life as i know it
It has been a tearful week. I have spent a lot of time thinking and thinking and all I want to do is reach an answer that both of us can do. But its hard to be his friend and I don't want to lose him and neither of us want to ruin our friendship, but how can we go back to being just friends with the intense attraction we discovered on Tuesday? I do not know and I hope being his friend works. He needs to stand alone and I just need to watch. If he needs me i am here if he doesn't I will just sit and watch him grow.
Last night was very fun. I always enjoy the company of boys better than the company pf girls, i can just say what i want and not really give a shit. Adam and Jacob are finally becoming closer, they are both single and looking for themselves. I hope they find what they want and dont go jumping into something they can not control.
I am fairly confused about things right now. I feel like I depend too much on Reid and I am thinking of taking a break. Maybe it will be for the better. But it will hurt and I dont want the pain that comes with the heartbreak of losing him if I cant get him back after my break from reality.
The break would mean being single again and focusing on my work and figuring out my shit before Christmas. I want to still be with him after... I love him too much to just walk away but i need to focus on myself and not having him around would help me become more independent.
I dont want to , i really dont but I need to know that i can live on my own and by myself.
...i cant believe what i just did...
Last night was very fun. I always enjoy the company of boys better than the company pf girls, i can just say what i want and not really give a shit. Adam and Jacob are finally becoming closer, they are both single and looking for themselves. I hope they find what they want and dont go jumping into something they can not control.
I am fairly confused about things right now. I feel like I depend too much on Reid and I am thinking of taking a break. Maybe it will be for the better. But it will hurt and I dont want the pain that comes with the heartbreak of losing him if I cant get him back after my break from reality.
The break would mean being single again and focusing on my work and figuring out my shit before Christmas. I want to still be with him after... I love him too much to just walk away but i need to focus on myself and not having him around would help me become more independent.
I dont want to , i really dont but I need to know that i can live on my own and by myself.
...i cant believe what i just did...