on the dangers of diving/swimming
i just got back from watermania with steve and mark and i'm sorry to report that i was a little bit of a buzz kill for them. granted i watched and laughed and encouraged them to have fun, which they did, but part of me still feels really bad for not really participating with them. see the whole thing stems from my weakened shoulder and how paranoid i am of dislocating it. i did my first dive, seemed okay, did my second dive, started to ache, feeling very familiar to how it did when i dislocated it last. after that, i just sat along the side like a sad little freak show and did my thing while the two boys acted like idiots and had a great time at it. while driving home, steve said that i worry about my shoulder too much and joked around that he would need to video me dislocating my arm so he could send it into break.com. he then proceeded to tell me he would give me the $500 bucks they would send him for the video. he thought it was a very fair trade but very few things would be worth trading for the amount of pain i would endure physically and emotionally. very few things. oh well, i'll get over it, it's a stupid thing feeling guilt over a thing such as this.