A triumphant return to incoherency!
Fear not, o constant listener, for the Disco Bison has not forsaken you. he simply found himself weighed down with a multitude of tasks that required his unwavering attention, but has now returned, and has seen fit to burden you with his tales of adventure and swashbuckling in a land which, it quickly became apparent, was not at all suited to any of the afore mentioned activities. after an arduous journey west (during which the mp3 opted to shuffle off this mortal coil, much my chagrin) I landed in Edmonton, a small city of about one million people, and was greeted by snow. my initial delight at such excitingly cold weather was tempered to some degree not only by its tenacity in continuation, but also to the speed and severity to which it worsened, and is continuing to worsen, over the last couple of weeks. the disco bison suspects that his arrival may have been somewhat badly timed; the step-son of the man with whom he is staying lost his father the night I arrived, so not only is there some emotional imbalances occurring throughout the family, but the disco bison also finds he must tread lightly, which for one known for verbosity and lack of empathy is almost excruciating in terms of the inhibition effort required. thusfar, survival has only truely been assured by the ability to create a chocolate mousse of transcendental pleasure, a feature that has won many hearts, even in consideration of the... less desirable aspects the disco bison may present. although admittedly even the tasties of mousses cannot melt the cold, hard heart of the winter, as it rails and screams against the windows, chilling to the bone all who dare brave it. yes. it is quite cold.
To digress, the prices of electronics being what they are, I felt compelled to purchase a digital camera. it takes double A batteries, but comes with a charger and some rechargable batteries. being, however, the master of sensible thought I find myself to be, it was not until I actually purchased the whole thing, at considerable expense, that I realised that canadian wall sockets are a different shape to Australian ones, and resultantly the charger will not work outside the americas. such overwhelming intellectual prestige! but anyway: I also discovered that this small backwater harbors nothing less than the largest shopping mall in the world. it has a giant indoor lake with real submarines, although unfortunately no-one was swayed by my brilliant idea that it would be a good idea to let me drive one. despite all my time here, the only things I have learned are: canada is too cold, and stoves are still painfully hot, no matter how cold it is outside. the lesson? never lick one. I will return with photographs chronicling my adventures in the frozen wastes, where not even the sun dares shine. until then I remain, as always,
Your ob'dnt servant,
Tom.
To digress, the prices of electronics being what they are, I felt compelled to purchase a digital camera. it takes double A batteries, but comes with a charger and some rechargable batteries. being, however, the master of sensible thought I find myself to be, it was not until I actually purchased the whole thing, at considerable expense, that I realised that canadian wall sockets are a different shape to Australian ones, and resultantly the charger will not work outside the americas. such overwhelming intellectual prestige! but anyway: I also discovered that this small backwater harbors nothing less than the largest shopping mall in the world. it has a giant indoor lake with real submarines, although unfortunately no-one was swayed by my brilliant idea that it would be a good idea to let me drive one. despite all my time here, the only things I have learned are: canada is too cold, and stoves are still painfully hot, no matter how cold it is outside. the lesson? never lick one. I will return with photographs chronicling my adventures in the frozen wastes, where not even the sun dares shine. until then I remain, as always,
Your ob'dnt servant,
Tom.