Things left undone.
Need to get some perspective on some negative feelings. These items are sort of mounting up and making me feel as though my life is unraveling. Big picture, I know things are going really well for me, arguably better than ever before. I think a lot of the negativity is due to me being on my period and will pass accordingly. Still, I feel the need to detox from this crap.
- I never filed my taxes from last year. I filed one extension and paid $1K, but then just ignored all the mail. Now it's time to pay again. J kindly recommended a tax accountant, but it's very hard to make the appointment. I know I just need to get it sorted.
- My motorcycle (purchased in November 2007 and never ridden for various stupid reasons) has finally been hauled to the mechanic. I let the registration go out of date and never bothered to get insurance. Now I need to deal with that stuff. I'm thinking I want to ride it a bit and then probably sell, or not.
- I'm frustrated with organizing my space in the new apartment. The common space is coming along very nicely. My office and closet are messes and are bringing me down. Craigslist has been woefully disappointing, excepting the two nice trees I bought for cheap, and I also don't have any way to carry stuff so have to rely on delivery. I need to decide what I want to do with the space, then find ways to get the items I need to make that happen.
- I've been unhealthily obsessed with my weight/body recently. I don't know why. I feel like I'm eating a lot more than I need to, and more often, but can't seem to cut down. I feel bad about myself if I don't exercise enough. My clothes fit fine, I know I don't look bad, and people are still attracted to me. If anything, I have a tiny bit more tummy than I used to/would like, and then the always-present disproportionately large bottom and thighs. The food I eat is good - low fat, fresh fruit and veg, whole grains, legumes, little bit of meat, try to avoid sweets (not always successful) and nothing fried - and I'm not sure I can exercise any more than I do. Yet for some reason I feel strongly that I Should Be Amazing and Perfect and it's bad that I'm not. I somehow owe it to myself and my partners. I also find myself thinking negative, critical, judgmental thoughts about overweight people I see. There's some link with my parents being so self-destructive with their health, and with Trousers (sans an ounce of fat) being a physical paradigm for me, but it's not their fault. I think the healthy brainspace is somewhere between acceptance and working toward change, and I know it's askew for me, but I don't know how to get to a better place.
Hopefully as the blood subsides and I get some of these things done, the neuroses will dissipate and the larger, better picture will re-emerge.
- I never filed my taxes from last year. I filed one extension and paid $1K, but then just ignored all the mail. Now it's time to pay again. J kindly recommended a tax accountant, but it's very hard to make the appointment. I know I just need to get it sorted.
- My motorcycle (purchased in November 2007 and never ridden for various stupid reasons) has finally been hauled to the mechanic. I let the registration go out of date and never bothered to get insurance. Now I need to deal with that stuff. I'm thinking I want to ride it a bit and then probably sell, or not.
- I'm frustrated with organizing my space in the new apartment. The common space is coming along very nicely. My office and closet are messes and are bringing me down. Craigslist has been woefully disappointing, excepting the two nice trees I bought for cheap, and I also don't have any way to carry stuff so have to rely on delivery. I need to decide what I want to do with the space, then find ways to get the items I need to make that happen.
- I've been unhealthily obsessed with my weight/body recently. I don't know why. I feel like I'm eating a lot more than I need to, and more often, but can't seem to cut down. I feel bad about myself if I don't exercise enough. My clothes fit fine, I know I don't look bad, and people are still attracted to me. If anything, I have a tiny bit more tummy than I used to/would like, and then the always-present disproportionately large bottom and thighs. The food I eat is good - low fat, fresh fruit and veg, whole grains, legumes, little bit of meat, try to avoid sweets (not always successful) and nothing fried - and I'm not sure I can exercise any more than I do. Yet for some reason I feel strongly that I Should Be Amazing and Perfect and it's bad that I'm not. I somehow owe it to myself and my partners. I also find myself thinking negative, critical, judgmental thoughts about overweight people I see. There's some link with my parents being so self-destructive with their health, and with Trousers (sans an ounce of fat) being a physical paradigm for me, but it's not their fault. I think the healthy brainspace is somewhere between acceptance and working toward change, and I know it's askew for me, but I don't know how to get to a better place.
Hopefully as the blood subsides and I get some of these things done, the neuroses will dissipate and the larger, better picture will re-emerge.