KINGDOM HEARTS | the king of hearts {roxas/kairi}
Radiant Garden was a quiet kingdom with nice people and a decent King. Nothing ever happened; no wars, no poverty. It was average, nothing special. A nice place to live if you were looking to settle down and stay there for the rest of your life, but it wasn’t the best place to have an adventure.
Boring, mundane, normal.
Roxas was thoroughly unimpressed with it. The carriage had dropped him off just in front of the drawbridge connected to the castle grounds; his father had left him to try and support good relations with neighbouring kingdoms. Axel had volunteered to come along, fully decked out in his armour, but when he aw how utterly bland the place was, he’d kicked Roxas out onto the path and told Chip to head back to Hollow Bastion.
“Later, Prince!” he’d called, half hanging out the open carriage door. “Have… fun…”
He’d burst out laughing there. Roxas had glowered, mud in his cheek, and stomped towards the town square. Now he was completely and totally lost in some backwater town no one had ever heard of.
“Fantastic,” he snarled, and kicked a wall. A frail looking blonde girl who seemed to come out of absolutely nowhere cocked her head at him.
“Excuse me,” she said softly, “but are you alright?”
He turned on his heel and plastered on his most princely smile. “Have you seen the castle by any chance? I’m supposed to meet the King.”
She stared at him for a good ten seconds before pointing to their left. He turned. Above all the small houses was a huge, extravagant looking castle made of white marble and stone pillars. Roxas’ face faulted.
“Ah,” he said, and cleared his throat. “Right. Thanks.”
She bit her lip, eyes crinkling at the corners. “No problem.”
Roxas headed for the castle. He heard the girl shuffling behind him. He looked at her over his shoulder. “Uh, can I help you?”
She blinked, then shook her head. “Oh, no. I’m - well, I’m going to the castle, too.”
“Oh,” he said. “Uh, why?”
“I live there.”
He stopped, looked her up and down. “Are you… the princess?”
She shook her head at him again. “No. Uhm, see, everyone in Radiant Garden… lives in that castle.”
Roxas swore something in his face twitched. “You’re kidding me.”
Her lips curved. “No - no, I’m not.”
Roxas ran his hands through his hair and continued towards the large iron gates near the edge of the town. “This is crazy,” he muttered. Behind him, the girl giggled. “What?”
“Nothing,” she said absently. “I wonder if you and the Prince will get along.”
Roxas perked up. “Prince?”
She nodded. “He’s turning sixteen next month. Will you be staying that long?”
“... I don’t know,” Roxas said, and walked into the guards’ line of sight.
---
Roxas figured he’d made quite the impression on the entire royal court, what with the being covered in mud and the surly attitude and the possible death glare he might’ve shot that kid with the grey hair who’d snorted when he’d walked in. The King seemed decent enough, though. He smiled and greeted Roxas as if he’d been one of them. Roxas was amazed the place hadn’t been ransacked and destroyed by now.
“Your father sent me a letter explaining your circumstances,” he was saying, guiding Roxas down a very long hallway. “You’ll be staying with us for at least two months.”
Roxas froze. “… what.”
The King stopped walking and grinned at him. “Didn’t you know, my boy? Your father sent you out here to find a bride!”
Roxas choked on nothing and swore he heard a girl giggle from behind one of the doors. The King continued on, as if the heir to Hollow Bastion’s throne wasn’t having a conniption fit behind him. “I believe my son is out in the garden right now. You should go meet him.”
“Can do,” Roxas wheezed, and stumbled away.
---
So, the Prince? Looked like a wimp, Roxas wasn’t going to lie. He was kind of short - even shorter than Roxas - and skinny. Not in the wiry kind of way Axel was, just thin - Roxas was tempted to tell him to go eat a bun or eight. His hair was long, for a boy’s; it came to just below his chin, a glossy red.
When he turned and looked towards the garden entrance, Roxas almost had another heart attack. The guy looked quite a bit like the girl from the square. And by that, Roxas really meant that this guy looked a lot like a girl. Long eyelashes, pretty purple-blue eyes, full lower lip, sweet voice.
Holy crap, Roxas thought. The Prince is a tranny.
