I started this gangsta shit...and this' the motherfuckin' thanks I get?
Alright, the last 2 weeks have been ridiculous. Where do I start?
Singles' Awareness Day has come and gone. (Valentines Day for you assholes who can manage to keep a woman around in the winter...fuck you).
So the night before, as you all know, we got the snow/ice/sleet/glacier/freezing rain/shit storm of hardcore. So I finally have a girlfriend on Valentine's Day, and I wasn't even able to see her. What's worse? I'd bought her 2 Dozen Roses that I now had to babysit for 2+ days.
And on top of that, I had to help shovel out my driveway. That was a nightmare. My car looked like Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat came by and froze it over with his ice magic bullshit. I had to use a fucking blowdrier connected to extension cords all the way back to the garage just to melt my door handle enough to open it. Shockingly I didn't drop it in a pile of snow and get electricuted.
I did however spit a huge loogy (or is it loogey?) and was reminded of back in 5th grade when Brian, Eddie, and I would walk to school and there was a garage we'd spit loogeys on in the winter and they froze there and no one ever cleaned it up. It was gross lol. We also used to try hitting pigeons on the phonelines with rocks...and we'd finally succeeded a few times by the end of the year. It sounds easy but those fuckers fly away with the quickness. I think we went after squirrels too and got some of those. *shrugs*
But yeah, another shocking thing is we didn't lose power. Not once. That means that there's still another hugeass motherfucking storm yet to come this winter.
Anyways, back to Valentine's Day. A day or two before she goes "I hope everyone we don't like is lonely on Valentine's Day."
You know why me and Kristen work so well? (even though she's a pain in the ass a lot)...I can be myself around her. She's fucked up and I'm fucked up. I can be evil, I can say racist shit, I can be fucked up to retards, I can say sacriligious shit, I can be an asshole as much as I want.
If I have to be all proper and respectful and tactful around a girl, it'd never work. Ever.
So yeah, I hope everyone else was lonely too.
Now then, I had all this time off of work and I couldn't go anywhere...so what did I do for those 2+ days? I sat on my ass and played FF12. Like non-stop, it was absurd.
Thursday night, I figured I couldn't sit around and let those roses go to waste at my house (they were expensive...goddamn you women suck at life) so I tried going to Kristen's house with them. Of course I couldn't get my car up hill because it was all basically a big glacier, so I'd get halfway up and have to go in reverse back down. I did that twice before I said fuck it and turned around. So basically I'm all couragious and risked my life for love and shit. Awwww.
So she ended up getting her dad to pick me up and we rented some movies and spent the night and following day at her house.
Her sister came up from wherever the fuck she lives to spend the weekend there. That was kind've interesting, since we didn't really meet on the best of terms. She was nice to me this time though. I met her when me and Kristen first started dating, and I guess she thought I was going to be a scumbag like every other dude in this town (IE: No job, no car, obsessed with weed, neglects and cheats on their woman, doesn't shower, criminal record, ect..).
Anyways, I'm tired. I'll probably post again tomorrow and catchup.
Singles' Awareness Day has come and gone. (Valentines Day for you assholes who can manage to keep a woman around in the winter...fuck you).
So the night before, as you all know, we got the snow/ice/sleet/glacier/freezing rain/shit storm of hardcore. So I finally have a girlfriend on Valentine's Day, and I wasn't even able to see her. What's worse? I'd bought her 2 Dozen Roses that I now had to babysit for 2+ days.
And on top of that, I had to help shovel out my driveway. That was a nightmare. My car looked like Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat came by and froze it over with his ice magic bullshit. I had to use a fucking blowdrier connected to extension cords all the way back to the garage just to melt my door handle enough to open it. Shockingly I didn't drop it in a pile of snow and get electricuted.
I did however spit a huge loogy (or is it loogey?) and was reminded of back in 5th grade when Brian, Eddie, and I would walk to school and there was a garage we'd spit loogeys on in the winter and they froze there and no one ever cleaned it up. It was gross lol. We also used to try hitting pigeons on the phonelines with rocks...and we'd finally succeeded a few times by the end of the year. It sounds easy but those fuckers fly away with the quickness. I think we went after squirrels too and got some of those. *shrugs*
But yeah, another shocking thing is we didn't lose power. Not once. That means that there's still another hugeass motherfucking storm yet to come this winter.
Anyways, back to Valentine's Day. A day or two before she goes "I hope everyone we don't like is lonely on Valentine's Day."
You know why me and Kristen work so well? (even though she's a pain in the ass a lot)...I can be myself around her. She's fucked up and I'm fucked up. I can be evil, I can say racist shit, I can be fucked up to retards, I can say sacriligious shit, I can be an asshole as much as I want.
If I have to be all proper and respectful and tactful around a girl, it'd never work. Ever.
So yeah, I hope everyone else was lonely too.
Now then, I had all this time off of work and I couldn't go anywhere...so what did I do for those 2+ days? I sat on my ass and played FF12. Like non-stop, it was absurd.
Thursday night, I figured I couldn't sit around and let those roses go to waste at my house (they were expensive...goddamn you women suck at life) so I tried going to Kristen's house with them. Of course I couldn't get my car up hill because it was all basically a big glacier, so I'd get halfway up and have to go in reverse back down. I did that twice before I said fuck it and turned around. So basically I'm all couragious and risked my life for love and shit. Awwww.
So she ended up getting her dad to pick me up and we rented some movies and spent the night and following day at her house.
Her sister came up from wherever the fuck she lives to spend the weekend there. That was kind've interesting, since we didn't really meet on the best of terms. She was nice to me this time though. I met her when me and Kristen first started dating, and I guess she thought I was going to be a scumbag like every other dude in this town (IE: No job, no car, obsessed with weed, neglects and cheats on their woman, doesn't shower, criminal record, ect..).
Anyways, I'm tired. I'll probably post again tomorrow and catchup.