and update

Sep 06, 2006 00:08

im single and things like. THings are ok we decieded that it was for the best and that we want to remain friends. and im happy about that so dont reply wanting info on it cause there is none.

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disconnected1 September 6 2006, 16:24:45 UTC
im not pushing ppl away in my mind at all. because i dont need to be coddled about this. what happened happened. i love him yeah but is it working as a relationship no. is that bad yeah but can he and i still be friends hell ya! jay and i did it to help ourselves for once. and i feel that if ppl start prying into what happened it will make me think about it way to much and make it hurt when its not supposed. well that sounds bad. ill just say that events happened over the summer to make us both realize that we wernt ment to be together. and me i tryed my damnedest to make it work. but this weekend a friend came up to visit me and we had the most fun of my life and we hung out with my friends and things clicked in my head that this is what i should be doing haveing fun and not caring about stupid ass shit. and that brought me back to jay i sat down and thought that we have been together for so long and we both have been distancing ourselves and that was a sign that i couldnt ignore anymore. so i cryed and cryed about the deciosion that i was having to make because i didnt know what he felt or anything. so i cryed some more. and then i came to grips with it. and said that i have to do this for me ive been thinking as a gf for 2 years now. i needed to get to who i was again. and i realized after i spent the night there there was no passion no fire that we had between us. so he called me yesterday and i told him that we needed to talk and i just told him what had been on my mind and i said that i still love him and that he is a great guy and all.. and he agreed that we wernt working at all. and i felt releaved about that cause i thought that that was why he was acting so odd. and we just had a clean break up. no messy thing that ive had in the past and it was nice to act like an adult and be able to go over there and get my things and not have to worrie about things getting broken. i just feel that in the intrest of me and what i want to do with my life that i needed to do that. and so did he. we are at two different places at this point in time. and that is ok. there will always be what we had and what we were. and that is the greatest gift that he could ever give to me love and understanding. and im thankful for him cause i grew as a person and i just feel happy about the entire thing. yeah it hurts that it eneded but im happy cause it happened and we are able to be friends and all. and thats it i asked ppl not to pry cause i didnt want to tell the storie more than once. and that would not be good cause id get pissed off like hell. and its been a good day and i dont want to have it ruined. so im srry if i came across bitchy but i didnt want to talk about it and all and now i feel that i am but not all topics and things like that so if ppl want to ask questions go ahead but if you get to somthing that is sore for me i wont answer.

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bloodyaftertast September 6 2006, 21:53:40 UTC
i understand that you don't want to dwell on it, but i was worried and you did shove me away and made me feel like shit for caring and then you say there are no details and you just go and do a huge blurb about it when i never asked for them. I just wanted to know if you were ok and shit

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disconnected1 September 7 2006, 03:54:58 UTC
i didnt meen it like that at all jess. i truly didnt. but idk i didnt know what to do. ppl have been comming up to me and asking me the same questions over and over. i didnt meen to hurt you at all . im fine that is the thing it wa for the best

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