Beautiful Nightmare (3/?)
Title: Beautiful Nightmare
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Rating: NC-17 (just to be safe)
Summary: Is Santana really worth chasing after? (Eventual Brittany/Santana, a bit of FaBerry on the side.)
Spoilers: Season 1, just to be safe.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, unfortunately.
3
Later that day found Quinn standing in front of Santana's front door. She wasn't totally sure just what she was planning to say to the fiery cheerleader, but she figured Rachel was right in saying that she was the only person who stood even the slightest chance of getting through to her. She took a deep breath as she rang the doorbell. A few moments later the door was opened and she was greeted my Santana's mother.
“Hello Quinn, I haven't seen you in forever. How are you getting on?” She wore a genuine smile on her face which Quinn found calming.
“I'm good thank you, and you?”
She rolled her eyes and grinned as she heard a band followed by some screaming coming from upstairs.
“Ay, dios mio. Same as ever, working and making sure my children aren't trying to kill one another. Anyway, Santana's up in her room. I'll warn you though, she isn't in one of the best moods.” Quinn let out a short laugh and smiled at the older woman.
“I'm used to it, don't worry.”
She made her way upstairs and stood in front of Santana's door. She knocked softly and heard something that resembled 'come in.'
She immediately heard the Latina's voice as she stepped into the room.
“I wish you'd tell me what I've done Britt, call me back ok?” She threw her phone down on the bed beside her in frustration as she sat up and finally acknowledged the blonde girl standing in front of her door. She wasted no time in expressing her annoyance to Quinn.
“She wont answer my calls or text me back! I mean seriously, how am I meant to fix whatever the hell it is that I've done if she wont talk to me?” She let out a frustrated sigh as she picked up her phone to check it again. She turned back to Quinn again.
“What did you guys talk about? Did she say anything to you?” Quinn calmly dropped her bag on the floor and moved to sit on Santana's bed. She crossed her legs and faced her friend. After a while she finally spoke.
“You know what Santana, you really are a complete moron sometimes.” The Latina's eyes went wide at the insult.
“What the- where did that come from? I thought you were coming over here to help me!” She glared at the ex cheerleader who shrugged it off. Santana's death glare stopped working on her ages ago.
“I'm just speaking the truth.” She kept her cool even though she swore she could literally see fire behind her friend's eyes.
“Have I missed something here?” Quinn snorted as Santana spoke.
“Yeah, obviously you have. Who's fault is that?” Santana rolled her eyes, she hated it when people spoke in riddles. She couldn't understand why people couldn't just talk normally.
“Not mine! How am I meant to know what's going on when no one tells me jack shit?”
“It's called opening your eyes and taking in what's going on around you instead of being selfish and concentrating on yourself all the time.” She rolled her eyes at the brunette as she seemed to be having difficulties decided whether or not to be confused or seriously pissed at another insult being thrown at her.
“Nothing has changed though.” Santana was starting to calm down a bit, confusion apparently winning out over her anger.
“I think that's the point.” The brunette let out a frustrated sigh.
“Seriously, do you lack the art of talking like a normal person these days? Why the hell does everyone have to talk in fucking riddles?”
“I'm not talking in riddles Santana, you're just being a moron.” Santana gaped at the blonde. She wasn't used to people being comfortable enough to insult her so easily.
“Let's think about things together shall we?” She realised she was being condescending, but she honestly didn't know how else to get through to her friend.
“Everyone knows something is going on between you and Britt. There is something so undeniably there, I mean she's the only person you actually show any form of compassion and patience to, for a start.” Santana fought the urge to roll her eyes.
“I know you better than anyone Santana, and I can read you like a book and I can tell you have feelings for her.” She spoke softly and noticed the brunette's head drop slightly.
“How would you feel knowing she'd slept with one of the guys from the football team?” Santana's head shot up, a mixture of anger and fear swirling deep within her eyes.
“She... didn't?” Quinn shook her head.
“I was speaking hypothetically, but what would you feel if she had.” Santana looked down as she thought before her head raised again and her eyes met Quinn's.
“I... don't know. I mean, I wouldn't exactly be jumping for joy-” Quinn was quick to interrupt.
“Why?” Santana squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head.
“Why do you think!?” Her temper was starting to rise again so Quinn decided to try and end this quickly.
“How do you think Britt felt when you blew her off yesterday to go out with that guy? Did you ever stop to think it might hurt her to see you do that as much as it would clearly hurt you if she was to do the same?” Quinn mentally high-fived herself as she started to see realisation dawning on Santana.
“I... I didn't think she wanted that. I mean I told her sex wasn't dating-” Quinn let out a bitter chuckle grabbing Santana's attention.
“Typical Santana. Then you wonder why I continue to call you a moron.” Santana didn't even react to the insult. She just continued staring at the floor. Quinn remained silent for a while to let her friend take everything in.
