Fic: Little Secrets [2/?] (Glee, Rachel/Quinn)
Title: Little Secrets
Author: disasteral_boys
Fandom: Glee
Paring: Rachel/Quinn
Rating: R (For swearing and angst)
Length: 3093
Spoilers: 1x20 Theatricality
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Summary: Angst. Quinn Fabray is happy living a lie until High School ends. That is, until someone finds out.
Author's Note: As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts/feedback on the story, it gets quite dark and it'd be interesting to hear your views on it :)
[ one ]
Author's Note 2: [EDIT] I don't know what I was doing when I relentlessly 'checked' this, but I've corrected the tense inconsistency's now :)
Quinn did her best not to think about it at school the next day. It was easier said than done.
She flinched every time she turned a corner and saw Steven by his locker with his friends, laughing about whoever is unfortunate enough to be their current victim. Quinn couldn't help but think that she was this week’s target.
Desperate to avoid Steven, she turned back around the corner and pressed her back flat against a wall of lockers. She was petrified, worried that a single glance with Steven’s eyes would result in him announcing her secret to everyone in the corridor.
She envisioned the crowd turning to stare at her, shock plastered onto their faces, and fingers, hundreds of fingers, pointed at her accusingly and laughing so deep that they shook Quinn’s body to her bones. She envisioned her heart shattering into thousands of pieces and being scattered over the floor and suddenly everyone was walking to class, carelessly stepping on the pieces of Quinn’s heart, the pressure breaking them even further, like shards of glass. And then, Quinn was alone.
The corridor was dark and haunting. She heard another laugh, a sweet laugh that spread warmth through her veins and all the way to the tips of her fingers. Quinn turned swiftly to see Rachel standing there, luminous, with her chestnut-coloured hair flowing and her eyes glossed with happiness. She saw Finn next to her infatuation, his arm wrapped around her, his face beaming down at her and Rachel’s warm eyes gazing up at his own. Quinn felt pain seeping through and diffusing the warmth; with her heart already asunder, an emptiness in her chest and hollowness in her stomach coarsed through her instead, breaking her down even further than she knew was possible.
Unexpectedly, it’s as though the lights had been turned on in the corridor again and Quinn was pulled back into reality. She was still against the lockers with her breathing shallow and quick, and an unquenchable ache in her chest. She cautiously turned her head and sighed with relief when she saw that Steven had gone. Quinn wished he had taken her fear with him.
***
It wasn't just the voice in her ear that followed her around anymore and creeped up behind her, Quinn could actually feel someone watching her. She could feel pairs of eyes on her back and she could hear hushed whispers floating through the air that are provoking her to act. Quinn tries to brush it off as a bout of paranoia but that didn’t stop her heart palpitating furiously each time she brushed by a member of the football team, or the haunting, elegiac nightmare that evening that woke her up too early and coated her body in a cool sweat.
When Quinn was shaken out of her nightmare, her chest heaving to take in deep breaths of air, a single tear fell down her cheek and onto the pillow underneath it.
I need to tell someone, she thought, her left arm wrapping her over her waist and the back of her right hand gently brushing away her lone tear, like how she wishes someone else would do. I can’t do this alone.
***
Quinn thanked God that the next day was a Saturday. Two days at home feels like two days in heaven in comparison to school.
Her parents had left early that morning, they were taking a trip to Pittsburgh for the week, so Quinn had the house to herself.
Despite a disruptive night of sleep, Quinn woke up soon after her parents, determined not to fall asleep again and be subjected to the images in her subconscious.
After having showered and eaten, Quinn curled up on a couch in the living room and let her mind flow. ‘Who can I tell?’ she sighs, faces speeding through her mind like pages in a photo album.
The first face that came to the forefront was that of Rachel Berry’s but it was dismissed as quickly as it appeared. It’s simple. Quinn didn't want Rachel to know of her feelings. This… situation already risked her losing so much and Quinn couldn't bear the thought of losing a friend, of losing Rachel, too. So Rachel’s out, Quinn thought, slumping back against the couch.
