(no subject)

Jul 27, 2006 01:37

my myspace is undergoing routine maintenance right now.

I realize I’m still youthful and I have a lot of time in front of me. But love is something I really worry about. I just have this deep fear that nobody will ever love me. And if anyone ever does, I fear that I won’t feel the same way about them.

I came to the realization that I can’t really do anything about it. I just have to be myself, and hopefully someone will truly love me as I am. And I will love them back. I would call it fate, but I think it’s more or less just luck.

I’ve dated people that are so different from one another, yet still none were right for me. I’ve never said those three coveted words.. And I never will unless I mean it. I’m talking about the phrase “I love you” if you are dumb and didn’t understand that.

So I was thinking about what qualities I want in a significant other. What would make someone so perfect to me that I would be able to tell them I loved them.. and actually mean it?

So I made a list. But it’s not all-inclusive. It’s more or less a guideline. A suggestion. Just like pants, Marge. I mean, maybe I’ll fall for someone entirely different than what I’ve defined on this list. I’m not going to be like, “Well, that’s strike three.. you’re out!” I realize that nobody is perfect and no one ever will be.

At the same time I’m certainly not going to go down the list and think, “Well, you fit all the criteria, so I guess you’re the one.” Even if you are the cookie cutter counterpart to what my list defines, that doesn’t mean I’m going to love you.

I imagine love as some kind of unspeakable connection of immense magnitude. You can’t really write that quality on paper. It’s either there or it’s not. Scientifically, it literally has something to do with chemistry, like pheromones and stuff.

I’m not desperate by any means. I just want love someday. I can wait until then. I don’t want to force it. It will come and I just have to be satisfied with that. I would rather wait 40 years to find pure love, rather than try to fill the gap in advance with artificial love. I will never fake my love for someone. That would just not be fulfilling.

I need to tell you…
1. I hate bad spellers. Please learn the difference between [your, you’re] and [there, their, they’re] and [to, too, two]
2. If you need a job, go get one.
3. If you’re 21, it’s time to move out.
4. If you’re white and you cornrow your hair regularly, you look terrible.
5. I will not have sex with you unless I marry you.
6. Flowers never fail.
7. If you’re not perfect, you better not say anything to me about losing weight, growing boobs, or getting a tan.
8. Don’t tell me to wear shorter skirts or lower-cut shirts. That’s not me. You need to respect that factor about me.
9. I don’t mind if you check other girls out, as long as it’s not excessive.
10. Don’t point out another girl and tell me that you participated in a threesome with her or information similar to that. Whorish tendencies on your part are not attractive to me.
11. If you play an instrument, extra points. Especially for guitar and piano.
12. If you play on a hockey team, extra points.

No thanks if you…
1. If you love country music or wear John Deere shirts, no thanks.
2. If you proudly advertise that you’re straight-edge, no thanks.
3. If you wear pants that are tighter than mine, no thanks.
4. If you are obsessed with eating healthy and exercising, no thanks.
5. If you have a rattail or Mohawk, no thanks.
6. If you are proud of your unoriginal tattoos, no thanks.
7. If your favorite bands include Fall Out Boy or Hawthorne Heights, no thanks.
8. If your favorite bands include Disturbed, Creed, Seether, or any other shitty bands, no thanks.



1. I need someone who can respect me and my morals.
2. I want someone who is funny. I love funny people.
3. I have an odd sense of humor, so I need someone who understands me and the meaning of sarcasm.
4. I laugh a lot, so I need someone who thinks my laugh is… tolerable.
5. I want someone who is intelligent. I need to be able to actually have conversations with someone, rather than just exchanging jokes.
6. I want someone with realistic hopes and dreams. If you seriously think you’re going to be a professional athlete or a rockstar… then good luck.
7. I need someone who is genuinely nice and friendly. You should care about the well-being of other people. Don’t be mean to people!! Extra points if you volunteer in your community. And that doesn’t count if it’s court-ordered! Haha.
8. I want to have someone that has a passion. I don’t care what it is.. I don’t care if it’s playing the piano, playing football, painting, or raising awareness about global warming. I want be able to watch someone do something they just love.
9. I want someone with determination and ambition for a career path. I want you to go to college, I want you to try hard, and I want you to get good grades.
10. I want someone who is faithful. If you want to be with someone else, then just break up with me.
11. I want someone who can be open and honest. If I do something that bothers you, you have to tell me so I won’t do it again. You have to tell me or else I’ll never know.. and it will just dwell on you. Just try not to be too brutal.
12. I need someone who doesn’t lie. No liars! Don’t make promises if you can’t keep them. And don’t say things if you don’t mean them.
13. I want someone who likes to cuddle.
14. I want someone who respects art. I need someone I can go to galleries with and admire artwork. Extra points if you create your own artwork.
15. I want someone who thinks I look just as good in jeans and a t-shirt as I do when I’m all dressed up.
16. I want someone who will enjoy staying inside and watching movies with me sometimes. Note: not all the damn time.
17. I want someone who will enjoy going to a party and getting crunk sometimes. Note: not all the damn time.
18. I want someone who likes to make decisions, because I hate decision-making.
19. I want someone who can have fun being sober. Drinking is great, but so are so many other things.
20. I want someone who knows not to drink and drive.
21. I want someone who supports gay marriage.
22. I want someone who can kill spiders for me.
23. I want someone who can appreciate and tolerate most music genres.
24. I want someone who enjoys being in the company of animals and children. I love them both.
25. I want someone who is taller than me and fatter than me.
26. No drug addictions!! Cigarettes don’t count and weed is tolerable.
27. I like to give massages. I want someone who would gladly return the favor.
28. I want someone who keeps good hygiene. You don’t have to pluck your eyebrows, but you do have to shower regularly. Smell nice. Dress clean. It’s not that hard. I’d prefer a metrosexual over a slob.

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