[Yggdra Unison Drama CD] → Original Drama Chapters
This is a translation of tracks 4 through 6 of the Yggdra Unison drama CD, which cover the Milanor's Thieves Chapter, in which Milanor is really bad at this game. (Note also that this storyline involves Milanor being kind of an asshole about gender stuff, plus Rosary being a huge manipulative asshole in general.)
Please do not repost any of the text in full or in part without written permission from me; feel free to link to this post from anywhere if you want to share the information!
Milanor's Thieves Chapter
Flunky: You got nowhere to run, curse lady!
Rosary: Shut up! Like the great Rosary would ever lose to a bunch of stupid thieves!!
Flunky: Boss, I’m gonna beat her myself!
Milanor: Great! If you get her, I’ll give you a Medallion!
Flunky: I want the Ogre Blade…
Milanor: Tch, fine, fine! But only if you actually manage to win!
Flunky: Don’t forget, Boss!
Rosary: Don’t get cocky!
Milanor: The Tactics Card’s goin’ off! What could it be…? Woohoo, it’s Steal! Saezar of the Wind, it’s your turn! Go grab me some loot! …Wh-what’s up, Saezar? What’re you-uwah!
Flunky: Boss!!
Kylier: Milanor, are you okay?!
Milanor: Shit! The Ogre Blade got stolen!
Flunky: No way! You said you’d give it to me!
Milanor: M-my bad… But that was the card that-
Flunky: You suck!
Kylier: Hey, where d’you think you’re going?!
Flunky: Stupid Boss!!!
Milanor: I’m the one that wants to cry here!
Nietzsche: Cheer up, Milanor-onii-chan! Nietzsche caught a funny lady!
Rosary: Who do you think you’re calling funny?! I don’t want to hear that from somebody who’s half fish!
Nietzsche: Hehehe, really?
Rosary: That’s not a compliment!
Milanor: If you’re gonna chatter at each other, go do it somewhere else.
Kylier: So Steal’s a card that makes a random one of our items disappear. Eh? But the condition for it to go off is for one of your enemies to be Bandit-class.
Milanor: But the only guys on her team were Witches and Golems!
Rosary: Oh… I gave my baby here a Fur Cape to wear.
Golem: Gwoooooohh!
Milanor: Why me…
Narrator: The world was in chaos. In order to defeat the tyrants of the world and create a new society with equal status for everyone, Milanor led his band of thieves into days of battle.
Milanor: Who’d’ve ever thunk that I, the King of Thieves, would wind up getting my pockets picked by Saezar… That’s pitiful, it’s too much…
Pamela: Uhuhuhu… You’re full of openings! This is my chance!
Nietzsche: Onii-chan, behind you!
Milanor: Oh, shit!
Kylier: Yaaaaah!
Milanor: Kylier!
Kylier: I made it!
Pamela: Oooooh!! How dare you ruin my perfect chance!!
Milanor: Sorry, thanks.
Kylier: Get it together! It’s not like you to get lost in thought on the battlefield, Milanor.
Rosary: It’s about time for the card to activate, so you must be worried, right? Like, what if it’s a big dud again!
Milanor: No! I was thinking about tactics for once it takes effect!
Roswell: But this is, after all, the utterly luckless Milanor-dono who had Gravity Chaos activate against a Necromancer like myself. It cannot be helped if he is concerned about the next card.
Kylier: Roswell! What are you saying, after we let you join our team!
Roswell: Kylier-dono, you seem to be mistaken. I kindly allowed you to recruit me, not the other way around.
Rosary: Oh, shut your stupid face, Lord Dummy! You’re only here because I’m putting up with you all special! When I heard you were joining up, I had half a mind to desert!
Milanor: You fuckwits, have you forgotten you’re MY flunkies here?! If you got time to bicker, how about going to help Nietzsche deal with the Woodland Alliance guys?!!
Nietzsche: Toh! Yaaah! Eiii! Break this building doooown!
Pamela: Noooo! That’s my precious fortifications! Stooooop!
Nietzsche: Here we come!
Rosary: Wh-what’s your problem?! First of all, you shouldn’t be dozing off!
Milanor: Shaddup! Tch, there the card goes!
Roswell: Ha! I can’t wait to see what it is.
Rosary: This is… the power of the contract with Queen Cestina…?
Roswell: So it’s Diamond Dust…!
Kylier: Eeek! What’s going on?!
Milanor: Huh? My body’s-Eh? Kylier…? Ahahaha, look at you! That’s fucken hilarious, you’re an Undine in the middle of the forest!
Kylier: Like you’re any different, Milanor!
Milanor: Huh? What about me? Eh, what the hell?! My feet have turned into flappy fish things! Don’t tell me the card did this?!
Rosary: Yep. Diamond Dust’s effect turns all your allies into Undines. I never thought I’d be turning into one myself, though.