Finn? Quinn laughed that thought off. Although Finn and Quinn’s relationship wasn’t as bad as it had been when Finn had found out he wasn’t the father of Beth, it still couldn’t be called a friendship. They were acquaintances; a friendly comment here or there but neither amiability nor hatred was present. He’d probably take the fact that she was gay as a personal insult and that was the last thing Quinn wanted. Besides, Finn was still set on Rachel, following her around like a puppy dog and sometimes attempting to serenade Rachel at Glee, causing second-hand embarrassment for everyone else whenever Rachel refused his offer. ‘He’d probably really hate me if I told him I was a lesbian AND told him that I liked Rachel, so definitely not Finn,’ Quinn concluded.
Ok, so… Puck? Again, he wasn’t a good choice. Quinn and Puck’s relationship was well… not much really, not since Puck was still stung from the fact that she didn’t want to date him. Quinn doubted he’d understand, or take well to the news that she was a lesbian.
Quinn’s thoughts landed on Brittany and Santana but her heart sank as she realised that they physically could not do anything. Sure, Santana was fear inducing, but two girls up against a whole football team? It just wouldn’t work, no matter how biting Santana’s words were.
Quinn shifted to lie on her back on the couch. ‘What can anyone do?’ Quinn thought in desperation. She knew then that there was nothing anyone could do. The football team knew and they wouldn’t rest until her secret was out, Quinn was sure of it.
Quinn jumped up and onto her feet, the familiar feeling of fear creeping back into her stomach. She was desperate now. The unsettling sense of solitary was breaking the surface once again and Quinn knew that she needed another voice in this.
‘But maybe I don’t have to tell someone I know,” Quinn thought quickly. She’d walked by Miss Pillsbury’s office on Friday and contemplated talking to her but hadn’t been able to face up to the thought of telling her. What Steven and his friends were doing would probably be seen as bullying and then Principal Figgins would have to be informed and then the team would be accosted and condemned, and the situation would end up much worse for Quinn. The football team wouldn’t take to kindly to her ‘ratting them out’.
However, outside the office she’d seen a bulletin board and fixed upon it had been a list of help lines; suddenly Quinn had an answer. She grabbed the house phone and then raced to her laptop, flipping up the lid. Within seconds, she’d found the number for a local LGBT helpline.
Hesitating, her fingers dialled the number and her hand shook as she brought the phone to her ear.
“Hello?” the voice on the other side said.
Quinn couldn’t respond; something had broken within her. She mumbled an “um” and then stood there, her hand gripping the phone tightly. She could feel something rumbling inside her, emotions that were waiting to be poured out. But they were stuck. Her throat was blocked and Quinn stood there helplessly, desperate to say something but finding it so difficult.
“Um,” she said again, a little higher this time. Oh God. Quinn was on the brink of tears and she bent her knees a little and flapped her other hand, frustrated with herself. But the words were unwilling to come out.
This was simply overwhelming; how there was finally someone there who was willing to listen to her, how finally she could tell another soul, instead of writing everything down, how she could finally relieve some of her burden.
Quinn Fabray burst into tears.
“Hi,” Quinn said thickly through her crying. The man on the other end was patient.
“I’m so sorry,” Quinn stated, not bothering to wipe away her tears since they were coming down so rapidly.
“It’s okay,” the man said, calmly.
And so, Quinn finally let out her secret, on her own terms.
She could feel the burden pouring out of her with every word, she could feel every emotion jolting through her bones and entering her voice and she could feel the relief, the relief that she wasn’t alone and that she had someone to talk to, even if he was a stranger.
Saying it out loud was strange; it didn’t even feel as though Quinn was talking about her own life, it didn’t seem real that all this had happened to her. But saying it out loud gave her the strength she so desperately needed.
***
Quinn was standing outside the front entrance to school, breathing in the crisp autumn air, the cool wind soothing her tense muscles. She needed to relax before Glee; she’d be on the edge all day. The anonymous phone calls had been an every day reoccurrence until today; today she hadn’t received a single one.
