P.S., I'm still not feeling great, so this may again be incoherent
I was looking through my journal at the posts I've started and never finished, and I came across one from December (which started by saying, I changed my belly button ring. I had left the other one in for a while, and it was seriously the weirdest feeling pulling it out, like my kidneys were getting tickled or something. Or, kidneys are far back, right? Some organ that is close to the belly button. Oh, self.) that was talking about the same thing that I started talking about in a post from last week. Watch this end up being yet another post that I don't actually finish, but, anyway. Here we go!
I've got whatever the opositive of a dubcon kink is called. I don't even think there's a word for it. (Jen calls it my choosing kink. From December:
(5:59:13 PM) disarm_d: it'd be awesome because Shane could totally give him two options, and Brendon would choose spanking
(5:59:17 PM) disarm_d: and that would be awesome
(5:59:19 PM) disarm_d: and safe!
(5:59:20 PM) airgiodslv: \o/
(5:59:27 PM) disarm_d: Shane isn't forcing Brendon into anything
(5:59:29 PM) airgiodslv: I love your choosing kink. )
I'm not squicked by dubcon; I think it can be pretty hot if someone writes it as an intentional kink in a story. I'm more likely to be squicked by unacknowledged dubcon themes than actual dubcon scenes (actual power differentials mixed with power play really don't sit well with me.
It's not a, the opposite of a dubcon kink is a dubcon squick, thing, but, yeah. Choosing!
I'd read the shit out of a story where Brendon and Spencer are hooking up a little while on tour (do you know what one of my favorite things about Spencer is? I was thinking about this while I was eating poriage. Spencer is an incredibly confident person! I was thinking about that interview with Out. Spencer's so completely secure in his sexuality, and that's totally an attractive characteristic in someone.) and it's been a few months, and they've got a hotel night, and Spencer pulls out the lube, and Brendon's all, *nervous laughter* "So you really like your dick wet for handjobs?"
And Spencer's like, "Oh ho! Assfucking! Ahoy!"
And Brendon has that whole, "Whoa, hello. No thank you, the applebottom will not be penetrated."
So Spencer's all, "Yeah, cool, lube me up, Scotty." He bottoms and he's very vocal about what feels good and what doesn't, and by the time Brendon actually achieves intercourse with Spencer's ass, Spencer's ass is very willing and happy to receive Brendon's dick.
So, anyway, yeah. Spencer bottoms, and it totes feels good, and he's a happy little camper, and he doesn't put any pressure on Brendon to bottom or anything.
Spencer seems to like it though. Brendon's blowing him, and Spencer asks for a couple of fingers. Brendon's a little surprised, because it's fingers just for the sake of fingers, not like Spencer needs to be stretched so that they can fuck. Afterwards Brendon kind of hints around, asking if Spencer likes it. Spencer's like, "Well, duh, I like it. Why else would I do it?"
Brendon asks if it feels good, and Spencer says it does, and Brendon makes a little thinky face, and waits for Spencer to offer to show him, but Spencer doesn't.
Brendon tries to finger himself, but there's very little room in his bunk (he feels like he's going to have to put his leg above his head or something, before he'll be able to get the angle right), and also he keeps almost crushing his balls with his forearm as he tries to get his fingers inside, and it's just not as satisfying as he would have hoped.
The next time he and Spencer are fooling around, he's still thinking about it and still thinking about it, and finally he says something like, "Well, whatever, I guess fair's fair, so you can fuck me if you want to."
Spencer says, "Nah. I'm cool with bottoming; you don't have to do me any favours."
It takes Brendon a number of days and a few more hookups before he says anything again. He and Spencer are making out - that's one of the best things about the setup they have: even though they've been fooling around for ages now, they'll still spend so much time just kissing. Brendon's face is starting to feel like it's been rubbed raw from Spencer's beard, and the friction his cock gets from rubbing up against Spencer's thigh is nowhere near enough. Brendon likes nights like this, when it's almost a contest to see who breaks first and moves them past the kissing.
He surprises himself by blurting out, "I want to try tonight."
Spencer says, "What?"
Brendon kisses Spencer and says, "You know," but Spencer just shrugs.
Brendon ducks his head and presses his face into Spencer's neck, and mumbles, "I want to try-- for you to, with your fingers," in Spencer's collarbone.
And then, whatever, Brendon bottoming for the first time. I've written that about a million times before. [insert porn for any of a dozen stories here.]
Because I think that moment where someone actually admits that they want something is ridiculously hot! That sexytimes are only happening because the person is actively making them happen.
It's almost harder to admit to wanting something than to just go along with what another person wants, so this totally fits under my favorite umbrella of Sexy Shame in stories! \o/ Everything about it is awesome, except that I don't know what to call it.
