The dilly yo.
Well, I know it's been a while since I've seriously updated on the goings on of my life as of late. There have been things to report, I just seem to not have the energy to... write about them.
As many of you probably already know, a few weeks ago Jason and I got kicked out of his mother's house. It was a horrible day, filled with many dirty words, and me packing our entire lot of things in a few hours. dennis came to the rescue, and we've been with him since. Of course, this isn't the ideal situation, but he's helped us out so much.
Diane apologized to Jason and I tearfully, completely blaming herself for the whole ordeal (which is completely accurate) and begging us to come back until we found a place of our own. Our response? "You're forgiven, but.. no. We're not coming back."
Of course, in my opinion, I'm still not... in forgive and forget mode. I do not trust her to be a stable individual, and never will. and I told jason, I don't care if I have to live in his car. I will not go back there.
For now, though, things are pretty damn nice at Dennis'. We had originially planned to move in with him anyways (although we were planning on being able to PAY for some things, but.. eh) But now we're planning to find our own place, and start over, which is what the two of us desperately need. we need to fix us, and learn to live together alone again.
But like I said, for now, things have been great.
Yesterday was our 1st wedding anniversary, markinig also our 3rd year of being a couple. (yes, we got married on our anniversary.) It has been a very, very hard year. But, all things considered, and what we've been through, I think we're both lucky to be alive, and still together. We've been through 2 hurricanes, 4 moves, a month long hospital stay, surgeries, and general issues. So all things considered? I think it's as good as it could have been expected.
What matters is we're trying, and enjoying eachother again.
Yesterday we went out to a hibachi resteraunt and had a great time. Then relaxed at home, and just -chilled-.
Things aren't perfect, but they're 10000000X better than they were.
The hardest part of the whole not living at Diane's house anymore is simply, being seperated from our new comfortable bed, and our babies. The cat misses us, but since we've only had her a month or so, she's okay. Gwin on the other hand, is in stitches when we come to visit, and cries when we leave. I miss my baby girls.
In other news -
I am still not able to find a job, which is causing a lot of tension and a lot of frustration. on my part, and jason's. Ticketmaster turned me down again after a year and a half of faithful service because of.. well.. that's a long story. It's a huge HR issue.
My good buddy Roadblock is trying to get me a job at the One Stop he works at, but that information is slow coming, and really, I'm getting impatient. It's not his fault, his damn manager won't hurry up and let me know anything.
ARGH >_< Frustration.
This delay is holding back a lot of important events.
1)Getting our own place which includes
a) having our babies back
b) getting my own net connection so I don't have to be an unpredictable burden on my RP group
2) Getting a CAR again
3) Getting everything in order so I can go TO FUCKING SCHOOL.
I really, really want to go to school. I'm tired of this.. stupid, stupid job nonsense. But most importantly, I want to go for me. Because I want to learn.
Also to top it all off, I have no means of communication with the outside world because I do not have a phone. Only the net. Dennis' phone is his work cell, so that's rarely avalable.
There have however been many good times, much drunkenness, and many good memories made, even in the short time that we've been here. Times with Kelli, Kim, Sherry, Dennis, and Mike have been golden. There are some friends who I will leave un-named that seem to not care to be around us that much anymore, and... well... I miss said person, but that's his beef.
If you want to talk to me, fucking IM me. Ask if you can come over. Quit being a puss because you have things to do the next day. So you have morning obligations. So does the rest of the world. The only other thing you do is sleep your life away.
Will you like me again if I go to school?
Other immenent projects include my good buddy Roadblock is going to teach me how to play my bass, which i am THRILLED about.
Been going out a lot lately. Spending time with people. Spending time at the Sound factory. Good times, noodle salad.
The unpredictableness of my time schedule/being at other people's mercy is starting to wear thin on me with my RP boys and Changeling. I have such a passion to play this game, but it's hard for me to pinpoint an exact time and day I can freely be online for 5 hours. This subject litereally had me in stitches early this morning and I was on the verge of tears. I don't want to let anyone down. I feel like I have something to prove - to prove to them that I'm a brilliant writer, and that I am committed to their group. But... while they say they understand my situation.. there is no way any of them can know what I go through each day. I don't tell them. I don't LIKE TO BURDEN PEOPLE. I don't liek to think I'm holding them back. I don't like things to hinge on me. I want to step up, and show what I can do. No matter what they say, I'm the newbie. They haven't known me for years and years. They don't chat with me on the phone. They don't tell me about their personal lives. (Even people/person I AM close to, I feel drifting away a bit, and this... makes me ill at ease.) Yes, I do have something to prove. this is my first big campaign with them. I have to shine.
But we can't even get started because of me.
As someone said... I am the "weakest link right now."
I hate that. I hate that with every ounce of my being.
I don't know. I think I am stressed far too much. I think I have so much going on that my emotions are all out of whack.
I think I have rambled long enough. I don't know if half of you will even make it to the bottom of this.
ANYWAY. I am, however, in a good mood. I have a glass of wine, and I'm going out with Dennis, Kim, Kelli, Kim's sister, Sherry, and Maria to a gay bar tonight! This will prove to be fun, since lesbians love me. Although, hey. I admit. I do like the ladies too. hehe.
