.purge.

[disc0nnected]

i want to shut you out, shut everyone out, shut myself out. i don't want to feel this anymore. when i'm good, i'm good, but the lows are so fucking low. it's mostly when i have time to think...the times i can't distract myself from reality, from my fucking pathetic life. my beautiful face distorted by self-loathing. get your shit together, mel. get it together.

i am fading away. i am letting myself fade...
i am disappearing, dying...
my light is growing dim...and i don't care anymore.
because i don't care and i don't care and i don't care. the end.

.i am done trying.