“I... I care about her so much-” Quinn looked up at her friend after waiting patiently for her to speak.
“She means everything to me... but, I can't go there with her.” Quinn's head snapped up to her friend.
“What?” Santana sighed as she shook her head, unable to make eye contact with the blonde.
“If we were to be in a relationship, imagine what school would be like. We'd both get slushie facials every single day, not to mention everyone whispering about us all the time. I mean remember all the shit you and Berry got when you first announced you were together?”
Quinn stared at her friend, an incredulous look plastered across her normally calm features.
“Well, yeah. But I mean look at us now! After about a week no one cared!” The brunette shook her head.
“It's not the same and you know it Q.” Anger started bubbling up in the blonde.
“No, what I know is that you're making excuses-”
“Excuses? It's not the same Quinn! You took a nose dive in popularity when you decided to have sex with your boyfriend's best friend and then get knocked up. Then you went and decided you were gay for Berry ? I mean it's not like you could've dropped much lower is it? Look at me and Britt, no one messes with either of us, we have this whole high school shit down. I cant ruin that. That's why it's not the same!”
Santana has a feeling she may have gone too far. She chanced a look up at her friend who sat there staring at her. She didn't look like she was about to burst into tears, and she didn't look like she was about to rip Santana's head off. She was, calm. This scared Santana more. At least if she could tell what someone was thinking or feeling, she could generally determine the next step, now though... she had no idea. She looked up at Quinn again and felt her throat clench as she finally worked out what Quinn was feeling.
Disappointment.
Quinn shook her head and let out another bitter laugh before sighing.
“I always knew you were a moron Santana. I've known that since the day I met you. You jump into situations without thinking and run your mouth, or forget words altogether and use your fists. I always thought you were so stupid for being so reckless, but at the same time I admired you for it. You weren't afraid to stick up for yourself or make sure no one walked over you.” She paused and stared deep in Santana's eyes, making sure her next point hit home.
“I always knew you were a moron. I never had you pegged as a coward though.” She stared at her friend who's gaze was fixated on the floor again.
“You don't get it.” Santana barely spoke above a whisper, and Quinn shook her head again.
“Yeah, you're right I don't. I don't get how someone could care so much about their reputation at a fucking high school, that they're intentionally missing out on having something so special with someone they obviously care about so much.” Santana's head shot up.
“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Santana had tears flooding from her eyes as she muttered the same thing over and over.
“Why? Is the truth too much for you-” Santana lunged forwards shoving Quinn as a fresh round of sobs racked her body.
“You don't fucking get it Quinn. I don't care about what happens to me. If anyone gives me shit I can take it, and dish it right back out again, so people know not to mess with me. But Brittany? That girl is so loving, so fucking caring that she wouldn't say a damn thing, and everyone knows that! There's only so much I can watch her and make sure no one's messing with her... but all it would take it that one split second where I'm not there and all hell could break loose! I cant let that happen to her! I wont let that happen to her!” She paused and took a deep breath. “I care about her too much to watch her get beat down like that.”
Quinn swallowed, and continued to stare at the brunette in front of her. Hunched over, head in her hands, shoulders shaking. After a few moments, Santana began to calm down and Quinn took the chance to move closer to her and wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a hug. Santana near enough threw herself into the blonde. Quinn finally decided to speak.
“I know everyone thinks Brittany is stupid and that she can't hold her own, but people don't give her enough credit. I'm fairly certain she's willing to take the risk and knowing B, she'd probably take charge when she needed to.” Santana sniffed as she started to calm down, taking in Quinn's words.
“I had doubts when it came to me and Rachel. I thought, what would happen to me... could it get worse? Would it get worse? I wondered for ages whether it would be worth it. Then I thought about how when all those secrets came rushing out and everyone near enough abandoned me for a while, the only person who came through for me was her. I wont lie, we all know Rachel isn't exactly the most popular person in the school but she built up a friendship with everyone in Glee, and for the first time she had friends. When she took the time to make sure I was ok, the way everyone felt about what happened, she could've lost all of them as well.” Santana look up at her, eyes still shimmering with un-shed tears. Quinn smiled.
“I remember it was then I thought, that if she could take the risk of losing the friendship and respect of the only people she's probably ever been able to call friends, then I could definitely take the risk when it came to a bunch of people who I don't care about and probably won't ever see again after I leave this hell hole. It took a lot of getting used to, but now... now I can't imagine myself without her.” She noticed that Santana's head had dropped again, and so she brought her hand up to gently lift Santana's chin.
“You need to sort yourself out and take that leap, because the way I see it... if I can survive it, I have absolutely no doubt that you can.” She smiled softly at the brunette who wrapped her arms around Quinn and whispered something in her ear.
