Not!Fic | Spencer/Brendon | 2000 words | R |
Heeeeeeeey there, lurkers who read my journal. I was feeling down a couple of days ago, so I wrote this to try and cheer myself up. It was posted friends locked, but I'm kind of sneaking it out publicly because I guess this almost counts as fic, and also I still have moments of guilt about going friends only. *la la la, backdates entry*
This would be sometime a little bit in the future, after Spencer and Haley have [hypothetically] broken up. Spencer and Brendon have been circling each other for a while (shhh, I'm trying to cheer myself up). In between getting together with Brendon and breaking up with Haley, Spencer fucks around in a reasonably discrete, but still blatantly obvious kind of way.
Spencer shows up at breakfast with rope burn around his wrists that Brendon can't stop staring at. Brendon's been tied up before, because girls like that sometimes and it's not like it's some great hardship for Brendon to just lie there and not do any work. But, Brendon's been tied up with scarves or shit like that, and being tied up was mostly just an excuse for the girl to spend a lot of time moving around the bed while she was still wearing her lingerie.
Spencer's wrists are rubbed raw though; there are parts that are a little scabbed, and also rings of bruises. Spencer bruises easily, but, still. He wasn't tied up with scarves.
Brendon spends a lot of time staring, and when it's just the two of them, sitting side by side on the couch, he reaches over and rubs his thumb over Spencer's wrist. Spencer doesn't push him away, or offer any explanation.
Brendon finally says, "What's this?" and Spencer says, "Just figuring some stuff out." The way he says it makes Brendon want to ask a million questions, but it also totally shuts down the conversation, and when Spencer rotates his wrist, Brendon lets him go.
It takes them a while to get together. They've always gotten along well enough, but the way they're close is changing, like it does with good friends when all of the sudden your lives actually line up, and it's someone you've known forever, but the relationship you have with them is new, suddenly. Spencer's waiting until he's all the way over Haley, though, because even though Brendon's making it pretty obvious that he'd be there for a rebound fuck, Spencer doesn't want that from someone he knows.
They pass over that initial stage of attraction and move into the thing where the low burn is always there, but it feels like it's always going to be there, like they're never actually going to get together. Except that one day Spencer stops fucking around and Brendon's still there. Brendon's used to pushing, just a little, and mostly only because he always knows that Spencer is going to push right back, but stop before anything actually happens. But, now, Spencer isn't pushing back, but he's not stopping anything either. It's a weird adjustment because Spencer's just open now, like Brendon can do whatever, but it's going to be for real now.
They end up doing more things together, just the two of them, and sometimes Spencer puts his arm over the back of the couch and ends up with it draped over Brendon's shoulders. Sometimes Brendon hugs Spencer and he doesn't let go and he doesn't try to hide that he's hard.
They've been circling each other for so long that it seems like it should be easier when they start dating for real, like they should just be able to dive into things, but there are still so many things to work out that they were just able to gloss over, before.
There's the awkward waiting while they both get STD tests, something they both decide to do, without actually going into any details about why they'd need one. And then the part where neither of them wants to wait six months so that they can be closer to sure, so they still use condoms anyway.
They have sex like they're both showing off, like they're actually happy to be sucking cock and they always swallow, and then they have sex like they're both holding back a little, like they comfortable enough with going through the motions, but they're still a little worried about pushing too far. And then they start actually talking. First about stuff they'd done, because that's a safer way to bring up things they want to do. They have sex in Spencer's backyard, bare skin sticking to the grass in the middle of the night. Brendon starts sucking Spencer off while he's still on the phone with Ryan. They see how many times they can get each other off in one night.
They spend more time talking about things they've done, more as a round about form of dirty talk than actually comparing sexual histories.
Brendon asks Spencer about the rope burn, one day, asks about what Spencer ended up figuring out, and this is the only thing that Spencer won't actually talk about. Spencer will jerk off while Brendon watches, watch with Brendon does the same, they'll share their porn with each other, breathing down each other's necks as they crowd in front of one laptop, but Spencer won't talk about this one thing. And, he won't talk about it in this really quiet way, where he doesn't not talk about it, and Brendon never realizes that Spencer's totally avoided answering his questions until the conversation is over.
Brendon figures that must mean that it's something that Spencer likes, but he won't admit to liking, so he buys some stupid kit like this. Baby's first bondage kit. He gives it to Spencer, and thinks that he's being all awesome and spontaneous, but Spencer gets this really weird look on his face, and still doesn't actually say anything.
