Feminism and Masulinism
Last month Brigid made a post on her blog about feminism that drew a lot of replies.
Last week, we were discussing Abby Sunderland at work, and the general consensus (all except me and one other guy) was that her parents shouldn't have let her try to sail around the world. I then made the comment "You know, if this was a boy doing this, no one would even be making a big deal about it.", which was then followed by a few minutes of uncomfortable silence (although a few did nod in agreement) and then everyone went back to arguing and pretending that I didn't say anything. By the way everyone reacted, you'd think I just mentioned that I liked to torture babies on the weekends.
All this is to say that I've recently discovered there's some sort of hidden war of the sexes that seems to be brewing on the Internet between the feminists and (for lack of a better word) the masculinists. I had no idea this conflict was going on, so it was a bit like going down to your basement to discover the mice were having an all out war against the roaches. What's plain is that there's a lot of outrage, hyperbole, and indignation from all around. Admittedly, I've only mostly read things from the male side such as http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html, and I'm mostly ignorant of the feminist side of the argument aside from what I've heard from TV.
To me, some of the argument do have merit, especially the part about young men having no positive male role-models anymore. When I was younger I read books by Robert Bly like "Iron John" and "The Sibling Society" which talk about the Jungians archetypal male figures, so I understand how shocking it is that modern media has no positive portrayals of father figures anymore. Just scanning any number shows on TV (Malcolm in the Middle, Everyone Loves Raymond, King of Queens, Tool Time, Married with Children, The Simpsons), you are given the impression that dads are bumbling buffoons, barely able to keep from electrocuting themselves as their wifes look on in I-told-you-so disapproval. Luckily this seems to be mostly an American/European phenomenon as many asian films continue to have strong male characters that don't fall into the category of lady's man, or comic relief: My Neighbor the Totorro comes to mind for a positive portrayal of a father figure.
I also agree that a lot of the laws regarding sexual assault or harassment seem to disproportionately unfair to men, as it falls upon the men to prove themselves innocent. I haven't ever been on the wrong side of one of those, but I did have a friend in college and high school who was very much a flirt (influenced by her mother actually), and who had a string of jobs where she claimed sexual harassment (and here I don't know the specifics of each) when I know in at least one case she could have just learned to set her boundaries better.
And then some of that goes off the deep-end, such as implying there is a vast feminist conspiracy to transfer wealth and power to the women, which I suppose is the karmic flip-side of feminists implying there is a vast conspiracy of men to oppress women for sex and exploitation.
It just seems like there should be a common ground somewhere in the middle, but instead it seems like we have two walled fortresses hurling bitter insults and raging against each other, which of course only makes the other side even more intractable. I think we can all agree with people should be treated on an equal basis without regards for their sex. If it makes sense for a woman to be a fire-fighter, she should be a fire-fighter. If it makes sense for a man to be a nurse, he should be a nurse. If it makes sense for either to be president, then the best person should be president. Rape and sexual assault should be prosecuted according to the law, with equality and justice guaranteed by the constitution, no matter who's raping whom.
Last week, we were discussing Abby Sunderland at work, and the general consensus (all except me and one other guy) was that her parents shouldn't have let her try to sail around the world. I then made the comment "You know, if this was a boy doing this, no one would even be making a big deal about it.", which was then followed by a few minutes of uncomfortable silence (although a few did nod in agreement) and then everyone went back to arguing and pretending that I didn't say anything. By the way everyone reacted, you'd think I just mentioned that I liked to torture babies on the weekends.
All this is to say that I've recently discovered there's some sort of hidden war of the sexes that seems to be brewing on the Internet between the feminists and (for lack of a better word) the masculinists. I had no idea this conflict was going on, so it was a bit like going down to your basement to discover the mice were having an all out war against the roaches. What's plain is that there's a lot of outrage, hyperbole, and indignation from all around. Admittedly, I've only mostly read things from the male side such as http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html, and I'm mostly ignorant of the feminist side of the argument aside from what I've heard from TV.
To me, some of the argument do have merit, especially the part about young men having no positive male role-models anymore. When I was younger I read books by Robert Bly like "Iron John" and "The Sibling Society" which talk about the Jungians archetypal male figures, so I understand how shocking it is that modern media has no positive portrayals of father figures anymore. Just scanning any number shows on TV (Malcolm in the Middle, Everyone Loves Raymond, King of Queens, Tool Time, Married with Children, The Simpsons), you are given the impression that dads are bumbling buffoons, barely able to keep from electrocuting themselves as their wifes look on in I-told-you-so disapproval. Luckily this seems to be mostly an American/European phenomenon as many asian films continue to have strong male characters that don't fall into the category of lady's man, or comic relief: My Neighbor the Totorro comes to mind for a positive portrayal of a father figure.
I also agree that a lot of the laws regarding sexual assault or harassment seem to disproportionately unfair to men, as it falls upon the men to prove themselves innocent. I haven't ever been on the wrong side of one of those, but I did have a friend in college and high school who was very much a flirt (influenced by her mother actually), and who had a string of jobs where she claimed sexual harassment (and here I don't know the specifics of each) when I know in at least one case she could have just learned to set her boundaries better.
And then some of that goes off the deep-end, such as implying there is a vast feminist conspiracy to transfer wealth and power to the women, which I suppose is the karmic flip-side of feminists implying there is a vast conspiracy of men to oppress women for sex and exploitation.
It just seems like there should be a common ground somewhere in the middle, but instead it seems like we have two walled fortresses hurling bitter insults and raging against each other, which of course only makes the other side even more intractable. I think we can all agree with people should be treated on an equal basis without regards for their sex. If it makes sense for a woman to be a fire-fighter, she should be a fire-fighter. If it makes sense for a man to be a nurse, he should be a nurse. If it makes sense for either to be president, then the best person should be president. Rape and sexual assault should be prosecuted according to the law, with equality and justice guaranteed by the constitution, no matter who's raping whom.