(no subject)
I had my physical today. The entire process left me disoriented. Stop probing my BREASTS, you 45-year-old woman. Breast cancer exam? My ass.
Hahaha, I'm weary of the "system" but yet, it keeps us fertile things alive and thriving, right?
What a random entry starter.
Ok, well anyway... Goucher is lovely, really. Deer populate the campus, and can be seen at dusk, grazing about in herds. Visually, everything is exemplay. I guess the problem is the social facet. I haven't really bonded with anyone on my floor, because I feel circumscribed by bitchiness. A rather unpleasant clique formed rapidly around me, without me (thank god).
Katie thinks that I'm being too friendly to them-- that I have the right to act as stand-offish as they do. But I never felt that this was a way to enjoy life. I have a bit of a social circle on the third floor-- but the problem is that they are around each other all the time. I, being a 1st floor resident, am not. So I am like a foreign object being rejected by the body-- a stone up your nose, a splinter, a thorn. Of course, these are negative connotations. I can be a lovely addition, really, if only I weren't so disconnected...
Classes are going pretty well. I had a 12 o' clock and a 1:30 today. It's comforting to feel deserving of and prepared for college level work. My ideas are actually credible. My lit professor was impressed with some observation of mine today. It's strange... When you're in high school, you view college as a separate realm. It's not really a 'separate' realm, more like a foundation to be enhanced and built upon. Maybe a foundation to destruct and begin again. Whichever. These all seem probable.
It's hard to find time for myself though. Between homework and classes and navigating and the occasional hall party, it's hard to breathe.
Hahaha, I'm weary of the "system" but yet, it keeps us fertile things alive and thriving, right?
What a random entry starter.
Ok, well anyway... Goucher is lovely, really. Deer populate the campus, and can be seen at dusk, grazing about in herds. Visually, everything is exemplay. I guess the problem is the social facet. I haven't really bonded with anyone on my floor, because I feel circumscribed by bitchiness. A rather unpleasant clique formed rapidly around me, without me (thank god).
Katie thinks that I'm being too friendly to them-- that I have the right to act as stand-offish as they do. But I never felt that this was a way to enjoy life. I have a bit of a social circle on the third floor-- but the problem is that they are around each other all the time. I, being a 1st floor resident, am not. So I am like a foreign object being rejected by the body-- a stone up your nose, a splinter, a thorn. Of course, these are negative connotations. I can be a lovely addition, really, if only I weren't so disconnected...
Classes are going pretty well. I had a 12 o' clock and a 1:30 today. It's comforting to feel deserving of and prepared for college level work. My ideas are actually credible. My lit professor was impressed with some observation of mine today. It's strange... When you're in high school, you view college as a separate realm. It's not really a 'separate' realm, more like a foundation to be enhanced and built upon. Maybe a foundation to destruct and begin again. Whichever. These all seem probable.
It's hard to find time for myself though. Between homework and classes and navigating and the occasional hall party, it's hard to breathe.