Kylier: Hmmm… This feels really bizarre. Uwah, I can’t ride Al like this!
Milanor: No, more importantly, how do we even walk? That Nietzsche’s pretty incredible.
Rosary: Hey, are you only paying attention to what happened to your feet?
Milanor: Huh? What else should I be-
Kylier: Ah! Milanor-your chest!
Milanor: Chest??? Boobs… (~Ahn~!!) What the flipping fuck?!! Suddenly my chest is huge?!!!
Roswell: What are you talking about?! Mine are even bigger!
Milanor: That’s nothing to be proud of!
Rosary: Ahahahaha! Lookin’ good, Roswell! They go perfect with your snobby attitude and your girly face!
Roswell: Though it appalls me to admit it, you’re right. This appearance suits me so well it frightens even me.
Milanor: Get the fuck out.
Roswell: Did you actually just dismiss me?!
Milanor: Yeah, I did! Now scram!
Roswell: What, are you envious of my beauty?
Milanor: Shut the fuck up!
Kylier: (But now that I look at it, this form… It’s kind of bold, I mean… wow, I’m sexy! Now that I look like this, maybe I can get Milanor excited about me!)
Milanor: Jeez… What kinda sick joke is this?
Kylier: Milanor… these looks are… I’m getting embarrassed!
Milanor: Huh? Look, aside from the flippers, you ain’t much different from your usual self. But me… On top of the fish fins, I got a girl body!
Kylier: Grr, look closer! Our clothes have changed too! I mean, this is pretty much underwear-
Rosary: This is strange.
Kylier: Yeah, it’s strange-wait, what’s up with you?!
Rosary: The conditions for Diamond Dust to activate is for an Undine to be among the enemy… There shouldn’t be any here. And yet…
Kylier: Well, yeah, that is weird, but right now we’re talking about my-
Roswell: Could Nietzsche-dono have defected to the enemy’s side?!
Milanor: I thought I told you to fuck off!
Roswell: B-bananas are not for throwing!!!!
Milanor: There’s no way Nietzsche’d turn traitor. But it’s possible she got caught. Where is she?
Rosary: Ah! There!!
Undine: Thank you, Nietzsche!
Nietzsche: No more getting caught, okay?
Pamela: Ahhhhhh! What do you think you’re doing?!! My precious Undine-chan ran away!!
Milanor: Don’t tell me…
Rosary: Looks like that Undine was the cause.
Pamela: Ooooh, I’ll never forgive you! You can be the great Pamela’s test subject instead!
Nietzsche: What kind of test?
Pamela: You’re going to find out right now!
Nietzsche: No scary stuff!!
Milanor: That witch is kinda messed up! We gotta save Nietzsche!
Kylier: Okay!
Rosary: Wait! You guys are still-
Pamela: Uho! There’s Undines over there, too!
Milanor, Kylier: Ah.
Pamela: Ahahahahaha, ahahahahaha! Heeeeeey! You Undines! Become Pamela’s toys!!
Kylier: Who would?!
Pamela: Now that it’s come to this, I’ll take you by force-
Kylier: Shut up! Don’t touch me!
Pamela: Ohohohohoho, ohohohohoho!
Milanor: *pant* *pant* *pant* That was too close…
Pamela: I never thought you’d have just turned into fake Undines… But it looks like there’s a real one here too, so if you’ll hand her over, then the great Pamela is fine with joining your-
Milanor: Why would we need you?!!!
Nietzsche: Go away!!!
Pamela: Eeeeeeeeh? That’s so meeeeaaaaaaaaaaan!
Milanor: Phew! That was some crazy witch. Right, let’s head to the next place!
Kylier: Wait a second, Milanor!
Milanor: What?
Kylier: What was with you before?! You didn’t have to be such an ass about it!
Milanor: Huh? Did I do something?
Kylier: I even turned into an Undine…
Roswell: *nom nom nom nom nom nom* Oh yes, he said something rude along the lines that Kylier-dono was no different as an Undine from usual even though she was doing her best to show off her sex appeal.
Kylier: I-I was not!
Roswell: Heh. But Kylier-dono, you lack understanding as well. Contrast is important to men. In your case, you walk around all day with your navel sticking out, so it’s only natural for Milanor-dono to be used to seeing it. *nom nom nom nom nom*
Kylier: Grrr.
Milanor: Stop talking about stupid shit while you’re stuffing your face with your stupid banana, Roswell! I told you not to come back!
Kylier: Is that true, Milanor? Is that why you didn’t care even though I turned into an Undine?
Milanor: You fucking banana fetishist! It’s all your fault this discussion is goin’ in a weird direction! Take responsibility!
Roswell: Responsibility? All right. Then, I will observe you from afar, without joining the conversation. *nom nom nom nom nom*
Milanor: HEY! Why are you runnin’ away?!!!