Jason has to work, although I don't thinkk he's too... torn up about not being able to go.
Until next time.
xoxo
-D
As many of you probably already know, a few weeks ago Jason and I got kicked out of his mother's house. It was a horrible day, filled with many dirty words, and me packing our entire lot of things in a few hours. dennis came to the rescue, and we've been with him since. Of course, this isn't the ideal situation, but he's helped us out so much.
Diane apologized to Jason and I tearfully, completely blaming herself for the whole ordeal (which is completely accurate) and begging us to come back until we found a place of our own. Our response? "You're forgiven, but.. no. We're not coming back."
Of course, in my opinion, I'm still not... in forgive and forget mode. I do not trust her to be a stable individual, and never will. and I told jason, I don't care if I have to live in his car. I will not go back there.
For now, though, things are pretty damn nice at Dennis'. We had originially planned to move in with him anyways (although we were planning on being able to PAY for some things, but.. eh) But now we're planning to find our own place, and start over, which is what the two of us desperately need. we need to fix us, and learn to live together alone again.
But like I said, for now, things have been great.
Yesterday was our 1st wedding anniversary, markinig also our 3rd year of being a couple. (yes, we got married on our anniversary.) It has been a very, very hard year. But, all things considered, and what we've been through, I think we're both lucky to be alive, and still together. We've been through 2 hurricanes, 4 moves, a month long hospital stay, surgeries, and general issues. So all things considered? I think it's as good as it could have been expected.
What matters is we're trying, and enjoying eachother again.
Yesterday we went out to a hibachi resteraunt and had a great time. Then relaxed at home, and just -chilled-.
Things aren't perfect, but they're 10000000X better than they were.
The hardest part of the whole not living at Diane's house anymore is simply, being seperated from our new comfortable bed, and our babies. The cat misses us, but since we've only had her a month or so, she's okay. Gwin on the other hand, is in stitches when we come to visit, and cries when we leave. I miss my baby girls.
In other news -
I am still not able to find a job, which is causing a lot of tension and a lot of frustration. on my part, and jason's. Ticketmaster turned me down again after a year and a half of faithful service because of.. well.. that's a long story. It's a huge HR issue.
My good buddy Roadblock is trying to get me a job at the One Stop he works at, but that information is slow coming, and really, I'm getting impatient. It's not his fault, his damn manager won't hurry up and let me know anything.
ARGH >_< Frustration.
This delay is holding back a lot of important events.
1)Getting our own place which includes
a) having our babies back
b) getting my own net connection so I don't have to be an unpredictable burden on my RP group
2) Getting a CAR again
3) Getting everything in order so I can go TO FUCKING SCHOOL.
I really, really want to go to school. I'm tired of this.. stupid, stupid job nonsense. But most importantly, I want to go for me. Because I want to learn.
Also to top it all off, I have no means of communication with the outside world because I do not have a phone. Only the net. Dennis' phone is his work cell, so that's rarely avalable.
There have however been many good times, much drunkenness, and many good memories made, even in the short time that we've been here. Times with Kelli, Kim, Sherry, Dennis, and Mike have been golden. There are some friends who I will leave un-named that seem to not care to be around us that much anymore, and... well... I miss said person, but that's his beef.
If you want to talk to me, fucking IM me. Ask if you can come over. Quit being a puss because you have things to do the next day. So you have morning obligations. So does the rest of the world. The only other thing you do is sleep your life away.
Will you like me again if I go to school?
Other immenent projects include my good buddy Roadblock is going to teach me how to play my bass, which i am THRILLED about.
Been going out a lot lately. Spending time with people. Spending time at the Sound factory. Good times, noodle salad.
The unpredictableness of my time schedule/being at other people's mercy is starting to wear thin on me with my RP boys and Changeling. I have such a passion to play this game, but it's hard for me to pinpoint an exact time and day I can freely be online for 5 hours. This subject litereally had me in stitches early this morning and I was on the verge of tears. I don't want to let anyone down. I feel like I have something to prove - to prove to them that I'm a brilliant writer, and that I am committed to their group. But... while they say they understand my situation.. there is no way any of them can know what I go through each day. I don't tell them. I don't LIKE TO BURDEN PEOPLE. I don't liek to think I'm holding them back. I don't like things to hinge on me. I want to step up, and show what I can do. No matter what they say, I'm the newbie. They haven't known me for years and years. They don't chat with me on the phone. They don't tell me about their personal lives. (Even people/person I AM close to, I feel drifting away a bit, and this... makes me ill at ease.) Yes, I do have something to prove. this is my first big campaign with them. I have to shine.
But we can't even get started because of me.
As someone said... I am the "weakest link right now."
I hate that. I hate that with every ounce of my being.
I don't know. I think I am stressed far too much. I think I have so much going on that my emotions are all out of whack.
I think I have rambled long enough. I don't know if half of you will even make it to the bottom of this.
ANYWAY. I am, however, in a good mood. I have a glass of wine, and I'm going out with Dennis, Kim, Kelli, Kim's sister, Sherry, and Maria to a gay bar tonight! This will prove to be fun, since lesbians love me. Although, hey. I admit. I do like the ladies too. hehe.
Jason has to work, although I don't thinkk he's too... torn up about not being able to go.
Until next time.
xoxo
-D