“Hi, there!” the… prince… girl… princess… said. “You must be Prince Roxas.”
“Uh, yeah,” he replied, approaching him… her. “Are you aware that you’re dressed like a boy?”
He… she… paused. “UHM.”
He snorted. “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?”
She sighed, put her sword down. “Honestly? No, I didn’t. But I was hoping.”
“Are you a transsexual,” he blurted out. She gawked at him. “Er, I mean.”
“… everyone in this town is really, really dense,” she finally said. “Sweet, but dense.”
“I kind of figured,” he went, scratching his head. “What with the whole, WE ALL LIVE IN THE CASTLE POVERTY WHAT IS POVERTY WHOO thing.”
“… I think that’s the first time anyone’s ever described this town like that,” she went, looking at him with something like awe. “Are you sure you didn’t hit your head when you fell out of that carriage?”
“No,” he went, “no, I’m really not. And how did you know about that?”
“My friend Riku was in the hall when you… retold the event,” she said, grinning. “He has silver hair. I’m sure you noticed him.”
“Wait, so that guy isn’t like, eighty,” Roxas asked. She laughed again, and his shoulders didn’t seem so tense. “No, seriously.”
“I’m Kairi,” she said, holding out her hand. “But my dad always wanted a boy, so I’m technically Kai. It’s nice to finally meet you, Prince Roxas of Hollow Bastion.”
He looked at her, amused, and shook her hand. “I could say the same to you, Prince-Princess Kai-Kairi of Radiant Garden.”
“Clever,” she said dryly. She held onto his hand.
“Thanks,” he went, and suddenly the whole trip didn’t seem so bad.
---
His dad wanted him to find a fiancée, so two weeks after he’d arrived, Roxas asked Kairi if she knew any cute, not-crazy girls he could meet and possibly ask to marry him within a month and a half. They were sitting in the library and Kairi was curled up opposite him on the couch with a book sprawled across her lap. Roxas was fairly certain it was a picture book.
“Well,” she went, chewing on her lower lip. Her hair was pulled back in a short ponytail with a purple ribbon. There was a butterfly hairclip holding back her bangs. “There’s always Yuffie… but she’s more likely to drop down from the ceiling and pick your pocket than marry you. And Selphie’s already dead set on marrying Tidus when she turns eighteen in half a year, only he doesn’t know it…”
Roxas stared at her, slightly afraid for his life. “Your friends are psychotic.”
She snorted. “This from the guy who’s best friend’s with my deranged cousin.”
He almost fell off the couch. “You and Axel are related.” When she nodded, he stared. “The world no longer makes sense.”
“Like it ever did before,” she said. “I mean, I’m a princess dressed like a boy who pretends to be a prince, and you’re as emotionally stunted as a rock and looking to get married in under six weeks.”
“You forgot the part about your entire kingdom living in your castle with you.”
Kairi looked thoughtful. “Oh, yeah. That, too.”
He frowned when she flipped a page in her book. “What are you reading there?”
“Lord Hayner’s List of Available Royalty, Volume XI,” she said with a perfectly straight face. Roxas pinched himself in the arm. She quirked an eyebrow. “What, I thought it’d come in handy.”
“And you didn’t think to, oh, I don’t know, show me? I’m the one looking for a wife, here.”
“And I pity whoever you choose,” Kairi said sadly. “I really, truly do.”
Roxas rolled his eyes and moved to sit next to her. Their thighs touched and their knees bumped, and she leaned on his shoulder a bit when she started pointing out girls. He couldn’t stop thinking about how she smelt like strawberries.
“What about her?”
He blinked and looked down at her, a little dazed. “….Guh?”
“Eloquent,” she drawled, and tapped a picture with her index finger. “Her. What do you think?”
He took one look and shook his head. “Too evil.”
Kairi frowned and skimmed over the biography under Princess Larxene’s name. “Really? I thought the torture-chamber-in-the-bedroom-thing was kind of neat.”
“You need help,” he said.
“Says the boy with the NO TOUCHY policy,” she snarked, completely oblivious to the fact that she was very much touching him in several places and he was very much enjoying it. Only he’d never tell her that. “What about her?”