She thought that maybe the callers had given up but Quinn wasn’t naïve enough to believe that. She then thought that they were lulling her into a false sense of security as though they were preparing to attack. For the first time, Quinn wanted them call.
She heard the snap of a twig behind her and Quinn was alert, her head whipping around to check if there was anything there. There was nothing.
She turned back in time to see two large shadows approach her. Quinn was so scared that her voice was stuck in her throat and she stepped backwards, hitting the wall behind her.
Two large hands reached for her and then Quinn was off the ground and onto Karofsky’s shoulder. Quinn found her voice and screamed, knocking her feet into him as hard as she could and pounding her fists into his back. He gripped her even tighter so that his fingers were grasping her skin and not just fabric. She winced but keept on kicking and screaming. No one heard.
“Please,” she cried, “Please, don’t do this.”
Karofsky didn’t respond and she thinks she heard Steven Miller chuckle in amongst her screams. In desperation Quinn bit Karofsky’s shoulder and kicked his stomach with all her strength.
“Fuck!“ Karofsky shouted, but he didn’t loosen his grip around Quinn, walking faster to wherever he is taking her. Quinn was hysterical, tears streaming faster than ever before and her whole body was shaking because of how fast her heart was hitting against her chest.
Miller lifted the lid to a dumpster that is almost full and Karofsky threw Quinn into it.
Tears were flooding Quinn’s cheek faster and she tried to scramble out of her prison but Karofsky pushed her head, hard, and then the lid came down, engulfing Quinn in a torturous darkness.
The darkness that surrounds Quinn made her feel as though she had been thrown into a deep, frosty sea. Her hands pushed against the surface, frantic against the lid of the dumpster, but she heard a heavy thump above her head and knew that her perpetrators had lifted obstacles onto the lid to prevent her from escaping. Quinn continued to scream with everything that she had, even though her throat was sore and rough, pleading with every word. As Quinn heard more objects being lifted onto the lid, she punched the walls of the dumpster feverishly so hard her knuckles begin to bleed.
“You’re a freak, Quinn Fabray,” she heard one of them shout over her screams.
“First you get pregnant, and now this? Can you not make up your fucking mind? Either you own up and tell everyone that you’re a fucking dyke, or we will. Either way, your secret’s coming out, Fabray.”
The voice spread through her bones and violated every inch of her body. It settled in her head and the words kept on booming in her ears, from inside, so she couldn't shut out the sound.
And once again, Quinn was alone. She drew her knees to her chest and her entire body was shaking, her hands were clutching opposite arms and her hand was bowed between her knees. Her face was stained with dried tears and her ducts were emptying, so then only a single tear began to slide down her right cheek gently, hitting her hand like a bullet when it dropped off her jaw.
***
Rachel walked out of McKinley High and towards her car, humming softly under her breath. She’d left Glee early, which she knew was blasphemous, but she’d been so distracted that she dedicated it would be best to clear her head and practice extra hard tomorrow.
The truth was, Rachel was worried about Quinn. Recently, Quinn never seemed to be there. She was there in body, but not in mind anyway. She seemed almost… lifeless.
Quinn had never been one for talking about her feelings easily and Rachel guessed that, despite their friendship, Rachel would not be Quinn’s first choice if she ever did decide to confide. Yet after not seeing Quinn at Glee today, Rachel had decided that action must be taken and that she had to find out what was wrong with Quinn. She planned on going to see Quinn later that evening in an attempt to find out.
Rachel was almost at her car when she heard an unremitting thumping coming from somewhere near her. She spun around wildly but couldn’t source the sounds.
But then Rachel heard the most painful cry Rachel thought she’d ever heard and almost fell to the floor. She froze and turned towards the dumpsters. One of them had large boxes placed over the lid.
‘No. It couldn’t be,’ Rachel thought, as she began walking towards it.
As she got closer, the cries got louder and Rachel felt her own tears rising to her eyes because the sounds were just so tortured.
Without a second of thought, Rachel struggled and lifted the heavy boxes off of the lid, staggering backwards with each due to their weight. Her heart raced as she took off the last box and lifted the lid to the dumpster. Rachel’s heart stopped beating.