“Thank you.”
Thanks for reading!
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Rating: NC-17 (just to be safe)
Summary: Is Santana really worth chasing after? (Eventual Brittany/Santana, a bit of FaBerry on the side.)
Spoilers: Season 1, just to be safe.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, unfortunately.
3
Later that day found Quinn standing in front of Santana's front door. She wasn't totally sure just what she was planning to say to the fiery cheerleader, but she figured Rachel was right in saying that she was the only person who stood even the slightest chance of getting through to her. She took a deep breath as she rang the doorbell. A few moments later the door was opened and she was greeted my Santana's mother.
“Hello Quinn, I haven't seen you in forever. How are you getting on?” She wore a genuine smile on her face which Quinn found calming.
“I'm good thank you, and you?”
She rolled her eyes and grinned as she heard a band followed by some screaming coming from upstairs.
“Ay, dios mio. Same as ever, working and making sure my children aren't trying to kill one another. Anyway, Santana's up in her room. I'll warn you though, she isn't in one of the best moods.” Quinn let out a short laugh and smiled at the older woman.
“I'm used to it, don't worry.”
She made her way upstairs and stood in front of Santana's door. She knocked softly and heard something that resembled 'come in.'
She immediately heard the Latina's voice as she stepped into the room.
“I wish you'd tell me what I've done Britt, call me back ok?” She threw her phone down on the bed beside her in frustration as she sat up and finally acknowledged the blonde girl standing in front of her door. She wasted no time in expressing her annoyance to Quinn.
“She wont answer my calls or text me back! I mean seriously, how am I meant to fix whatever the hell it is that I've done if she wont talk to me?” She let out a frustrated sigh as she picked up her phone to check it again. She turned back to Quinn again.
“What did you guys talk about? Did she say anything to you?” Quinn calmly dropped her bag on the floor and moved to sit on Santana's bed. She crossed her legs and faced her friend. After a while she finally spoke.
“You know what Santana, you really are a complete moron sometimes.” The Latina's eyes went wide at the insult.
“What the- where did that come from? I thought you were coming over here to help me!” She glared at the ex cheerleader who shrugged it off. Santana's death glare stopped working on her ages ago.
“I'm just speaking the truth.” She kept her cool even though she swore she could literally see fire behind her friend's eyes.
“Have I missed something here?” Quinn snorted as Santana spoke.
“Yeah, obviously you have. Who's fault is that?” Santana rolled her eyes, she hated it when people spoke in riddles. She couldn't understand why people couldn't just talk normally.
“Not mine! How am I meant to know what's going on when no one tells me jack shit?”
“It's called opening your eyes and taking in what's going on around you instead of being selfish and concentrating on yourself all the time.” She rolled her eyes at the brunette as she seemed to be having difficulties decided whether or not to be confused or seriously pissed at another insult being thrown at her.
“Nothing has changed though.” Santana was starting to calm down a bit, confusion apparently winning out over her anger.
“I think that's the point.” The brunette let out a frustrated sigh.
“Seriously, do you lack the art of talking like a normal person these days? Why the hell does everyone have to talk in fucking riddles?”
“I'm not talking in riddles Santana, you're just being a moron.” Santana gaped at the blonde. She wasn't used to people being comfortable enough to insult her so easily.
“Let's think about things together shall we?” She realised she was being condescending, but she honestly didn't know how else to get through to her friend.
“Everyone knows something is going on between you and Britt. There is something so undeniably there, I mean she's the only person you actually show any form of compassion and patience to, for a start.” Santana fought the urge to roll her eyes.
“I know you better than anyone Santana, and I can read you like a book and I can tell you have feelings for her.” She spoke softly and noticed the brunette's head drop slightly.
“How would you feel knowing she'd slept with one of the guys from the football team?” Santana's head shot up, a mixture of anger and fear swirling deep within her eyes.
“She... didn't?” Quinn shook her head.
“I was speaking hypothetically, but what would you feel if she had.” Santana looked down as she thought before her head raised again and her eyes met Quinn's.
“I... don't know. I mean, I wouldn't exactly be jumping for joy-” Quinn was quick to interrupt.
“Why?” Santana squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head.
“Why do you think!?” Her temper was starting to rise again so Quinn decided to try and end this quickly.
“How do you think Britt felt when you blew her off yesterday to go out with that guy? Did you ever stop to think it might hurt her to see you do that as much as it would clearly hurt you if she was to do the same?” Quinn mentally high-fived herself as she started to see realisation dawning on Santana.
“I... I didn't think she wanted that. I mean I told her sex wasn't dating-” Quinn let out a bitter chuckle grabbing Santana's attention.
“Typical Santana. Then you wonder why I continue to call you a moron.” Santana didn't even react to the insult. She just continued staring at the floor. Quinn remained silent for a while to let her friend take everything in.
