i dont know
okay. so this morning my mother decided to scream the tears outt of me because she had to get ready for work & i took 2 minutes to go to the bathroom when she needed to get in there. i went in my room and said i was sorry and closed the door. i slammed. on accident. as in i DIDNT mean to slam the door its just that my window was open and the wind made it slam/. erego.. my mom screaming and screaming at me and telling me not to cry. since she and my grandma just love telling me whats on my mind... i guess this is it { or what my mom tells me }
i lie to everyone around me
i never give anything to my mom or appreciate anything she does
i cry for attention
i'm failing school
i use people
i have mental problems
& i need to go away
so.i guess theres this boarding school or military school im not sure, but its in kentucky. i want to go there so i can get rid of my problems. i know i have problems. my mom thinks she knows all my problems, wait till i tell her & wait till she sees my wrists then she'll have some real reasons to hate me. but if i leave & come back maybe my mom will think ive changed or maybe i will change. i need help so i hope i get it. as for everyone i have some messages for you before i leave.
amelia- please forgive me for the things i;ve said. some of it is from the bottom of my heart though. i have the strongest hate for you and at the same time i have the strongest love for you and i would walk through fucking fire if it would benefit you.
trina- you have been the greatest friend anyone could have. thats it. i cant compare our friendship to any other. whatever happened last night i'm sorry.
allen- i don't know whats up with us. but i always feel whenever i have a feud with anyone youre always on their side. never mine. i still love you though, & maybe we can be bettyer friends when i get back.
amber- you are one of the coolest most original people ive ever met in my life. both of your brothers are amazingly awesome. your mom is the sweetest mom ever. & i love you & it really really hurt when you blew me off to be with amelia. i really wanted to spend halloween with you. but it's okay i forgive you.
anthony- you are amazing and i had the biggest crush on you for the longest time. you are so awesome and i =am so glad to see you and megan together you guys are like a match made in heaven & i love seeing you too, it just shows how beautiful love can be.
mike- i liked you alot. you hurt me so many times mike. you lied to me. talked shit about me. misleaded me. pretty much ruined alot of my life. & i hope you rot in hell. & i know we can NEVER be friends because of your hate for me & the way i despise you with every bone in my body.
tina- you are so good to talk to & so ood with advice, youre your own person & i love it & love you.
PLUS you are so cute.
david- weve been off and on friends soo much. you are so cool david bilske & whenever you need something you can always come to me once i get back. tell everyon e i said yo. <3
RAMY- oh my goodness ramy, i think we've been through alot. most of the time i think of you as never there but you really are there for me mayeb im crazy but i do think of you as a best friend and i still love you i will always love you forever no matter what i dont care who knows it i dont care what you do with anyone im not obsessed with you & i dont like you alot but i will always love you. & i love to see you & be with you & love your quirkiness, i think you are such a geek & i love that to. i dont expect anything more from you though because you were there every step of the way when me and amelia were fighting & i think you were the only one on my side for once. so yeah just wanted to let you know that i love you and would do anything, ANYTHING for you.
& for everyother friend. im sorry for whatever, please forgive me if i ever treated you like shit.