The fragile shell of Quinn Fabray sat inside; her knees to her chest, looking smaller and more vulnerable than Rachel had ever seen anyone. Rachel couldn’t believe the image before her. She finally found words and whispered,
“Quinn.” Quinn looked up at her and their eyes met, as Rachel’s own tears began to fall. The look Quinn gave her was haunting and Rachel felt her knees buckling as Quinn’s eyes flashed with pain.
Rachel leant in and wrapped her arms around Quinn, lifting her up onto her legs with every inch of strength she had. Quinn shuddered at her touch and Rachel couldn’t breathe once again when she felt the ache as she held Quinn against her.
She helped Quinn out of the dumpster slowly and onto her feet, before Quinn crumpled and fell to the ground in a heap. She curled up again, wrapping her arms around her body as if she were trying to make herself as small as possible, as if she were trying to disappear.
“Quinn!” Rachel gasped as she fell to her own knees without hesitation and wrapped her arms around the broken girl. She felt Quinn bury her head into her shoulder and her body shook with every shake of Quinn’s own. Rachel closed her eyes and held back her own sobs as she whispered into Quinn’s ear over and over,
“It’s okay Quinn, it’s going to be okay, I promise.”
Neither knew how long they were there on the ground of the car park, huddled together so close, with Quinn locked tightly in Rachel’s embrace. With her arms around Quinn, Rachel could almost feel the pain in Quinn’s body pressing against her. In that moment, Rachel knew that she would do everything she could to prevent Quinn from ever feeling like this again.
"You're staying at my house tonight," Rachel said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Quinn didn't protest; she felt more comfort being in the brunette's arms than she'd felt in weeks, months even. Rachel stood up and then gently helped up Quinn, before wrapping her arm around the taller girl and walking slowly to Rachel's car.
Rachel pulled open the passenger door and helped Quinn into the seat, before getting into the driver's side. She gave a smile to Quinn, Rachel's hand gently resting on top of Quinn's for a moment as if to say; I'm here for you.
***
When Rachel's parents opened the door, they were surprised to see their daughter supporting a taller, blonde girl around her waist. The girl had clearly been crying and her eyes held a sadness that broke both their hearts.
"Hi, come on in," one of them said gently, ushering them into the comfort of the Berry household without a question.
Rachel led Quinn to the guest bedroom and gave her a pair of pajamas, toiletries and a glass of water, setting them down on the bedside table.
Quinn sat at the top of the bed, quietly breathing in, still not believing that this afternoon had even happened. It didn’t even seem real. How could this be her life?
Rachel sat down at the edge of the bed and looked up at her.
"Look, I know you probably don't want to talk about it, and I respect that, but I just want you to know that I'm ready to listen, whenever, if ever you want to confide in me. I can't imagine what you are going through and I want you to know that I'm here, Quinn. I'm always going to be here." Rachel finished her monologue and began picking at the blanket at the bottom of the bed but her eyes were still trained on Quinn.
"Thank you." Quinn said, the first words to leave her mouth since Rachel had found her. Rachel nodded quickly.
"You can stay here as long as you want to; you're always welcome here," Rachel said, smiling again. She hesitantly moved forward across the bed and reached for Quinn's hand. They were both silent for a few moments before Rachel quickly removed her hand and got up off the bed.
"Well, I imagine you want to rest now, but I can wake you up later for something to eat; my Dad's made his world famous lasagna for dinner," Rachel said softly.
She took one last look at Quinn and then began walking away, stopping when she heard a quiet voice saying her name. Rachel turned back to see Quinn looking up at her with sad, scared eyes.
"Will you... could you stay here with me? Until I fall asleep?" Quinn said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Rachel nodded and slowly moved towards the bed. Quinn went under the covers, turning onto her side, and closed her eyes, her breaths shaky and restless. Without a word, Rachel slipped under the covers and moved behind Quinn.
She moved a shaking hand up to Quinn's cheek and wiped away the lone tear with the back of her hand before wrapping her arm around Quinn's waist, tight and securing. She felt Quinn settle into her, shivering slightly, and Rachel lay there until long after Quinn's breathing had slowed and deepened.
