I'm Back... pt1
Ah yes, so good to be back in the States. On my flight back to Ft. Myers, the guy sitting beside me asked, "So you are visiting Florida for the first time?"
"Nope... Ft. Myers is home for me."
"Then why are you wearing that?"
I look down and realize that I still had on the hoodie I purchased in Ireland. The weather had been so cool the whole time (and downright freezing once or twice) that I was wearing it everywhere. Even in Boston. It was a little bulky to pack, so I figured I would wear it through the airports and take it off before I step into the smothering Florida heat.
"Heh, guess I wont be needing this anymore..."
"Nope!" he said. "Youll be lucky if you even get to pull it out this winter."
Ugh. I thought about what he said and it kind of got to me. What the hell am I doing in Florida? Yeah, tourists and old, retiring fogies flock here by the millions to absorb the sun and the fun, but said sun and fun is like the water you drink down with your Advil. It helps to get the pill down, but the whole thing is a pain in the ass.
The pill here to swallow is heat and humidity, so I have to say that Florida life is a pain in the ass. There, I said it.
It may be a good place to hail from, but come on.
Of course, if anyone anywhere else on the planet asks you where youre from and you say Florida, you can enjoy the novelty of being blamed for the good weather and asked if you go to the beach a lot. Ironically, it seems most people I met have visited here and/or know of Fort Myers. Not wholly surprising.
That would be the first thing to put on the list of Things I have learned from my Europe trip:
#1: Its not so bad to be a tourist from the United States, but if you have to tell someone where youre from, Florida is the winning answer.
BUT
#2: There really are oh-so-many Americans that set an oh-so-bad example for the rest of us.
Youll overhear something that makes you just want to get up, walk over, and hit them... Hard. Then apologize to the natives for whatever asshole comments were made.
Imagine the kind of people that can afford to travel all the time: Rich, snooty, yuppies; retired conservative crackers; And dumb kids trying to impress each other. Seasoned travelers, students, and other open-minded persons are not the minority, but they dont stick out enough to be considered anything else.
Some examples: We were eating lunch at a café in Paris. The waiter was polite enough, but too busy for smiles or conversation. No problem. Then this (clearly) American couple sits down. They were older. It looked like the guy had retired from selling his company for a cool million or 2 and he and his wife were pigging out on being rich and wealthy. It reminds me of many people from around here, actually.
Anyhow, it seemed like they were visiting Paris without any interest or reason other than 'just because we can'. The woman asked the waiter for a martini with vodka (instead of gin). Her instructions were long, unnecessary, and condescending, which confused and aggravated the waiter. When he brought her drink, she sneered and claimed it wasnt vodka. It took the waiter bringing her the bottle of vodka used to shut her up.
We felt so awful, so Colby and I had an entire conversation about how people like them suck in the loudest english possible, and made the best effort to be the easiest and most polite American customers that waiter ever had. I wish they had heard us talking about them. We tried. They were only a few feet away, but were so wrapped up in their own little world, they hardly noticed anything else. It was disheartening.
But not as disheartening as the Eiffel Tower.
We were on the very top tip observing the evening sun set over the city. The tower is way higher than you think it is and the view is just amazing. While we were taking it all in, I hear to my direct right:
Teen Voice 1: "Look. Everything looks the same. Its so boring."
Teen Voice 2: "Yeah, its all conformist. Its such a conformist city. Lets get out of here."
And before I could turn around to say "what the hell did you just say you dumb little pricks?" they were gone. I didnt even see them, but from their breadbasket accent, I kind of knew where they were from: South Park. I cleanly envisioned the Goth kids from the show. If you have seen it, youll know what Im talking about. Its funny.
But seriously who comes to Paris, goes to the top of the Eiffel Tower, and goes "Eh, wish I was back home in my black room listening to Depeche Mode."? They dont deserve this. The f*ed up thing is they dont know it.
There were many others, and I can now understand where our snobby American rep comes from. Waiters, sales clerks, and others were wary of us at first, but treat you almost like a friend when you use a polite "hello" or a smile.
Enough for now. Later Ill go on to
#3: Coke is better everywhere other than where you live.
(to be continued....)