Society for the Protection of Swanns.
No, that’s not a typo. Swanns, with the extra n. Also: spoilers ahead for the POTC trilogy.
This all sort of began in a thread on the new POTC fanfiction messageboard The Cove, where Elaine (who has already ranted on this, sort of) and I got into a bit of a discussion as to the complete and utter hatred of Elizabeth Swann.
Now, I am not saying that you have to like Elizabeth - that’s fine. As with disliking anything, so long as your reasons are valid/proveable, that’s fine by me. Right now I will say that I don’t like Will Turner because “he doesn’t appeal to me, and really, I’m rather ambivalent about Orlando Bloom, so that does not help”. She doesn’t have to be a character you ‘love to hate’ (like, for example, Bellatrix Lestrange, or another villain), but there is a difference between stating your reasonable and valid reasons, and something like this:
Yeah, she’s basically the whore that doesn’t stop whoring even when she’s all whored out. She’s sort of remarkable in that sense, but none of us find that all too admirable. Lizzie is the girl, who us haters proclaim as the character who became “a lot more whorey, a lot less ashamed” as the series progressed.
That, by the way, is from the index page of the Elizabeth Swann hatelisting. And that is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to “intelligent arguments” about why they dislike Miss Swann. Look at these two “essays” explaining how Miss Swann is a whore and a skanky beast.
Worst of all, she takes the coward’s way out by “drowning her guilt” (as so many fans chose to dub Elizabeth’s murder). She doesn’t want to face the fact she’s a dirty whore. She just wipes away the existence of her temptation. The fact she was ‘saving’ young William and the crew was just a coincidence.
… I… whut? So, because she is attracted to someone other than her partner, she chose to deal with the problem by killing him? When I first saw the phrase drowning her guilt, I thought they were referring to the scene where Tia Dalma hands out drinks, and they all (except Elizabeth, if you pay attention/listen to the commentary) drink to Jack, and that they were all OHNOESALCOHOLICLIZ! No, they’re referring to the boat scene, turning Elizabeth’s difficult choice and act of killing one to save many into… that abomination.
And it may just be me (I shall check by watching again this afternoon) but did Jack actually drown? I don’t think he ended up hitting the water - due to the whole “now he dead from kraken” thing.
Lastly, I’m not the only one to notice this.
Originally published at Disdainful-Soul.net. You can comment here or there.