***
Author: disasteral_boys
Fandom: Glee
Paring: Rachel/Quinn
Rating: R (For swearing and angst)
Length: 3093
Spoilers: 1x20 Theatricality
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Summary: Angst. Quinn Fabray is happy living a lie until High School ends. That is, until someone finds out.
Author's Note: As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts/feedback on the story, it gets quite dark and it'd be interesting to hear your views on it :)
[ one ]
Author's Note 2: [EDIT] I don't know what I was doing when I relentlessly 'checked' this, but I've corrected the tense inconsistency's now :)
Quinn did her best not to think about it at school the next day. It was easier said than done.
She flinched every time she turned a corner and saw Steven by his locker with his friends, laughing about whoever is unfortunate enough to be their current victim. Quinn couldn't help but think that she was this week’s target.
Desperate to avoid Steven, she turned back around the corner and pressed her back flat against a wall of lockers. She was petrified, worried that a single glance with Steven’s eyes would result in him announcing her secret to everyone in the corridor.
She envisioned the crowd turning to stare at her, shock plastered onto their faces, and fingers, hundreds of fingers, pointed at her accusingly and laughing so deep that they shook Quinn’s body to her bones. She envisioned her heart shattering into thousands of pieces and being scattered over the floor and suddenly everyone was walking to class, carelessly stepping on the pieces of Quinn’s heart, the pressure breaking them even further, like shards of glass. And then, Quinn was alone.
The corridor was dark and haunting. She heard another laugh, a sweet laugh that spread warmth through her veins and all the way to the tips of her fingers. Quinn turned swiftly to see Rachel standing there, luminous, with her chestnut-coloured hair flowing and her eyes glossed with happiness. She saw Finn next to her infatuation, his arm wrapped around her, his face beaming down at her and Rachel’s warm eyes gazing up at his own. Quinn felt pain seeping through and diffusing the warmth; with her heart already asunder, an emptiness in her chest and hollowness in her stomach coarsed through her instead, breaking her down even further than she knew was possible.
Unexpectedly, it’s as though the lights had been turned on in the corridor again and Quinn was pulled back into reality. She was still against the lockers with her breathing shallow and quick, and an unquenchable ache in her chest. She cautiously turned her head and sighed with relief when she saw that Steven had gone. Quinn wished he had taken her fear with him.
***
It wasn't just the voice in her ear that followed her around anymore and creeped up behind her, Quinn could actually feel someone watching her. She could feel pairs of eyes on her back and she could hear hushed whispers floating through the air that are provoking her to act. Quinn tries to brush it off as a bout of paranoia but that didn’t stop her heart palpitating furiously each time she brushed by a member of the football team, or the haunting, elegiac nightmare that evening that woke her up too early and coated her body in a cool sweat.
When Quinn was shaken out of her nightmare, her chest heaving to take in deep breaths of air, a single tear fell down her cheek and onto the pillow underneath it.
I need to tell someone, she thought, her left arm wrapping her over her waist and the back of her right hand gently brushing away her lone tear, like how she wishes someone else would do. I can’t do this alone.
***
Quinn thanked God that the next day was a Saturday. Two days at home feels like two days in heaven in comparison to school.
Her parents had left early that morning, they were taking a trip to Pittsburgh for the week, so Quinn had the house to herself.
Despite a disruptive night of sleep, Quinn woke up soon after her parents, determined not to fall asleep again and be subjected to the images in her subconscious.
After having showered and eaten, Quinn curled up on a couch in the living room and let her mind flow. ‘Who can I tell?’ she sighs, faces speeding through her mind like pages in a photo album.
The first face that came to the forefront was that of Rachel Berry’s but it was dismissed as quickly as it appeared. It’s simple. Quinn didn't want Rachel to know of her feelings. This… situation already risked her losing so much and Quinn couldn't bear the thought of losing a friend, of losing Rachel, too. So Rachel’s out, Quinn thought, slumping back against the couch.