They don't open up the kit, but Spencer pulls a scarf off the hanger on the way to their bed and passes it to Brendon and Brendon ties him to the headboards and sucks Spencer off for a really long time before riding him. Brendon feels kind of stupid the whole time he's doing it, and Spencer seems distant. Brendon's sitting on Spencer's cock, waiting as he gets used to the stretch (he didn't take as long getting himself ready as Spencer would have, and, also, it totally hurts more to be on top for some weird reason), when he says, "You don't want to be the one tied up, do you?"
Spencer shrugs, even though his arms are still stretch above his head.
Brendon leans forward, says, "I can untie you," but Spencer lifts his head a little, and says, "No, just keep going," and arches his hips, pushing his cock in a little deeper.
Brendon gasps and flexes around him. It's hard to move like this and Brendon doesn't know if he should brace his hands on Spencer's chest or on the bed. Or maybe on his own legs. It's hard to move like this.
Spencer looks up at him, and says, "After all that, and you're not going to get me off like this?" and he keeps staring, so Brendon keeps trying. He's exhausted and sweating by the end. It takes a really long time, but he does get Spencer off, even though he comes first, and for a minute he doesn't think that he's going to be able to keep going. Spencer said, "I want to see you touch yourself," and Brendon didn't think he was that close but Spencer started rocking up to meet him just before he realized how close to the edge he was, and Spencer just kept going even when Brendon realized that he should probably start holding himself back, and then it ended up being too late.
Brendon feels really weird after he's gotten Spencer untied. He can't settle, keeps reaching out, trying to fix the blankets, rubbing Spencer's wrists, even though Spencer's skin is obviously fine. Brendon tied him loose enough that he could have gotten away, if he wanted to. Brendon feels nervous, kind of, and Spencer's really quiet. Eventually, Spencer throws an arm around Brendon's waist and doesn't move or let Brendon move, even when Brendon starts wiggling, and they both manage to fall asleep.
A couple days later, Brendon puts the kit on the bed and tells Spencer that he can tie him up. Spencer shakes his head. Brendon says, "No, seriously," and Spencer tries to distract him by putting his hands down his pants, but Brendon's been thinking about this for a few days now and he's ready, so.
He pulls back and says, "No, c'mon, seriously."
Spencer pulls back and breathes really slowly before saying, "Just let it drop, okay." But Brendon doesn't.
He says, kind of challengingly, "I know this is what you're into."
Spencer's mouth goes tight, and for a moment, Brendon doesn't think he's going to say anything. But then Spencer says, "You know this is what I'm into?" He gestures at the end of the bed where the kit's lying. "This is what I'm into? You think I'd need fucking -- Velcro cuffs? To keep you still? You think-- " Spencer cuts himself off, and then he doesn't say anything else.
Brendon feels that really weird feeling again, kind of embarrassed, even though he can't stop pushing. He really just wants for Spencer to take over now, but he knows that whatever Spencer is waiting for, he hasn't found yet.
Brendon crawls over to Spencer's side of the bed, and says, "Sorry," because he thinks that he's somehow managed to offend Spencer, even though he doesn't know what he did.
Except that he kind of does, and he says again, "Sorry," and leans forward to kiss Spencer, and Spencer relaxes a little. Says, "Yeah, okay," and kisses him back. Spencer kisses slowly, and Brendon thinks that he's too scattered to actually kiss back. He tries to focus on Spencer's mouth, but his brain is still in the feeling-weird place, and his body's kind of squirmy, but in an unsettled way, not so much just full of energy.
He pushes his tongue in Spencer's mouth, opens for Spencer. Pulls back and waits for a long time, mouth slightly open, for the words to come, and still all he comes up with is, "Can we still try, maybe?" kind of quietly.
Spencer doesn't say anything, but he looks at Brendon for a long minute before leaning in to kiss him again. Except that he's not actually kissing him, because he pulls away every time Brendon tries to touch their tongues together. He doesn't actually break the contact between their mouths, but each time Brendon tries to lick forward, Spencer's head jerks back just enough, and Brendon doesn't know what he's supposed to do, so he just waits. Spencer stays still for a long time, before brushing just the tip of his tongue against Brendon's lower lip. When Brendon tries to reach out his own tongue, though, Spencer pulls back again.
They keep repeating this until finally Brendon stops trying to push for more, and just holds still, lips parted slightly as he and Spencer share the same air.
Spencer teases feather light over his lower lip before catching the lip between his teeth and tugging hard, and Brendon's mouth stays open so Spencer can push his tongue over the lip, once he lets go, into Brendon's mouth, and Brendon feels like he's been starving and he doesn't want to stop sucking on Spencer's tongue, but he doesn't try to stop Spencer when he moves away.