“I... I care about her so much-” Quinn looked up at her friend after waiting patiently for her to speak.
“She means everything to me... but, I can't go there with her.” Quinn's head snapped up to her friend.
“What?” Santana sighed as she shook her head, unable to make eye contact with the blonde.
“If we were to be in a relationship, imagine what school would be like. We'd both get slushie facials every single day, not to mention everyone whispering about us all the time. I mean remember all the shit you and Berry got when you first announced you were together?”
Quinn stared at her friend, an incredulous look plastered across her normally calm features.
“Well, yeah. But I mean look at us now! After about a week no one cared!” The brunette shook her head.
“It's not the same and you know it Q.” Anger started bubbling up in the blonde.
“No, what I know is that you're making excuses-”
“Excuses? It's not the same Quinn! You took a nose dive in popularity when you decided to have sex with your boyfriend's best friend and then get knocked up. Then you went and decided you were gay for Berry ? I mean it's not like you could've dropped much lower is it? Look at me and Britt, no one messes with either of us, we have this whole high school shit down. I cant ruin that. That's why it's not the same!”
Santana has a feeling she may have gone too far. She chanced a look up at her friend who sat there staring at her. She didn't look like she was about to burst into tears, and she didn't look like she was about to rip Santana's head off. She was, calm. This scared Santana more. At least if she could tell what someone was thinking or feeling, she could generally determine the next step, now though... she had no idea. She looked up at Quinn again and felt her throat clench as she finally worked out what Quinn was feeling.
Disappointment.
Quinn shook her head and let out another bitter laugh before sighing.
“I always knew you were a moron Santana. I've known that since the day I met you. You jump into situations without thinking and run your mouth, or forget words altogether and use your fists. I always thought you were so stupid for being so reckless, but at the same time I admired you for it. You weren't afraid to stick up for yourself or make sure no one walked over you.” She paused and stared deep in Santana's eyes, making sure her next point hit home.
“I always knew you were a moron. I never had you pegged as a coward though.” She stared at her friend who's gaze was fixated on the floor again.
“You don't get it.” Santana barely spoke above a whisper, and Quinn shook her head again.
“Yeah, you're right I don't. I don't get how someone could care so much about their reputation at a fucking high school, that they're intentionally missing out on having something so special with someone they obviously care about so much.” Santana's head shot up.
“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Santana had tears flooding from her eyes as she muttered the same thing over and over.
“Why? Is the truth too much for you-” Santana lunged forwards shoving Quinn as a fresh round of sobs racked her body.
“You don't fucking get it Quinn. I don't care about what happens to me. If anyone gives me shit I can take it, and dish it right back out again, so people know not to mess with me. But Brittany? That girl is so loving, so fucking caring that she wouldn't say a damn thing, and everyone knows that! There's only so much I can watch her and make sure no one's messing with her... but all it would take it that one split second where I'm not there and all hell could break loose! I cant let that happen to her! I wont let that happen to her!” She paused and took a deep breath. “I care about her too much to watch her get beat down like that.”
Quinn swallowed, and continued to stare at the brunette in front of her. Hunched over, head in her hands, shoulders shaking. After a few moments, Santana began to calm down and Quinn took the chance to move closer to her and wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a hug. Santana near enough threw herself into the blonde. Quinn finally decided to speak.
“I know everyone thinks Brittany is stupid and that she can't hold her own, but people don't give her enough credit. I'm fairly certain she's willing to take the risk and knowing B, she'd probably take charge when she needed to.” Santana sniffed as she started to calm down, taking in Quinn's words.
“I had doubts when it came to me and Rachel. I thought, what would happen to me... could it get worse? Would it get worse? I wondered for ages whether it would be worth it. Then I thought about how when all those secrets came rushing out and everyone near enough abandoned me for a while, the only person who came through for me was her. I wont lie, we all know Rachel isn't exactly the most popular person in the school but she built up a friendship with everyone in Glee, and for the first time she had friends. When she took the time to make sure I was ok, the way everyone felt about what happened, she could've lost all of them as well.” Santana look up at her, eyes still shimmering with un-shed tears. Quinn smiled.
“I remember it was then I thought, that if she could take the risk of losing the friendship and respect of the only people she's probably ever been able to call friends, then I could definitely take the risk when it came to a bunch of people who I don't care about and probably won't ever see again after I leave this hell hole. It took a lot of getting used to, but now... now I can't imagine myself without her.” She noticed that Santana's head had dropped again, and so she brought her hand up to gently lift Santana's chin.
“You need to sort yourself out and take that leap, because the way I see it... if I can survive it, I have absolutely no doubt that you can.” She smiled softly at the brunette who wrapped her arms around Quinn and whispered something in her ear.
“Thank you.”
Thanks for reading!