Finn? Quinn laughed that thought off. Although Finn and Quinn’s relationship wasn’t as bad as it had been when Finn had found out he wasn’t the father of Beth, it still couldn’t be called a friendship. They were acquaintances; a friendly comment here or there but neither amiability nor hatred was present. He’d probably take the fact that she was gay as a personal insult and that was the last thing Quinn wanted. Besides, Finn was still set on Rachel, following her around like a puppy dog and sometimes attempting to serenade Rachel at Glee, causing second-hand embarrassment for everyone else whenever Rachel refused his offer. ‘He’d probably really hate me if I told him I was a lesbian AND told him that I liked Rachel, so definitely not Finn,’ Quinn concluded.
Ok, so… Puck? Again, he wasn’t a good choice. Quinn and Puck’s relationship was well… not much really, not since Puck was still stung from the fact that she didn’t want to date him. Quinn doubted he’d understand, or take well to the news that she was a lesbian.
Quinn’s thoughts landed on Brittany and Santana but her heart sank as she realised that they physically could not do anything. Sure, Santana was fear inducing, but two girls up against a whole football team? It just wouldn’t work, no matter how biting Santana’s words were.
Quinn shifted to lie on her back on the couch. ‘What can anyone do?’ Quinn thought in desperation. She knew then that there was nothing anyone could do. The football team knew and they wouldn’t rest until her secret was out, Quinn was sure of it.
Quinn jumped up and onto her feet, the familiar feeling of fear creeping back into her stomach. She was desperate now. The unsettling sense of solitary was breaking the surface once again and Quinn knew that she needed another voice in this.
‘But maybe I don’t have to tell someone I know,” Quinn thought quickly. She’d walked by Miss Pillsbury’s office on Friday and contemplated talking to her but hadn’t been able to face up to the thought of telling her. What Steven and his friends were doing would probably be seen as bullying and then Principal Figgins would have to be informed and then the team would be accosted and condemned, and the situation would end up much worse for Quinn. The football team wouldn’t take to kindly to her ‘ratting them out’.
However, outside the office she’d seen a bulletin board and fixed upon it had been a list of help lines; suddenly Quinn had an answer. She grabbed the house phone and then raced to her laptop, flipping up the lid. Within seconds, she’d found the number for a local LGBT helpline.
Hesitating, her fingers dialled the number and her hand shook as she brought the phone to her ear.
“Hello?” the voice on the other side said.
Quinn couldn’t respond; something had broken within her. She mumbled an “um” and then stood there, her hand gripping the phone tightly. She could feel something rumbling inside her, emotions that were waiting to be poured out. But they were stuck. Her throat was blocked and Quinn stood there helplessly, desperate to say something but finding it so difficult.
“Um,” she said again, a little higher this time. Oh God. Quinn was on the brink of tears and she bent her knees a little and flapped her other hand, frustrated with herself. But the words were unwilling to come out.
This was simply overwhelming; how there was finally someone there who was willing to listen to her, how finally she could tell another soul, instead of writing everything down, how she could finally relieve some of her burden.
Quinn Fabray burst into tears.
“Hi,” Quinn said thickly through her crying. The man on the other end was patient.
“I’m so sorry,” Quinn stated, not bothering to wipe away her tears since they were coming down so rapidly.
“It’s okay,” the man said, calmly.
And so, Quinn finally let out her secret, on her own terms.
She could feel the burden pouring out of her with every word, she could feel every emotion jolting through her bones and entering her voice and she could feel the relief, the relief that she wasn’t alone and that she had someone to talk to, even if he was a stranger.
Saying it out loud was strange; it didn’t even feel as though Quinn was talking about her own life, it didn’t seem real that all this had happened to her. But saying it out loud gave her the strength she so desperately needed.
***
Quinn was standing outside the front entrance to school, breathing in the crisp autumn air, the cool wind soothing her tense muscles. She needed to relax before Glee; she’d be on the edge all day. The anonymous phone calls had been an every day reoccurrence until today; today she hadn’t received a single one.
She thought that maybe the callers had given up but Quinn wasn’t naïve enough to believe that. She then thought that they were lulling her into a false sense of security as though they were preparing to attack. For the first time, Quinn wanted them call.
