It had been one of those weeks when the realization of how I so miserably fail at being a human
comes crashing down on me
(Sometimes I try to argue, to deny, to rationalize: It is they who are wrong, who lack meaning and depth and conviction. But, in actuality, I am the odd one-the odd one out of tens, hundreds, thousands, millions, billions; the odd one inside walls no one is willing to break.
I have been walking through life gathering demons and losing people along the way. I have been floating along the outskirts of the social realm for too long. The only logical conclusion is that it is innate, biological; the very thing the ecosystem of human society will select against. This is me, and the air I breathe in and out, the blood pumping through me-all of it, all of me-feels heavy, sharp, and cold.)
and, just like every other time, it came crashing down on me really fucking hard.
(Sometimes I try to argue, to deny, to rationalize: It is they who are wrong, who lack meaning and depth and conviction. But, in actuality, I am the odd one-the odd one out of tens, hundreds, thousands, millions, billions; the odd one inside walls no one is willing to break.
I have been walking through life gathering demons and losing people along the way. I have been floating along the outskirts of the social realm for too long. The only logical conclusion is that it is innate, biological; the very thing the ecosystem of human society will select against. This is me, and the air I breathe in and out, the blood pumping through me-all of it, all of me-feels heavy, sharp, and cold.)
and, just like every other time, it came crashing down on me really fucking hard.