Also I really want a story where Shane says, jokingly, that next time Brendon leaves his wet towel balled up on the floor, he's going to put Brendon over his lap and spank him, and then the next day every single towel in the house is balled up on the bathroom floor, but I did say I would try to take a break from talking about Brendon/Shane as kinky boyfriends, so I will leave it at that.
I've got whatever the opositive of a dubcon kink is called. I don't even think there's a word for it. (Jen calls it my choosing kink. From December:
(5:59:13 PM) disarm_d: it'd be awesome because Shane could totally give him two options, and Brendon would choose spanking
(5:59:17 PM) disarm_d: and that would be awesome
(5:59:19 PM) disarm_d: and safe!
(5:59:20 PM) airgiodslv: \o/
(5:59:27 PM) disarm_d: Shane isn't forcing Brendon into anything
(5:59:29 PM) airgiodslv: I love your choosing kink. )
I'm not squicked by dubcon; I think it can be pretty hot if someone writes it as an intentional kink in a story. I'm more likely to be squicked by unacknowledged dubcon themes than actual dubcon scenes (actual power differentials mixed with power play really don't sit well with me.
It's not a, the opposite of a dubcon kink is a dubcon squick, thing, but, yeah. Choosing!
I'd read the shit out of a story where Brendon and Spencer are hooking up a little while on tour (do you know what one of my favorite things about Spencer is? I was thinking about this while I was eating poriage. Spencer is an incredibly confident person! I was thinking about that interview with Out. Spencer's so completely secure in his sexuality, and that's totally an attractive characteristic in someone.) and it's been a few months, and they've got a hotel night, and Spencer pulls out the lube, and Brendon's all, *nervous laughter* "So you really like your dick wet for handjobs?"
And Spencer's like, "Oh ho! Assfucking! Ahoy!"
And Brendon has that whole, "Whoa, hello. No thank you, the applebottom will not be penetrated."
So Spencer's all, "Yeah, cool, lube me up, Scotty." He bottoms and he's very vocal about what feels good and what doesn't, and by the time Brendon actually achieves intercourse with Spencer's ass, Spencer's ass is very willing and happy to receive Brendon's dick.
So, anyway, yeah. Spencer bottoms, and it totes feels good, and he's a happy little camper, and he doesn't put any pressure on Brendon to bottom or anything.
Spencer seems to like it though. Brendon's blowing him, and Spencer asks for a couple of fingers. Brendon's a little surprised, because it's fingers just for the sake of fingers, not like Spencer needs to be stretched so that they can fuck. Afterwards Brendon kind of hints around, asking if Spencer likes it. Spencer's like, "Well, duh, I like it. Why else would I do it?"
Brendon asks if it feels good, and Spencer says it does, and Brendon makes a little thinky face, and waits for Spencer to offer to show him, but Spencer doesn't.
Brendon tries to finger himself, but there's very little room in his bunk (he feels like he's going to have to put his leg above his head or something, before he'll be able to get the angle right), and also he keeps almost crushing his balls with his forearm as he tries to get his fingers inside, and it's just not as satisfying as he would have hoped.
The next time he and Spencer are fooling around, he's still thinking about it and still thinking about it, and finally he says something like, "Well, whatever, I guess fair's fair, so you can fuck me if you want to."
Spencer says, "Nah. I'm cool with bottoming; you don't have to do me any favours."
It takes Brendon a number of days and a few more hookups before he says anything again. He and Spencer are making out - that's one of the best things about the setup they have: even though they've been fooling around for ages now, they'll still spend so much time just kissing. Brendon's face is starting to feel like it's been rubbed raw from Spencer's beard, and the friction his cock gets from rubbing up against Spencer's thigh is nowhere near enough. Brendon likes nights like this, when it's almost a contest to see who breaks first and moves them past the kissing.
He surprises himself by blurting out, "I want to try tonight."
Spencer says, "What?"
Brendon kisses Spencer and says, "You know," but Spencer just shrugs.
Brendon ducks his head and presses his face into Spencer's neck, and mumbles, "I want to try-- for you to, with your fingers," in Spencer's collarbone.
And then, whatever, Brendon bottoming for the first time. I've written that about a million times before. [insert porn for any of a dozen stories here.]
Because I think that moment where someone actually admits that they want something is ridiculously hot! That sexytimes are only happening because the person is actively making them happen.
It's almost harder to admit to wanting something than to just go along with what another person wants, so this totally fits under my favorite umbrella of Sexy Shame in stories! \o/ Everything about it is awesome, except that I don't know what to call it.
Also I really want a story where Shane says, jokingly, that next time Brendon leaves his wet towel balled up on the floor, he's going to put Brendon over his lap and spank him, and then the next day every single towel in the house is balled up on the bathroom floor, but I did say I would try to take a break from talking about Brendon/Shane as kinky boyfriends, so I will leave it at that.