She heard the snap of a twig behind her and Quinn was alert, her head whipping around to check if there was anything there. There was nothing.
She turned back in time to see two large shadows approach her. Quinn was so scared that her voice was stuck in her throat and she stepped backwards, hitting the wall behind her.
Two large hands reached for her and then Quinn was off the ground and onto Karofsky’s shoulder. Quinn found her voice and screamed, knocking her feet into him as hard as she could and pounding her fists into his back. He gripped her even tighter so that his fingers were grasping her skin and not just fabric. She winced but keept on kicking and screaming. No one heard.
“Please,” she cried, “Please, don’t do this.”
Karofsky didn’t respond and she thinks she heard Steven Miller chuckle in amongst her screams. In desperation Quinn bit Karofsky’s shoulder and kicked his stomach with all her strength.
“Fuck!“ Karofsky shouted, but he didn’t loosen his grip around Quinn, walking faster to wherever he is taking her. Quinn was hysterical, tears streaming faster than ever before and her whole body was shaking because of how fast her heart was hitting against her chest.
Miller lifted the lid to a dumpster that is almost full and Karofsky threw Quinn into it.
Tears were flooding Quinn’s cheek faster and she tried to scramble out of her prison but Karofsky pushed her head, hard, and then the lid came down, engulfing Quinn in a torturous darkness.
The darkness that surrounds Quinn made her feel as though she had been thrown into a deep, frosty sea. Her hands pushed against the surface, frantic against the lid of the dumpster, but she heard a heavy thump above her head and knew that her perpetrators had lifted obstacles onto the lid to prevent her from escaping. Quinn continued to scream with everything that she had, even though her throat was sore and rough, pleading with every word. As Quinn heard more objects being lifted onto the lid, she punched the walls of the dumpster feverishly so hard her knuckles begin to bleed.
“You’re a freak, Quinn Fabray,” she heard one of them shout over her screams.
“First you get pregnant, and now this? Can you not make up your fucking mind? Either you own up and tell everyone that you’re a fucking dyke, or we will. Either way, your secret’s coming out, Fabray.”
The voice spread through her bones and violated every inch of her body. It settled in her head and the words kept on booming in her ears, from inside, so she couldn't shut out the sound.
And once again, Quinn was alone. She drew her knees to her chest and her entire body was shaking, her hands were clutching opposite arms and her hand was bowed between her knees. Her face was stained with dried tears and her ducts were emptying, so then only a single tear began to slide down her right cheek gently, hitting her hand like a bullet when it dropped off her jaw.
***
Rachel walked out of McKinley High and towards her car, humming softly under her breath. She’d left Glee early, which she knew was blasphemous, but she’d been so distracted that she dedicated it would be best to clear her head and practice extra hard tomorrow.
The truth was, Rachel was worried about Quinn. Recently, Quinn never seemed to be there. She was there in body, but not in mind anyway. She seemed almost… lifeless.
Quinn had never been one for talking about her feelings easily and Rachel guessed that, despite their friendship, Rachel would not be Quinn’s first choice if she ever did decide to confide. Yet after not seeing Quinn at Glee today, Rachel had decided that action must be taken and that she had to find out what was wrong with Quinn. She planned on going to see Quinn later that evening in an attempt to find out.
Rachel was almost at her car when she heard an unremitting thumping coming from somewhere near her. She spun around wildly but couldn’t source the sounds.
But then Rachel heard the most painful cry Rachel thought she’d ever heard and almost fell to the floor. She froze and turned towards the dumpsters. One of them had large boxes placed over the lid.
‘No. It couldn’t be,’ Rachel thought, as she began walking towards it.
As she got closer, the cries got louder and Rachel felt her own tears rising to her eyes because the sounds were just so tortured.
Without a second of thought, Rachel struggled and lifted the heavy boxes off of the lid, staggering backwards with each due to their weight. Her heart raced as she took off the last box and lifted the lid to the dumpster. Rachel’s heart stopped beating.
