Second law.
I've never changed my official (taxes, driver's license, bank, etc.) address from the squid's to any of my subsequent addresses. I still have a closet and a big chest of drawers there to myself. Like I never moved away, not really. It's time to change those things, I see. Although it would be extremely inconvenient to get my own car instead of using his for school, I should probably do that, too.
I'm embarrassed that it's hard for me to get over thinking of him as my partner. He pointed out that we haven't been that for a long time. After all the times I tried to initiate The Conversation and he refused to consider changing our status - and here I am, feeling like an idiot when he informs me that it's over and done. I guess I was stupid for keeping that space for him in my heart and mind and schedule, like I do the closet and chest at his place.
He says we'll always be family. I see my family once a year.
I'm embarrassed that it hurts so much. That it's hard to let go.
On the bright side, once I let go of my expectations, I won't be disappointed anymore, and maybe what we have will be sweeter again because of that. I don't know.
I do know that it's very hard to get out of the habit of thinking about someone and keeping in close touch with them, spending a couple nights a week with them, being part of their lives and assuming that they want to be part of yours.
Hopefully with time ... blah blah blah.
I'm embarrassed that it's hard for me to get over thinking of him as my partner. He pointed out that we haven't been that for a long time. After all the times I tried to initiate The Conversation and he refused to consider changing our status - and here I am, feeling like an idiot when he informs me that it's over and done. I guess I was stupid for keeping that space for him in my heart and mind and schedule, like I do the closet and chest at his place.
He says we'll always be family. I see my family once a year.
I'm embarrassed that it hurts so much. That it's hard to let go.
On the bright side, once I let go of my expectations, I won't be disappointed anymore, and maybe what we have will be sweeter again because of that. I don't know.
I do know that it's very hard to get out of the habit of thinking about someone and keeping in close touch with them, spending a couple nights a week with them, being part of their lives and assuming that they want to be part of yours.
Hopefully with time ... blah blah blah.