Old fashoned candy
So I was in Wallgreens (not that goddamn CVS) yesterday walking up to the checkout when this guy runs into the store Groucho Marx-style and up to the register. He wore a Raiders hawaiian shirt and looked exactly like Christopher Lloyd. Like a hungry dog, he paced up and down the candy/snack display that runs under the register line. He picks up a pack of chocolate Necco Wafers and points it at the register guy.
"Do you have any more of these but in a rainbow variety pack?"
"Uh, I think so."
"Well I dont see them!"
The register guy walks out and has himself a look-see. I chuckle to myself, but accidentally vocalize some of it and give myself away. The guy snaps around and looks at me like he's about to say "GREAT SCOTT!". It was so strange and surreal that I decided to let this one go. Otherwise, I would have tried to explain my amusement with this awful, awful candy.
Necco is this company that has been around forever. One of those shootbacks to a time when you bought sweets from a candy store, the only chocolate you got was from a local chocolatier, and people still wore tophats. I am pretty sure this is the same company responsible for the Valentine's Day candy hearts with the messages on them.
When I was a kid, my parents and I would walk the dog through the neighborhood and turn around for home once we reached the gas station. Sometimes they got me a candybar, but this one particular time they saw the Necco Wafers and got nostalgic. Somehow the novelty of their son eating the same candy they did when they were young would excite and please them.
It sucked. It was and still is the most nasty stuff trying to be a candy sweet that I have ever sampled. They are thin wafers that are about the size and shape of poker chips. They are made out of some chalky base (like the hearts) with a hint of nasty flavor... but its not like you'd expect. See, It was one of those rare foods that tasted like how other stuff smelled. For example if you try the green wafer, you'll find that it tasted like the scent of Pine-Sol (or faintly like a fresh christmas tree). The pink ones tasted not so much like the taste of Pepto Bismol but more of what it smelled like. The yellow ones were like Lemon Joy, the purple ones were ok, and the brown ones like chocolate chalk. Those were not so revolting, so they started making rolls with all-chocolate and quietly phased out the rainbow, which you dont see much of anymore.
Anyway, back to being a kid. After I had a few, I voiced my opinion of them to Mom and Dad. I told them what each flavor-smell was like and they laughed... at least until they tried a few for themselves. Ah, how I saw those old memories fade from their faces as they tried desperately to figure out what they liked about Necco so long ago. Nobody would eat anymore from the package. I tossed them like little Frisbees. I tried throwing them at the birds, but they wouldn't eat them either. Oh they tried at first... but spit them out and flew off. It was comedic.
Lessons learned: Good for throwing. Also for scaring off birds (if you have some crops). Not for eating.
"Hmm. I guess we're out", the register guy says.
Doc Brown turns his attention from me and whips back to the employee.
"...But you normally sell them?"
"Yeah. We're just out."
(storming out of the store) "Dammit!"
I walk up.
"You dont normally sell them. Do you...?"
"No, but I didnt want to upset the guy anymore. He was a little scary. I should have sent him back to the pharmacist."
I laugh, "Yeah he probably could have helped him more than you or I."
"Yeah. I wonder why he needed those candies so bad. What kind of craving is that?"
"Maybe he needed fuel for his Delorean.", I say.
"What?"
"Nevermind."
"Do you have any more of these but in a rainbow variety pack?"
"Uh, I think so."
"Well I dont see them!"
The register guy walks out and has himself a look-see. I chuckle to myself, but accidentally vocalize some of it and give myself away. The guy snaps around and looks at me like he's about to say "GREAT SCOTT!". It was so strange and surreal that I decided to let this one go. Otherwise, I would have tried to explain my amusement with this awful, awful candy.
Necco is this company that has been around forever. One of those shootbacks to a time when you bought sweets from a candy store, the only chocolate you got was from a local chocolatier, and people still wore tophats. I am pretty sure this is the same company responsible for the Valentine's Day candy hearts with the messages on them.
When I was a kid, my parents and I would walk the dog through the neighborhood and turn around for home once we reached the gas station. Sometimes they got me a candybar, but this one particular time they saw the Necco Wafers and got nostalgic. Somehow the novelty of their son eating the same candy they did when they were young would excite and please them.
It sucked. It was and still is the most nasty stuff trying to be a candy sweet that I have ever sampled. They are thin wafers that are about the size and shape of poker chips. They are made out of some chalky base (like the hearts) with a hint of nasty flavor... but its not like you'd expect. See, It was one of those rare foods that tasted like how other stuff smelled. For example if you try the green wafer, you'll find that it tasted like the scent of Pine-Sol (or faintly like a fresh christmas tree). The pink ones tasted not so much like the taste of Pepto Bismol but more of what it smelled like. The yellow ones were like Lemon Joy, the purple ones were ok, and the brown ones like chocolate chalk. Those were not so revolting, so they started making rolls with all-chocolate and quietly phased out the rainbow, which you dont see much of anymore.
Anyway, back to being a kid. After I had a few, I voiced my opinion of them to Mom and Dad. I told them what each flavor-smell was like and they laughed... at least until they tried a few for themselves. Ah, how I saw those old memories fade from their faces as they tried desperately to figure out what they liked about Necco so long ago. Nobody would eat anymore from the package. I tossed them like little Frisbees. I tried throwing them at the birds, but they wouldn't eat them either. Oh they tried at first... but spit them out and flew off. It was comedic.
Lessons learned: Good for throwing. Also for scaring off birds (if you have some crops). Not for eating.
"Hmm. I guess we're out", the register guy says.
Doc Brown turns his attention from me and whips back to the employee.
"...But you normally sell them?"
"Yeah. We're just out."
(storming out of the store) "Dammit!"
I walk up.
"You dont normally sell them. Do you...?"
"No, but I didnt want to upset the guy anymore. He was a little scary. I should have sent him back to the pharmacist."
I laugh, "Yeah he probably could have helped him more than you or I."
"Yeah. I wonder why he needed those candies so bad. What kind of craving is that?"
"Maybe he needed fuel for his Delorean.", I say.
"What?"
"Nevermind."