the joys of life... especially sex with pineapples...*sigh*
well, that was the best sex I have *ever* had...
I got so into it.... I mean, I usually do, but not like that. If anyone wants a word of advice, or just wants have really good sex, lemme tell ya, go to a grocery store near you, and just buy yourself a pineapple. It doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl, it could go up your ass too! I tried it.....*ahem* anyway,That thing just NEVER gets tired. And those spikey things....damn...wow. They just made it better. I couldn't believe the energy that came out of that thing! It just kept going and going, and I remember saying "jesus.... are you done yet??!!" and the pineapple replied, "Nope, I still have about3 hours or so left." So I just let it do its job while I lit up a cigarette. I took my time...actually, I had about 3 in a row, got a sudden blast of energy, and went back to work. Lemme tell ya, it was only 15 more minutes til I was back in my pack of cigarettes again! I guess it's good that the pineapple never took up smoking...wouldn't you say so??? all of a sudden, I realize something feels different, so I asked the pineapple if the condom came off or something... he said "uh, I didn't have one on to begin with... remember, I'm a pineapple?? they don't make em for pineapples, people usually don't do this. YOU'RE NOT NORMAL." Still, something felt strange. So i told the pineapple to stop for a minute or so, and I look at the pineapple, and there are maybe 2 or 3 worms coming out of it through holes! "I knew something didn't feel right..." I said to the pineapple. "well, it's not MY fault you don't like my worms. I always thought they were great..." (Someone once told me that they thought Pete looked like a pineapple....eek) Anyway, I got so upset... I started crying... The pineapple tried to comfort me and hug me, but unfortunately, the pineapple had no arms. Therefore, the comforting did not work. I threw the pineapple at the wall. Then I got an idea! I knew I had to punish the pineapple for bringing out the worms.. I just HAD to. I came up with the best plan. I carried it to the kitchen, took out the sharpest knife I had, and cut it all up.....
and then....
I ATE IT! ...
...as much as I really don't like eating pineapples.
but he deserved it. so hmmph!
Now I know whenever I go to a grocery store somewhere, I'm gonna see those pineapples and get all turned on... But I know I just have to resist my inhuman urges... (Inhuman is right...wow.) And please, if you're a friend of mine, and you currently have pineapples at your house, please remove them before I go there, if I'm planning on it. It's very hard to be next to a pineapple, especially when no ones using it for anything, and it's just being wasted....and not being used for what it's good for.
Thank you, and good night.
I got so into it.... I mean, I usually do, but not like that. If anyone wants a word of advice, or just wants have really good sex, lemme tell ya, go to a grocery store near you, and just buy yourself a pineapple. It doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl, it could go up your ass too! I tried it.....*ahem* anyway,That thing just NEVER gets tired. And those spikey things....damn...wow. They just made it better. I couldn't believe the energy that came out of that thing! It just kept going and going, and I remember saying "jesus.... are you done yet??!!" and the pineapple replied, "Nope, I still have about3 hours or so left." So I just let it do its job while I lit up a cigarette. I took my time...actually, I had about 3 in a row, got a sudden blast of energy, and went back to work. Lemme tell ya, it was only 15 more minutes til I was back in my pack of cigarettes again! I guess it's good that the pineapple never took up smoking...wouldn't you say so??? all of a sudden, I realize something feels different, so I asked the pineapple if the condom came off or something... he said "uh, I didn't have one on to begin with... remember, I'm a pineapple?? they don't make em for pineapples, people usually don't do this. YOU'RE NOT NORMAL." Still, something felt strange. So i told the pineapple to stop for a minute or so, and I look at the pineapple, and there are maybe 2 or 3 worms coming out of it through holes! "I knew something didn't feel right..." I said to the pineapple. "well, it's not MY fault you don't like my worms. I always thought they were great..." (Someone once told me that they thought Pete looked like a pineapple....eek) Anyway, I got so upset... I started crying... The pineapple tried to comfort me and hug me, but unfortunately, the pineapple had no arms. Therefore, the comforting did not work. I threw the pineapple at the wall. Then I got an idea! I knew I had to punish the pineapple for bringing out the worms.. I just HAD to. I came up with the best plan. I carried it to the kitchen, took out the sharpest knife I had, and cut it all up.....
and then....
I ATE IT! ...
...as much as I really don't like eating pineapples.
but he deserved it. so hmmph!
Now I know whenever I go to a grocery store somewhere, I'm gonna see those pineapples and get all turned on... But I know I just have to resist my inhuman urges... (Inhuman is right...wow.) And please, if you're a friend of mine, and you currently have pineapples at your house, please remove them before I go there, if I'm planning on it. It's very hard to be next to a pineapple, especially when no ones using it for anything, and it's just being wasted....and not being used for what it's good for.
Thank you, and good night.