Spencer rolls them onto the bed, pushes Brendon down on his back, says, "Keep your hands there," and, no, Brendon doesn't think that Spencer needs the Velcro cuffs to keep him still.
This would be sometime a little bit in the future, after Spencer and Haley have [hypothetically] broken up. Spencer and Brendon have been circling each other for a while (shhh, I'm trying to cheer myself up). In between getting together with Brendon and breaking up with Haley, Spencer fucks around in a reasonably discrete, but still blatantly obvious kind of way.
Spencer shows up at breakfast with rope burn around his wrists that Brendon can't stop staring at. Brendon's been tied up before, because girls like that sometimes and it's not like it's some great hardship for Brendon to just lie there and not do any work. But, Brendon's been tied up with scarves or shit like that, and being tied up was mostly just an excuse for the girl to spend a lot of time moving around the bed while she was still wearing her lingerie.
Spencer's wrists are rubbed raw though; there are parts that are a little scabbed, and also rings of bruises. Spencer bruises easily, but, still. He wasn't tied up with scarves.
Brendon spends a lot of time staring, and when it's just the two of them, sitting side by side on the couch, he reaches over and rubs his thumb over Spencer's wrist. Spencer doesn't push him away, or offer any explanation.
Brendon finally says, "What's this?" and Spencer says, "Just figuring some stuff out." The way he says it makes Brendon want to ask a million questions, but it also totally shuts down the conversation, and when Spencer rotates his wrist, Brendon lets him go.
It takes them a while to get together. They've always gotten along well enough, but the way they're close is changing, like it does with good friends when all of the sudden your lives actually line up, and it's someone you've known forever, but the relationship you have with them is new, suddenly. Spencer's waiting until he's all the way over Haley, though, because even though Brendon's making it pretty obvious that he'd be there for a rebound fuck, Spencer doesn't want that from someone he knows.
They pass over that initial stage of attraction and move into the thing where the low burn is always there, but it feels like it's always going to be there, like they're never actually going to get together. Except that one day Spencer stops fucking around and Brendon's still there. Brendon's used to pushing, just a little, and mostly only because he always knows that Spencer is going to push right back, but stop before anything actually happens. But, now, Spencer isn't pushing back, but he's not stopping anything either. It's a weird adjustment because Spencer's just open now, like Brendon can do whatever, but it's going to be for real now.
They end up doing more things together, just the two of them, and sometimes Spencer puts his arm over the back of the couch and ends up with it draped over Brendon's shoulders. Sometimes Brendon hugs Spencer and he doesn't let go and he doesn't try to hide that he's hard.
They've been circling each other for so long that it seems like it should be easier when they start dating for real, like they should just be able to dive into things, but there are still so many things to work out that they were just able to gloss over, before.
There's the awkward waiting while they both get STD tests, something they both decide to do, without actually going into any details about why they'd need one. And then the part where neither of them wants to wait six months so that they can be closer to sure, so they still use condoms anyway.
They have sex like they're both showing off, like they're actually happy to be sucking cock and they always swallow, and then they have sex like they're both holding back a little, like they comfortable enough with going through the motions, but they're still a little worried about pushing too far. And then they start actually talking. First about stuff they'd done, because that's a safer way to bring up things they want to do. They have sex in Spencer's backyard, bare skin sticking to the grass in the middle of the night. Brendon starts sucking Spencer off while he's still on the phone with Ryan. They see how many times they can get each other off in one night.
They spend more time talking about things they've done, more as a round about form of dirty talk than actually comparing sexual histories.
Brendon asks Spencer about the rope burn, one day, asks about what Spencer ended up figuring out, and this is the only thing that Spencer won't actually talk about. Spencer will jerk off while Brendon watches, watch with Brendon does the same, they'll share their porn with each other, breathing down each other's necks as they crowd in front of one laptop, but Spencer won't talk about this one thing. And, he won't talk about it in this really quiet way, where he doesn't not talk about it, and Brendon never realizes that Spencer's totally avoided answering his questions until the conversation is over.
Brendon figures that must mean that it's something that Spencer likes, but he won't admit to liking, so he buys some stupid kit like this. Baby's first bondage kit. He gives it to Spencer, and thinks that he's being all awesome and spontaneous, but Spencer gets this really weird look on his face, and still doesn't actually say anything.
They don't open up the kit, but Spencer pulls a scarf off the hanger on the way to their bed and passes it to Brendon and Brendon ties him to the headboards and sucks Spencer off for a really long time before riding him. Brendon feels kind of stupid the whole time he's doing it, and Spencer seems distant. Brendon's sitting on Spencer's cock, waiting as he gets used to the stretch (he didn't take as long getting himself ready as Spencer would have, and, also, it totally hurts more to be on top for some weird reason), when he says, "You don't want to be the one tied up, do you?"