Roxas scrunched up his nose and leaned over. Their cheeks brushed. “She’s… alright.”
“She’s adorable!” Kairi admonished. “Princess Olette of Twilight Town. Says here she is ‘completely and totally unavailable as Lord Hayner plans on making his move on her very soo -’ oh.”
“… nice,” he mumbled, and reached around her to flip the page, despite the fact that it probably would’ve been easier using his other arm. Never mind that she was practically in his lap now. “Oh, hey, I’ve seen her around.” He pointed at the doll-like blonde in the corner of the page. “She helped me find the castle.”
Kairi was uncharacteristically quiet when he said this. He bumped her with his shoulder and tried to look at her face. “Kairi?”
“That’s Naminé,” she said quietly. “My twin sister.”
Roxas looked startled. “What? Sister? Why haven’t I seen her around?”
“She… died.”
“… great,” Roxas deadpanned. “This place is nauseatingly sweet and creepier than Axel’s closet.”
Kairi made a small noise and got up quickly. He blinked. “Kairi -”
“You’re a jerk,” she mumbled, and walked out.
Of course, it was only after she’d left him very cold and alone on the couch that he realized he’d been a completely insensitive moron and really needed to learn how to talk about dead people.
---
“I’M SORRY,” he said outside her window, just under her balcony. “I’M AN IDIOT. AND I POSSIBLY HALLUCINATE YOUR DEAD SISTER - WAIT, I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY THAT. UH.”
A girl with black hair stuck her head out the window. “Wrong room, stupid!”
Roxas paused. “Damn it!”
Kairi sat on the railing of the balcony to the left of the one he was under, a small smile tugging at her lips. “You’re an idiot,” she sang, her tone teasing. “But, I forgive you.”
“Oh, good,” he said. “Now I don’t have to go try the other side of the castle."
Kairi raised her eyebrows slowly at him. “Just… how many rooms did you visit before you got here?”
“……….. seven,” he went, staring at his boots. He heard two giggles and looked up. Kairi was swinging her legs off the balcony, smiling brightly at him. Behind her, Naminé half-waved and put a finger to her lips.
“She can’t see me,” she went. “I just came back to make sure you two were getting along.”
Roxas blinked. Naminé smiled again. “You make her happy. That’s all I needed to see before moving on.”
She faded. Kairi lost her grip on the railing and went headfirst towards the ground.
---
“Roxas, I am so sorry,” Kairi spluttered, gripping his hand. The nurse was setting his other arm in a sling and probably taking great joy in the fact that if she poked him a certain way, he snarled and scared away all the other visitors who weren’t supposed to be there. “I didn’t think I’d slip!”
“You owe me,” he said through gritted teeth, “so bad.”
She nodded, eyes wide. “I’ll do anything!”
His brain shut down for a second, then started up again. “Wear a dress.”
Kairi stiffened. “What.”
He smirked. “You heard me. At your birthday party, you have to wear a dress.”
“WHAT.”
He put on his best pitiful face. “You said you’d do anything.”
She crumbled, of course. “Fine.”
---
Kairi’s birthday came a lot sooner than anyone thought it would. The night of the party, people were running all over the place, yelling at each other. Roxas stood by the floor-to-ceiling window in the corridor and watched it all, beyond amused.
“The guests are arriving!”
“The ballroom isn’t completely decorated!”
“TIDUS DOESN’T WANT TO MARRY ME.”
“We kind of already knew that, Selph.”
All in all, it seemed like it was going to be a good night. Roxas folded his arms across his chest and let one of the servants usher him into the main hall, which was decorated with streamers and balloons. A large cake sat on a table near the back of the room. Sora, one of Kairi’s childhood friends, was standing near it, all but salivating. Riku was watching him, clearly bored.
Yuffie came up behind him and tried to steal his sword. That or she was feeling him up. Either was, she didn’t succeed. Leon, one of Kairi’s knights, came over and dragged her away by her collar.
“So,” someone said behind him, “what do you think?”
“Your kingdom is batshit insane,” he deadpanned, and spun around. And then promptly lost his jaw somewhere on the floor. “UHM.”
