Egocentricity
anonymous
August 15 2010, 23:14:58 UTC
This is short and not exactly what you requested, but to be fair I was initially just going to reply with ‘OMG seconded!’ but fuck it Narcissist!Kuzco cannot be denied.
Egocentricity-
The problem with being the most uniquely and supremely perfect person in the entirety of the world was that everyone else was not.
And while all the peons and lackeys and filth were just about worthy to feed him grapes and fan him and sing songs about his greatness and beg him to consider their problems, Kuzco just couldn’t find a single person worth of taking care of his more personal needs. It wasn’t for lack of trying either. Once he arrived at the age where such things become pressing he had summoned his messengers and informed them that he was now (to what was surely the ecstasy of every woman, man, and child on the awakened earth) looking for someone to satisfy him. He had the finest examples of aristocracy imported from every edge of his kingdom and even from beyond the waters. When they arrived they were summarily rejected, one by one until not a duchess or countess or princess or half sister of someone whose mother probably slept with a disgraced prince once or twice remained. Not a bit discouraged, Kuzco sent out for the nouveau riche. And once that well was tapped to its limit he moved on, now perhaps a bit discouraged, to the peasants. At the very least they were plentiful. But every face he scrutinized, every hand he touched, every word out of them, weather they originated from the poorest hovel or the most luxurious castle, grated on his nerves so thoroughly that he couldn’t stand being in their presence longer than a few seconds. So the search continued.
But there was only so much a man could take, even if he was the most elegant, handsome, generous, perfect, and most of all humble emperor his kingdom has the honor of being ruled by in a thousand years. And so he was forced to acknowledge the wisdom of the phrase so beloved by exasperated leaders and tired mothers and passive aggressive authorities the world over.
If you wanted something done well, you had to do it yourself.
And so Kuzco found himself, night after night, week after week, taking into his own hands a task which no one else had yet to be found worthy of. He could have found it awkward, and at first he did, but he just had to remind himself that he was rather fortunate to get to give himself a handjob. After all, who wouldn’t be honored to be in his position? Who wouldn’t give up their firstborn child to service the grand emperor Kuzco the way he was permitted to every night? He was a lucky guy. And he liked to remind himself of that fact.
“Oh you are good.” He moaned, his fist pumping furiously up and down, the muscles of his abdomen tensing. “You are soooo gooood. And your hair. Is. Fabulous.” He continued, groaning out the last word “Not to m-mention your sense of styyyle… Ung… you are a gro-o-vy dude my man. A groovy dude.” He sped up the pace of his movements, throwing his head back, arching his back, rambling “And- and you are doing such a great job handling the peasant revolts in the southern mountains you stud! Not to- ah- not to mention that divine new summer house you’re planning... mmm… s-solid gold water slide was a g-good addition. You are just. So. Awesome.” He was close. So very close. “S-s-soooo veeeery Awesooooome” He moaned before reaching his peak, releasing his seed all over the leopard fur mattress of his bed. He panted shakily, slowly coming down from his ecstasy, muscles unknotting, grin wide and blindingly white.
Re: Egocentricity
anonymous
September 14 2010, 13:04:23 UTC
On this meme I did the Ariel sleeps with everyone fic. Plus I have a fanfiction and account that I'll link to once I finish the Wall E AU and post it there
Re: Egocentricity
anonymous
September 17 2010, 22:20:12 UTC
Not to sound pathetic but that's probably the best compliment I've ever gotten. Also I forgot that I did the AlphaDug and Nancy debauching Edward prompts. You know you've spent too much time on kinkmemes when you don't even remember what you've filled.
Egocentricity-
The problem with being the most uniquely and supremely perfect person in the entirety of the world was that everyone else was not.
And while all the peons and lackeys and filth were just about worthy to feed him grapes and fan him and sing songs about his greatness and beg him to consider their problems, Kuzco just couldn’t find a single person worth of taking care of his more personal needs. It wasn’t for lack of trying either. Once he arrived at the age where such things become pressing he had summoned his messengers and informed them that he was now (to what was surely the ecstasy of every woman, man, and child on the awakened earth) looking for someone to satisfy him. He had the finest examples of aristocracy imported from every edge of his kingdom and even from beyond the waters. When they arrived they were summarily rejected, one by one until not a duchess or countess or princess or half sister of someone whose mother probably slept with a disgraced prince once or twice remained. Not a bit discouraged, Kuzco sent out for the nouveau riche. And once that well was tapped to its limit he moved on, now perhaps a bit discouraged, to the peasants. At the very least they were plentiful. But every face he scrutinized, every hand he touched, every word out of them, weather they originated from the poorest hovel or the most luxurious castle, grated on his nerves so thoroughly that he couldn’t stand being in their presence longer than a few seconds. So the search continued.
But there was only so much a man could take, even if he was the most elegant, handsome, generous, perfect, and most of all humble emperor his kingdom has the honor of being ruled by in a thousand years. And so he was forced to acknowledge the wisdom of the phrase so beloved by exasperated leaders and tired mothers and passive aggressive authorities the world over.
If you wanted something done well, you had to do it yourself.
And so Kuzco found himself, night after night, week after week, taking into his own hands a task which no one else had yet to be found worthy of. He could have found it awkward, and at first he did, but he just had to remind himself that he was rather fortunate to get to give himself a handjob. After all, who wouldn’t be honored to be in his position? Who wouldn’t give up their firstborn child to service the grand emperor Kuzco the way he was permitted to every night? He was a lucky guy. And he liked to remind himself of that fact.
“Oh you are good.” He moaned, his fist pumping furiously up and down, the muscles of his abdomen tensing. “You are soooo gooood. And your hair. Is. Fabulous.” He continued, groaning out the last word “Not to m-mention your sense of styyyle… Ung… you are a gro-o-vy dude my man. A groovy dude.” He sped up the pace of his movements, throwing his head back, arching his back, rambling “And- and you are doing such a great job handling the peasant revolts in the southern mountains you stud! Not to- ah- not to mention that divine new summer house you’re planning... mmm… s-solid gold water slide was a g-good addition. You are just. So. Awesome.” He was close. So very close. “S-s-soooo veeeery Awesooooome” He moaned before reaching his peak, releasing his seed all over the leopard fur mattress of his bed. He panted shakily, slowly coming down from his ecstasy, muscles unknotting, grin wide and blindingly white.
Why does he want a lover again?
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Thank you so much!!
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dudeareyoustalkingmebecauseIalsowrotethatfirstWallyEHighSchoolAU
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