The fragile shell of Quinn Fabray sat inside; her knees to her chest, looking smaller and more vulnerable than Rachel had ever seen anyone. Rachel couldn’t believe the image before her. She finally found words and whispered,
“Quinn.” Quinn looked up at her and their eyes met, as Rachel’s own tears began to fall. The look Quinn gave her was haunting and Rachel felt her knees buckling as Quinn’s eyes flashed with pain.
Rachel leant in and wrapped her arms around Quinn, lifting her up onto her legs with every inch of strength she had. Quinn shuddered at her touch and Rachel couldn’t breathe once again when she felt the ache as she held Quinn against her.
She helped Quinn out of the dumpster slowly and onto her feet, before Quinn crumpled and fell to the ground in a heap. She curled up again, wrapping her arms around her body as if she were trying to make herself as small as possible, as if she were trying to disappear.
“Quinn!” Rachel gasped as she fell to her own knees without hesitation and wrapped her arms around the broken girl. She felt Quinn bury her head into her shoulder and her body shook with every shake of Quinn’s own. Rachel closed her eyes and held back her own sobs as she whispered into Quinn’s ear over and over,
“It’s okay Quinn, it’s going to be okay, I promise.”
Neither knew how long they were there on the ground of the car park, huddled together so close, with Quinn locked tightly in Rachel’s embrace. With her arms around Quinn, Rachel could almost feel the pain in Quinn’s body pressing against her. In that moment, Rachel knew that she would do everything she could to prevent Quinn from ever feeling like this again.
"You're staying at my house tonight," Rachel said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Quinn didn't protest; she felt more comfort being in the brunette's arms than she'd felt in weeks, months even. Rachel stood up and then gently helped up Quinn, before wrapping her arm around the taller girl and walking slowly to Rachel's car.
Rachel pulled open the passenger door and helped Quinn into the seat, before getting into the driver's side. She gave a smile to Quinn, Rachel's hand gently resting on top of Quinn's for a moment as if to say; I'm here for you.
***
When Rachel's parents opened the door, they were surprised to see their daughter supporting a taller, blonde girl around her waist. The girl had clearly been crying and her eyes held a sadness that broke both their hearts.
"Hi, come on in," one of them said gently, ushering them into the comfort of the Berry household without a question.
Rachel led Quinn to the guest bedroom and gave her a pair of pajamas, toiletries and a glass of water, setting them down on the bedside table.
Quinn sat at the top of the bed, quietly breathing in, still not believing that this afternoon had even happened. It didn’t even seem real. How could this be her life?
Rachel sat down at the edge of the bed and looked up at her.
"Look, I know you probably don't want to talk about it, and I respect that, but I just want you to know that I'm ready to listen, whenever, if ever you want to confide in me. I can't imagine what you are going through and I want you to know that I'm here, Quinn. I'm always going to be here." Rachel finished her monologue and began picking at the blanket at the bottom of the bed but her eyes were still trained on Quinn.
"Thank you." Quinn said, the first words to leave her mouth since Rachel had found her. Rachel nodded quickly.
"You can stay here as long as you want to; you're always welcome here," Rachel said, smiling again. She hesitantly moved forward across the bed and reached for Quinn's hand. They were both silent for a few moments before Rachel quickly removed her hand and got up off the bed.
"Well, I imagine you want to rest now, but I can wake you up later for something to eat; my Dad's made his world famous lasagna for dinner," Rachel said softly.
She took one last look at Quinn and then began walking away, stopping when she heard a quiet voice saying her name. Rachel turned back to see Quinn looking up at her with sad, scared eyes.
"Will you... could you stay here with me? Until I fall asleep?" Quinn said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Rachel nodded and slowly moved towards the bed. Quinn went under the covers, turning onto her side, and closed her eyes, her breaths shaky and restless. Without a word, Rachel slipped under the covers and moved behind Quinn.
She moved a shaking hand up to Quinn's cheek and wiped away the lone tear with the back of her hand before wrapping her arm around Quinn's waist, tight and securing. She felt Quinn settle into her, shivering slightly, and Rachel lay there until long after Quinn's breathing had slowed and deepened.
***