Kairi did a little twirl. Her hair had grown out a little in the past couple of weeks and was just long enough to be curled. Her dressed was pink, slinky, and… really short. Roxas was having a hard time breathing. She looked at him expectantly.
“Well?”
“YOU HAVE LEGS,” he said, then slapped himself. “I mean.”
She blushed, giggled. “It’s okay,” she said, and put her hand on his arm. “I get it.”
“You look nice,” he finally went, tugging at his collar. It was suddenly very hot, even though all the windows were open. “So, uh, aren’t your friends and servants and stuff going to like, die once they realize you’re a girl?”
“… do you really think they’re going to realize I’m their Prince,” Kairi said. “I mean, really?”
“It’s kind of obvious now that you’re in a skirt. And, plus, uh, they’re going to be wishing you a happy birthday and you’re going to have to thank them. And they’ll see you as a girl.”
She raised an eyebrow in challenge. “Oh yeah? Watch this.”
She turned towards a blonde boy who was standing near the doors. Roxas struggled to keep his gaze away from the skin of her legs and the movement of her hips, and watched as she waved him over, smiling prettily. The boy seemed a little awestruck when he approached them, not that Roxas could blame him.
“Hi,” Kairi said sweetly. “It’s my birthday today. Did you know?”
The blonde blinked. “Really? It’s the prince’s birthday today, too! YOU’RE REALLY PRETTY. Wait.”
Kairi turned to Roxas triumphantly while the boy struggled to figure out his own thought process. “See?”
“I’m surrounded by idiots,” Roxas deadpanned, and dragged her out of the room. She struggled to keep up with him in her ridiculously high heels that Roxas didn’t mind at all.
“What are you doing?”
“If they can’t even figure out you’re the Prince,” he went, “then they certainly won’t notice if you’re missing.”
She spluttered. “I’m not missing my own birthday party!”
He swung her so she was against the door to his room and put his arms on either side of her head. “Not even if I do this?”
She looked up at him. “You get nothing from me until we’re married.”
He stopped leaning in and stared at her. She stared back. He sighed. “Fine.”
---
For the record, the birthday party went something like this:
“Happy Birthday, Prince Kai, wherever you are!”
“Thank you very much.”
“THE PRINCE IS A TRANNY.”
"We are so moving to Hollow Bastion."
Boring, mundane, normal.
Roxas was thoroughly unimpressed with it. The carriage had dropped him off just in front of the drawbridge connected to the castle grounds; his father had left him to try and support good relations with neighbouring kingdoms. Axel had volunteered to come along, fully decked out in his armour, but when he aw how utterly bland the place was, he’d kicked Roxas out onto the path and told Chip to head back to Hollow Bastion.
“Later, Prince!” he’d called, half hanging out the open carriage door. “Have… fun…”
He’d burst out laughing there. Roxas had glowered, mud in his cheek, and stomped towards the town square. Now he was completely and totally lost in some backwater town no one had ever heard of.
“Fantastic,” he snarled, and kicked a wall. A frail looking blonde girl who seemed to come out of absolutely nowhere cocked her head at him.
“Excuse me,” she said softly, “but are you alright?”
He turned on his heel and plastered on his most princely smile. “Have you seen the castle by any chance? I’m supposed to meet the King.”
She stared at him for a good ten seconds before pointing to their left. He turned. Above all the small houses was a huge, extravagant looking castle made of white marble and stone pillars. Roxas’ face faulted.
“Ah,” he said, and cleared his throat. “Right. Thanks.”
She bit her lip, eyes crinkling at the corners. “No problem.”
Roxas headed for the castle. He heard the girl shuffling behind him. He looked at her over his shoulder. “Uh, can I help you?”
She blinked, then shook her head. “Oh, no. I’m - well, I’m going to the castle, too.”
“Oh,” he said. “Uh, why?”
“I live there.”
He stopped, looked her up and down. “Are you… the princess?”
She shook her head at him again. “No. Uhm, see, everyone in Radiant Garden… lives in that castle.”
Roxas swore something in his face twitched. “You’re kidding me.”
Her lips curved. “No - no, I’m not.”
Roxas ran his hands through his hair and continued towards the large iron gates near the edge of the town. “This is crazy,” he muttered. Behind him, the girl giggled. “What?”
