let it all out
depressing that i turn to my lj when i can't jam what i'm feeling or need to get out in 140 characters or less. depressing but that's the truth nevertheless.
okay, here i go. it's 10:37pm and i'm feeling all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons. let's set the stage. today is anthony's birthday. he invited me to Tunnel tonight for his bday party. i've never been to Tunnel, nor have i heard of it before meeting him. i thought about it for a few days and decided to go, simply because he thought to invite me in the first place. now, let's start the self-berating. i thought up all these various reasons of why it would be easier if i didn't go. i wouldn't really know anyone besides him and some of the other dancers that he invited, all of whom, with the exception of bonnie and daniela, i'm even less close with than anthony. i hate going to these sorts of things alone, having to make my entrance alone to people who don't know me all that well. i hate having to stick by the sides of people just because i don't care/want/know how to mingle with people. i work tomorrow at 7 and despite not letting sleep get in the way of living, i'm using this tonight to compile with the rest. never been to Tunnel and we all know how i feel about driving to new places and dealing with the whole driving downtown bit. i think i've covered all the reasons i could think of.
writing this out made me feel somewhat better, though i probably should have manned up and just gone out anyway. it's times like this i honestly wish that i had a social coach or something.
danger out.
okay, here i go. it's 10:37pm and i'm feeling all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons. let's set the stage. today is anthony's birthday. he invited me to Tunnel tonight for his bday party. i've never been to Tunnel, nor have i heard of it before meeting him. i thought about it for a few days and decided to go, simply because he thought to invite me in the first place. now, let's start the self-berating. i thought up all these various reasons of why it would be easier if i didn't go. i wouldn't really know anyone besides him and some of the other dancers that he invited, all of whom, with the exception of bonnie and daniela, i'm even less close with than anthony. i hate going to these sorts of things alone, having to make my entrance alone to people who don't know me all that well. i hate having to stick by the sides of people just because i don't care/want/know how to mingle with people. i work tomorrow at 7 and despite not letting sleep get in the way of living, i'm using this tonight to compile with the rest. never been to Tunnel and we all know how i feel about driving to new places and dealing with the whole driving downtown bit. i think i've covered all the reasons i could think of.
writing this out made me feel somewhat better, though i probably should have manned up and just gone out anyway. it's times like this i honestly wish that i had a social coach or something.
danger out.