Spencer shrugs, even though his arms are still stretch above his head.
Brendon leans forward, says, "I can untie you," but Spencer lifts his head a little, and says, "No, just keep going," and arches his hips, pushing his cock in a little deeper.
Brendon gasps and flexes around him. It's hard to move like this and Brendon doesn't know if he should brace his hands on Spencer's chest or on the bed. Or maybe on his own legs. It's hard to move like this.
Spencer looks up at him, and says, "After all that, and you're not going to get me off like this?" and he keeps staring, so Brendon keeps trying. He's exhausted and sweating by the end. It takes a really long time, but he does get Spencer off, even though he comes first, and for a minute he doesn't think that he's going to be able to keep going. Spencer said, "I want to see you touch yourself," and Brendon didn't think he was that close but Spencer started rocking up to meet him just before he realized how close to the edge he was, and Spencer just kept going even when Brendon realized that he should probably start holding himself back, and then it ended up being too late.
Brendon feels really weird after he's gotten Spencer untied. He can't settle, keeps reaching out, trying to fix the blankets, rubbing Spencer's wrists, even though Spencer's skin is obviously fine. Brendon tied him loose enough that he could have gotten away, if he wanted to. Brendon feels nervous, kind of, and Spencer's really quiet. Eventually, Spencer throws an arm around Brendon's waist and doesn't move or let Brendon move, even when Brendon starts wiggling, and they both manage to fall asleep.
A couple days later, Brendon puts the kit on the bed and tells Spencer that he can tie him up. Spencer shakes his head. Brendon says, "No, seriously," and Spencer tries to distract him by putting his hands down his pants, but Brendon's been thinking about this for a few days now and he's ready, so.
He pulls back and says, "No, c'mon, seriously."
Spencer pulls back and breathes really slowly before saying, "Just let it drop, okay." But Brendon doesn't.
He says, kind of challengingly, "I know this is what you're into."
Spencer's mouth goes tight, and for a moment, Brendon doesn't think he's going to say anything. But then Spencer says, "You know this is what I'm into?" He gestures at the end of the bed where the kit's lying. "This is what I'm into? You think I'd need fucking -- Velcro cuffs? To keep you still? You think-- " Spencer cuts himself off, and then he doesn't say anything else.
Brendon feels that really weird feeling again, kind of embarrassed, even though he can't stop pushing. He really just wants for Spencer to take over now, but he knows that whatever Spencer is waiting for, he hasn't found yet.
Brendon crawls over to Spencer's side of the bed, and says, "Sorry," because he thinks that he's somehow managed to offend Spencer, even though he doesn't know what he did.
Except that he kind of does, and he says again, "Sorry," and leans forward to kiss Spencer, and Spencer relaxes a little. Says, "Yeah, okay," and kisses him back. Spencer kisses slowly, and Brendon thinks that he's too scattered to actually kiss back. He tries to focus on Spencer's mouth, but his brain is still in the feeling-weird place, and his body's kind of squirmy, but in an unsettled way, not so much just full of energy.
He pushes his tongue in Spencer's mouth, opens for Spencer. Pulls back and waits for a long time, mouth slightly open, for the words to come, and still all he comes up with is, "Can we still try, maybe?" kind of quietly.
Spencer doesn't say anything, but he looks at Brendon for a long minute before leaning in to kiss him again. Except that he's not actually kissing him, because he pulls away every time Brendon tries to touch their tongues together. He doesn't actually break the contact between their mouths, but each time Brendon tries to lick forward, Spencer's head jerks back just enough, and Brendon doesn't know what he's supposed to do, so he just waits. Spencer stays still for a long time, before brushing just the tip of his tongue against Brendon's lower lip. When Brendon tries to reach out his own tongue, though, Spencer pulls back again.
They keep repeating this until finally Brendon stops trying to push for more, and just holds still, lips parted slightly as he and Spencer share the same air.
Spencer teases feather light over his lower lip before catching the lip between his teeth and tugging hard, and Brendon's mouth stays open so Spencer can push his tongue over the lip, once he lets go, into Brendon's mouth, and Brendon feels like he's been starving and he doesn't want to stop sucking on Spencer's tongue, but he doesn't try to stop Spencer when he moves away.
Spencer rolls them onto the bed, pushes Brendon down on his back, says, "Keep your hands there," and, no, Brendon doesn't think that Spencer needs the Velcro cuffs to keep him still.