“Nothing,” she said absently. “I wonder if you and the Prince will get along.”
Roxas perked up. “Prince?”
She nodded. “He’s turning sixteen next month. Will you be staying that long?”
“... I don’t know,” Roxas said, and walked into the guards’ line of sight.
---
Roxas figured he’d made quite the impression on the entire royal court, what with the being covered in mud and the surly attitude and the possible death glare he might’ve shot that kid with the grey hair who’d snorted when he’d walked in. The King seemed decent enough, though. He smiled and greeted Roxas as if he’d been one of them. Roxas was amazed the place hadn’t been ransacked and destroyed by now.
“Your father sent me a letter explaining your circumstances,” he was saying, guiding Roxas down a very long hallway. “You’ll be staying with us for at least two months.”
Roxas froze. “… what.”
The King stopped walking and grinned at him. “Didn’t you know, my boy? Your father sent you out here to find a bride!”
Roxas choked on nothing and swore he heard a girl giggle from behind one of the doors. The King continued on, as if the heir to Hollow Bastion’s throne wasn’t having a conniption fit behind him. “I believe my son is out in the garden right now. You should go meet him.”
“Can do,” Roxas wheezed, and stumbled away.
---
So, the Prince? Looked like a wimp, Roxas wasn’t going to lie. He was kind of short - even shorter than Roxas - and skinny. Not in the wiry kind of way Axel was, just thin - Roxas was tempted to tell him to go eat a bun or eight. His hair was long, for a boy’s; it came to just below his chin, a glossy red.
When he turned and looked towards the garden entrance, Roxas almost had another heart attack. The guy looked quite a bit like the girl from the square. And by that, Roxas really meant that this guy looked a lot like a girl. Long eyelashes, pretty purple-blue eyes, full lower lip, sweet voice.
Holy crap, Roxas thought. The Prince is a tranny.
“Hi, there!” the… prince… girl… princess… said. “You must be Prince Roxas.”
“Uh, yeah,” he replied, approaching him… her. “Are you aware that you’re dressed like a boy?”
He… she… paused. “UHM.”
He snorted. “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?”
She sighed, put her sword down. “Honestly? No, I didn’t. But I was hoping.”
“Are you a transsexual,” he blurted out. She gawked at him. “Er, I mean.”
“… everyone in this town is really, really dense,” she finally said. “Sweet, but dense.”
“I kind of figured,” he went, scratching his head. “What with the whole, WE ALL LIVE IN THE CASTLE POVERTY WHAT IS POVERTY WHOO thing.”
“… I think that’s the first time anyone’s ever described this town like that,” she went, looking at him with something like awe. “Are you sure you didn’t hit your head when you fell out of that carriage?”
“No,” he went, “no, I’m really not. And how did you know about that?”
“My friend Riku was in the hall when you… retold the event,” she said, grinning. “He has silver hair. I’m sure you noticed him.”
“Wait, so that guy isn’t like, eighty,” Roxas asked. She laughed again, and his shoulders didn’t seem so tense. “No, seriously.”
“I’m Kairi,” she said, holding out her hand. “But my dad always wanted a boy, so I’m technically Kai. It’s nice to finally meet you, Prince Roxas of Hollow Bastion.”
He looked at her, amused, and shook her hand. “I could say the same to you, Prince-Princess Kai-Kairi of Radiant Garden.”
“Clever,” she said dryly. She held onto his hand.
“Thanks,” he went, and suddenly the whole trip didn’t seem so bad.
---
His dad wanted him to find a fiancée, so two weeks after he’d arrived, Roxas asked Kairi if she knew any cute, not-crazy girls he could meet and possibly ask to marry him within a month and a half. They were sitting in the library and Kairi was curled up opposite him on the couch with a book sprawled across her lap. Roxas was fairly certain it was a picture book.
“Well,” she went, chewing on her lower lip. Her hair was pulled back in a short ponytail with a purple ribbon. There was a butterfly hairclip holding back her bangs. “There’s always Yuffie… but she’s more likely to drop down from the ceiling and pick your pocket than marry you. And Selphie’s already dead set on marrying Tidus when she turns eighteen in half a year, only he doesn’t know it…”
Roxas stared at her, slightly afraid for his life. “Your friends are psychotic.”
