It Shouldn’t Worry You
anonymous
August 11 2012, 04:19:59 UTC
Even before the llama debacle, he had noticed it. His court could have sent every unattached woman in the world to him and he would have said “No” to all of them. He had rejected at least thirty candidates, according to the fumbling marital advisor under employment in the palace, before he had turned into a llama. Or rather, to use a more concrete frame of reference, before Yzma had been fired. And after that time, he had to see more of these candidates, more of these available women from the kingdom and beyond. And he was tired of it. It was a waste of his time!
Whenever that guy sent him a couple of girls to check out, all he could think was, “Ugh. Really? I don’t want to! This always ends the same way!”
Not that the girls were horrible or anything. The ones that he actually spent some time with (and he figured, he should try to make an effort with this), they seemed like nice women, who would probably be a lovely wife and/or mother to someone in the future. They were sweet or funny or nice or attractive in some matter, but… he did not want them.
He realized that while the women were objectively beautiful and that they were perfect for a ruler, he was not interested in them in a sexual way. Like, he did not want to see a woman- any of these women, really, naked… or have sex with one.
He would rather see another man naked. As well as have sex with one.
He would rather have a male lover than a wife.
But, just because he knew how he felt, in regards to what gender he preferred to have, did not mean that it was something that he did not experience any negative thoughts about it.
He was worried about it. To distraction. In particular, he had to request that the marital advisor guy stop sending him these candidates for a while as a result. He just told the guy, “I don’t want to see any of them, right now? Reschedule or cancel all of the appointments for like, a later date. Okay? Okay.” And did not explain why.
He needed to talk about it with someone. But not someone in his court. They were not his friends. They were not somebody that he wanted to confide in.
So, he just gave an excuse to the palace employees that he was going to his vacation home in the village and went to see Pacha.
And there he was, wrapped (at Chicha’s suggestion) in a crocheted alpaca wool garment that Chicha had made sitting next to Pacha, trying not to mess up the delicately made stitches of the garment, not sure how to begin talking.
“Is everything okay, Kuzco?” Pacha asked.
Kuzco shrugged, though you probably could not see it because of the garment he was wearing and how he was wrapped in it.
“I… uh,” Kuzco began.
“Yes?” Pacha asked.
Kuzco would have liked to be a llama again. At least he might not have had to worry about this or think about it.
“Marital advisor guy keeps sending me girl after girl… and I’m just not into them,” Kuzco said.
Pacha nodded.
“Maybe you’ll eventually find a girl you are into,” Pacha said.
“I... uh, I’m not really sure that will happen.”
Kuzco looked away and played with the garment, glad that it was wrapped around him, making him feel safe.
“Uh… how do I word this…?” Kuzco said, quietly to himself. He then turned to Pacha again after a moment, and Pacha motioned from him to speak. “I… don’t want a woman.”
He paused again.
“So… what do you want?” Pacha asked during the silence.
“I, uh, I want, be with, uh, a man, men, instead,” Kuzco said, finding himself stumbling over words. “I want men.”
Pacha nodded.
Kuzco covered his head in the garment, hiding his face mostly, feeling awkward and embarrassed.
Whenever that guy sent him a couple of girls to check out, all he could think was, “Ugh. Really? I don’t want to! This always ends the same way!”
Not that the girls were horrible or anything. The ones that he actually spent some time with (and he figured, he should try to make an effort with this), they seemed like nice women, who would probably be a lovely wife and/or mother to someone in the future. They were sweet or funny or nice or attractive in some matter, but… he did not want them.
He realized that while the women were objectively beautiful and that they were perfect for a ruler, he was not interested in them in a sexual way. Like, he did not want to see a woman- any of these women, really, naked… or have sex with one.
He would rather see another man naked. As well as have sex with one.
He would rather have a male lover than a wife.
But, just because he knew how he felt, in regards to what gender he preferred to have, did not mean that it was something that he did not experience any negative thoughts about it.
He was worried about it. To distraction. In particular, he had to request that the marital advisor guy stop sending him these candidates for a while as a result. He just told the guy, “I don’t want to see any of them, right now? Reschedule or cancel all of the appointments for like, a later date. Okay? Okay.” And did not explain why.
He needed to talk about it with someone. But not someone in his court. They were not his friends. They were not somebody that he wanted to confide in.
So, he just gave an excuse to the palace employees that he was going to his vacation home in the village and went to see Pacha.
And there he was, wrapped (at Chicha’s suggestion) in a crocheted alpaca wool garment that Chicha had made sitting next to Pacha, trying not to mess up the delicately made stitches of the garment, not sure how to begin talking.
“Is everything okay, Kuzco?” Pacha asked.
Kuzco shrugged, though you probably could not see it because of the garment he was wearing and how he was wrapped in it.
“I… uh,” Kuzco began.
“Yes?” Pacha asked.
Kuzco would have liked to be a llama again. At least he might not have had to worry about this or think about it.
“Marital advisor guy keeps sending me girl after girl… and I’m just not into them,” Kuzco said.
Pacha nodded.
“Maybe you’ll eventually find a girl you are into,” Pacha said.
“I... uh, I’m not really sure that will happen.”
Kuzco looked away and played with the garment, glad that it was wrapped around him, making him feel safe.
“Uh… how do I word this…?” Kuzco said, quietly to himself. He then turned to Pacha again after a moment, and Pacha motioned from him to speak. “I… don’t want a woman.”
He paused again.
“So… what do you want?” Pacha asked during the silence.
“I, uh, I want, be with, uh, a man, men, instead,” Kuzco said, finding himself stumbling over words. “I want men.”
Pacha nodded.
Kuzco covered his head in the garment, hiding his face mostly, feeling awkward and embarrassed.
“Has this been worrying you?” Pacha asked.
“Mmm-hmm,” Kuzco said.
“It shouldn’t.”
Reply
Leave a comment