gently talked her into writing her name on the dotted line. She put little hearts above the 'i's.
Bill, meanwhile, had been in the kitchen trying to keep things to a disagreement, and not an argument, between Edward and his step-mother. Occasionally there would be a raised word or two, then it would be dragged back down to a rumble and Robert would stop looking cautiously across and get back to Giselle.
She sat very close to him on the sofa, so close that he could smell the scent around her. It had no musky undertones, just pure floral, like perfume that had not even been sprayed on human skin. Though he supposed that was, broadly speaking, true.
"So, these will get me a passport?" said Giselle. A stray flower petal drifted down from her hair, and Robert surreptitiously brushed it off his thigh. "And I can visit the human world?"
"Well, if you want to sign human marriage documents in the human world, yes. But this can be used as ID in front of an appropriate human representative to..." he trailed off as he realised that she was giving him her wide-eyed, uncertain look. "If you want to. But you don't have to. We can make an appointment in Toon Land."
"Oh, I'd love to see the human world," and there was her earnest expression again, melting into a smile as she reached out, took and squeezed Robert's hand. It was shockingly personable - and personal - for a client. The last woman that had spoken to him like this had definitely had been flirting, but Giselle was newly married and a stranger beside. "Edward has told me so many stories about it. We've been up all night talking!"
Having heard markedly more explicit things than this from his clients over the years, Robert kept a perfectly straight face and nodded mildly. "I'm sure it must be very interesting," he said.
She nodded. "Just last night, he was telling be about these magic mirrors that people can use to ask questions of a huge spider, and talk to each other!"
"Hu- oh, the web," said Robert, as realisation dawned. It tended to be the older toons who were particularly literal about things, but if Giselle had lived out in the depths of Toon Town then he supposed that it was hardly the strangest thing he could think of. "Computers. Yeah, they're common out in the human world. Pretty sure some toons have them nowadays as well, where they've got electricity."
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"Electrons," said Robert, and wondered whether it was the continued fierce debate leaking through from the kitchen, or the feeling that he was repeating Morgan's science homework, that made him feel like he was getting a headache.
Giselle nodded slowly. Her eyes flicked to the kitchen door, and her eyes grew saddened. "She doesn't like me, does she?" she said, so quietly that for a moment Robert was not at all sure that he had heard it.
He looked round. "Pardon?" But it was offhand, and as he looked round he could see pain flicker across her features. She twisted one hand in her skirt, pressing her knees together, and faint lines appeared between her eyebrows. Robert wasn't sure that he had ever seen a toon with lines before. Then again, he'd never seen a toon this closely before. "Sometimes it takes a bit of... getting used to, new things like this." He considered making a comparison to how protective he would get if Morgan got a boyfriend, but considering Morgan was eight and her definition of 'boyfriend' involved anyone that shared their chocolate bar with her at lunchtime. "I'm sure she just wants the best for him."
"I do love him," said Giselle.
He patted her hand awkwardly. "And I'm sure that she'll come to see that."
"Maybe I should spend some time in the real world," said Giselle, with a firmness that took him by surprise. An exclamation mark popped up over her head, and bounced off Robert's temple.
"Pardon?" he said again, this time in true bewilderment.
Giselle nodded, slowly at first and then more firmly. "Yes. I should spend some time in the human world. Then Narissa will like me more, and she won't object. Edward!" she sprang to her feet, leaving Robert to catch the paperwork and attempt to shuffle it back together. "Edward!"
Somehow, he doubted that this could possibly end well.
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