She snorted. “This from the guy who’s best friend’s with my deranged cousin.”
He almost fell off the couch. “You and Axel are related.” When she nodded, he stared. “The world no longer makes sense.”
“Like it ever did before,” she said. “I mean, I’m a princess dressed like a boy who pretends to be a prince, and you’re as emotionally stunted as a rock and looking to get married in under six weeks.”
“You forgot the part about your entire kingdom living in your castle with you.”
Kairi looked thoughtful. “Oh, yeah. That, too.”
He frowned when she flipped a page in her book. “What are you reading there?”
“Lord Hayner’s List of Available Royalty, Volume XI,” she said with a perfectly straight face. Roxas pinched himself in the arm. She quirked an eyebrow. “What, I thought it’d come in handy.”
“And you didn’t think to, oh, I don’t know, show me? I’m the one looking for a wife, here.”
“And I pity whoever you choose,” Kairi said sadly. “I really, truly do.”
Roxas rolled his eyes and moved to sit next to her. Their thighs touched and their knees bumped, and she leaned on his shoulder a bit when she started pointing out girls. He couldn’t stop thinking about how she smelt like strawberries.
“What about her?”
He blinked and looked down at her, a little dazed. “….Guh?”
“Eloquent,” she drawled, and tapped a picture with her index finger. “Her. What do you think?”
He took one look and shook his head. “Too evil.”
Kairi frowned and skimmed over the biography under Princess Larxene’s name. “Really? I thought the torture-chamber-in-the-bedroom-thing was kind of neat.”
“You need help,” he said.
“Says the boy with the NO TOUCHY policy,” she snarked, completely oblivious to the fact that she was very much touching him in several places and he was very much enjoying it. Only he’d never tell her that. “What about her?”
Roxas scrunched up his nose and leaned over. Their cheeks brushed. “She’s… alright.”
“She’s adorable!” Kairi admonished. “Princess Olette of Twilight Town. Says here she is ‘completely and totally unavailable as Lord Hayner plans on making his move on her very soo -’ oh.”
“… nice,” he mumbled, and reached around her to flip the page, despite the fact that it probably would’ve been easier using his other arm. Never mind that she was practically in his lap now. “Oh, hey, I’ve seen her around.” He pointed at the doll-like blonde in the corner of the page. “She helped me find the castle.”
Kairi was uncharacteristically quiet when he said this. He bumped her with his shoulder and tried to look at her face. “Kairi?”
“That’s Naminé,” she said quietly. “My twin sister.”
Roxas looked startled. “What? Sister? Why haven’t I seen her around?”
“She… died.”
“… great,” Roxas deadpanned. “This place is nauseatingly sweet and creepier than Axel’s closet.”
Kairi made a small noise and got up quickly. He blinked. “Kairi -”
“You’re a jerk,” she mumbled, and walked out.
Of course, it was only after she’d left him very cold and alone on the couch that he realized he’d been a completely insensitive moron and really needed to learn how to talk about dead people.
---
“I’M SORRY,” he said outside her window, just under her balcony. “I’M AN IDIOT. AND I POSSIBLY HALLUCINATE YOUR DEAD SISTER - WAIT, I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY THAT. UH.”
A girl with black hair stuck her head out the window. “Wrong room, stupid!”
Roxas paused. “Damn it!”
Kairi sat on the railing of the balcony to the left of the one he was under, a small smile tugging at her lips. “You’re an idiot,” she sang, her tone teasing. “But, I forgive you.”
“Oh, good,” he said. “Now I don’t have to go try the other side of the castle."
Kairi raised her eyebrows slowly at him. “Just… how many rooms did you visit before you got here?”
“……….. seven,” he went, staring at his boots. He heard two giggles and looked up. Kairi was swinging her legs off the balcony, smiling brightly at him. Behind her, Naminé half-waved and put a finger to her lips.
“She can’t see me,” she went. “I just came back to make sure you two were getting along.”
Roxas blinked. Naminé smiled again. “You make her happy. That’s all I needed to see before moving on.”
