Briefs and why-fronts.
- Tests showed I'm allergic to dust, dust mite poo, the pollen of cedar, juniper and cypress, and food allergies including choc/coffee/cola (which I'd figured out) as well as (surprisingly) dairy and citrus, which includes tomatoes. ( Read more... )
Allergies: Sounds like we have the same food allergies--or, likely, "intolerances", as medical professionals tend to get all up in arms about any reaction that is not a full-blown hives histamine reaction. The elimination diet thingie (taking food out and then adding it back in) is really enlightening. That's how I found out about my citrus and bell pepper issues. Sorry you're intolerant :( It does limit your food choices a bit. Glad things are diagnosed, though.
About your sister's visit--I have been wanting to see "Wicked" for a while now, if nothing else that to see how they made this deconstructed Wizard of OZ book into a musical. How does Wayne and I meeting up with your guys for dinner or something before the show sound? What date are you going?
:( about your Dad. My advice for him will be the same as my advice for dealing with your friend L (see below).
Advice about L: From reading your post, it sounds like you already know what kind of person she is and what to do about it, but are waffling more than I've heard you waffle about somebody in a while. Maybe her attention is somehow boosting your self esteem? I've seen you be very grumpy about the Squid and the baby birds he rescues, and here you have one that you don't even like very much; why is this one so hard to kick out of your nest?
In Al-anon, we call someone with her kind of behavior pattern an alcoholic. Even if there is no actual substance abuse happening, if she looks like a duck and a quacks like a duck, treat her like a duck. Ie, treat her as if you were dealing with a codependant, obsessive, user personality who's not taking care of herself. In her own way, L.'s giving gifts and trying to be everyone's best friend is likely just a way for her to control her surroundings and alleviate her own insecurities, and probably in an obsessive, unhealthy manner--not entirely unlike an addict does. And, probably, what she "uses" is people.
So, in relation to your Dad...maybe he can be a baby bird sometimes, too, just much quieter about it.
You can't really change either of them--nobody can, until they decide to take up the reins and change themselves. The only thing you can do is take care of you, and do your best to not to let them stay in baby bird mode at your expense.
But it does suck. I hear about it in my meetings every week--somebody's son/father/wife is barely functioning but won't (or can't) get themselves together--they're in jail; lost their job and money; keep having to move constantly; being abusive; not taking care of their health issues. A lot of it just boils to people (addicts) not being able to be adults and take care of themselves, and the people who love them let themselves get put through the wringer until they realize it's not their fault, and they can't fix them, and they can't cure them, either, and that's just the reality of the situation. Which, amazingly, actually helps.
Anywho, my two cents.
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