She faded. Kairi lost her grip on the railing and went headfirst towards the ground.
---
“Roxas, I am so sorry,” Kairi spluttered, gripping his hand. The nurse was setting his other arm in a sling and probably taking great joy in the fact that if she poked him a certain way, he snarled and scared away all the other visitors who weren’t supposed to be there. “I didn’t think I’d slip!”
“You owe me,” he said through gritted teeth, “so bad.”
She nodded, eyes wide. “I’ll do anything!”
His brain shut down for a second, then started up again. “Wear a dress.”
Kairi stiffened. “What.”
He smirked. “You heard me. At your birthday party, you have to wear a dress.”
“WHAT.”
He put on his best pitiful face. “You said you’d do anything.”
She crumbled, of course. “Fine.”
---
Kairi’s birthday came a lot sooner than anyone thought it would. The night of the party, people were running all over the place, yelling at each other. Roxas stood by the floor-to-ceiling window in the corridor and watched it all, beyond amused.
“The guests are arriving!”
“The ballroom isn’t completely decorated!”
“TIDUS DOESN’T WANT TO MARRY ME.”
“We kind of already knew that, Selph.”
All in all, it seemed like it was going to be a good night. Roxas folded his arms across his chest and let one of the servants usher him into the main hall, which was decorated with streamers and balloons. A large cake sat on a table near the back of the room. Sora, one of Kairi’s childhood friends, was standing near it, all but salivating. Riku was watching him, clearly bored.
Yuffie came up behind him and tried to steal his sword. That or she was feeling him up. Either was, she didn’t succeed. Leon, one of Kairi’s knights, came over and dragged her away by her collar.
“So,” someone said behind him, “what do you think?”
“Your kingdom is batshit insane,” he deadpanned, and spun around. And then promptly lost his jaw somewhere on the floor. “UHM.”
Kairi did a little twirl. Her hair had grown out a little in the past couple of weeks and was just long enough to be curled. Her dressed was pink, slinky, and… really short. Roxas was having a hard time breathing. She looked at him expectantly.
“Well?”
“YOU HAVE LEGS,” he said, then slapped himself. “I mean.”
She blushed, giggled. “It’s okay,” she said, and put her hand on his arm. “I get it.”
“You look nice,” he finally went, tugging at his collar. It was suddenly very hot, even though all the windows were open. “So, uh, aren’t your friends and servants and stuff going to like, die once they realize you’re a girl?”
“… do you really think they’re going to realize I’m their Prince,” Kairi said. “I mean, really?”
“It’s kind of obvious now that you’re in a skirt. And, plus, uh, they’re going to be wishing you a happy birthday and you’re going to have to thank them. And they’ll see you as a girl.”
She raised an eyebrow in challenge. “Oh yeah? Watch this.”
She turned towards a blonde boy who was standing near the doors. Roxas struggled to keep his gaze away from the skin of her legs and the movement of her hips, and watched as she waved him over, smiling prettily. The boy seemed a little awestruck when he approached them, not that Roxas could blame him.
“Hi,” Kairi said sweetly. “It’s my birthday today. Did you know?”
The blonde blinked. “Really? It’s the prince’s birthday today, too! YOU’RE REALLY PRETTY. Wait.”
Kairi turned to Roxas triumphantly while the boy struggled to figure out his own thought process. “See?”
“I’m surrounded by idiots,” Roxas deadpanned, and dragged her out of the room. She struggled to keep up with him in her ridiculously high heels that Roxas didn’t mind at all.
“What are you doing?”
“If they can’t even figure out you’re the Prince,” he went, “then they certainly won’t notice if you’re missing.”
She spluttered. “I’m not missing my own birthday party!”
He swung her so she was against the door to his room and put his arms on either side of her head. “Not even if I do this?”
She looked up at him. “You get nothing from me until we’re married.”
He stopped leaning in and stared at her. She stared back. He sighed. “Fine.”
---
For the record, the birthday party went something like this:
“Happy Birthday, Prince Kai, wherever you are!”
“Thank you very much.”
“THE PRINCE IS A TRANNY.”
"We are so moving to Hollow Bastion."