Rosary: No, but forget about whether things are new or not-Milanor, you’ve been living out in the sticks as a thief, so wouldn’t you be more attracted to your direct opposite… say, a princess like Yggdra?
Nietzsche: Onii-chan likes the princess!
Milanor: Nietzsche, what the hell are you saying?!
Nietzsche: Eh? You hate her?
Milanor: N-no, that’s not what I mean.
Kylier: Uwah… I knew it…
Milanor: What do you mean, you knew it?!!
Rosary: Aww, if only you hadn’t sent her off to look for items, we could’ve seen the princess as an Undine too… What a waste!
Milanor: What do I care?
Rosary: Aw look, he’s embarrassed! Even though if he really saw her he’d get a nosebleed and lose all rational thought! “Y, Yggdra…!” Or something like that!
Rosary, Nietzsche: Ahahahahaha!
Nietzsche: That’s funny!
Milanor: Don’t go imagining weird things!!!
Kylier: Like Milanor would ever get a nosebleed over Yggdra! …But we can’t use Diamond Dust again, so it’s not like we’ll ever see her as an Undine anyway. T-too bad!
Rosary: That’s not necessarily true.
Kylier: Heh?
Rosary: I hear there’s an item called the Mermaid Fin that’ll change your class to Undine.
Kylier: B-but it’s not like that’ll be so easy to find, right?
Yggdra: Everybody!
Nietzsche: The princess is back!
Yggdra: I’m sorry I’m so late, Milanor-sa-ah, I did it again! I’m sorry, Boss!
Milanor: I-I keep sayin’ just plain Milanor’s fine!
Yggdra: No, it is not fine! Because I have sworn on the Holy Sword to cooperate with you!
Kylier: If Milanor says it’s fine, then it’s fine! More importantly, you did find something, right?
Yggdra: Yes! I recovered spoils for us!
Milanor: Whoa! Good job, Yggdra!
Kylier: W-well, if a high-and-mighty princess did the searching, I’m sure she can’t have picked up anything too shabby. Don’t get your hopes up, Milanor!
Milanor: Aw, don’t be like that. Show me.
Yggdra: Yes! This is it, but…
Kylier: This is…?
Milanor, Kylier, Rosary, Nietzsche: The Mermaid Fin!
Rosary: That’s pretty awesome, Princess! We were just talking about the Mermaid Fin now!
Yggdra: Oh, I see! I’m so glad!
Rosary: Then, shall we have you wear it right away?
Yggdra: Oh! You’re giving it to me?
Milanor: Waaaait waitwaitwait! Rosary! Are you serious?!
Rosary: Well, duh! Let’s turn Yggdra into an Undine right away, so we can watch your brain fly off to Bonerville!
Nietzsche: Nietzsche wants to see what the princess looks like as an Undine too!
Yggdra: So this is an item that will change my class to Undine? That sounds interesting! I’d love to try it!
Milanor: Are you for real?
Yggdra: Yes! I am very real!
Rosary: As long as she’s agreeing, then let’s go ahead and-
Kylier: Wait! Do you really understand, Princess? It’ll turn you into an Undine!
Yggdra: Yes, so my legs will turn into a fish tail, correct?
Kylier: Your top half’s gonna change too! Your clothes’ll turn into a teeny-tiny little bra like the Undines wear!
Yggdra: Like the Undines wear…?
(simulation) Yggdra: Leave the waterside to me!
Yggdra: That might be a bit embarrassing…
Kylier: Right? So, about the Mermaid Fin…
Rosary: Of course she’s going to put it on! It’s precisely because we want to embarrass her, right, Milanor?
Yggdra: I-is this true?
Milanor: NO!
Rosary: Oh, be honest! How old are we turning, two? But this is also because I wanna see you drooling over her, so let’s make her put it on!
Milanor: Hey! Think of Yggdra’s feelings, here!
Kylier: Milanor…
Rosary: All of us already understand the embarrassment that we’re going to put Yggdra through! After all, we were all turned into Undines in that last battle!
Yggdra: You all…
Nietzsche: Nietzsche’s always been an Undine though!
Rosary: Ahem! I certainly won’t force you, but hey Yggdra, don’t you feel sad about getting left out?
Yggdra: Rosary-san…!
Rosary: Even your precious boss Milanor turned into an Undine, you see? Don’t you think it’s strange for you, his flunky, to refuse out of embarrassment?
Yggdra: I… suppose so…
Rosary: So? How’s that, Milanor?
Milanor: I didn’t mean, convince her!
Rosary: That’s right! The princess will be the one to decide! But if you do decide to become an Undine…
Yggdra: If I decide to become an Undine…?
Rosary: I’ll give you this Sweetberry as a reward!
Yggdra: I’LL WEAR IT!
Milanor: What’s with the knee-jerk reply?!!
Rosary: Welp, that solves everything!
Nietzsche: Yaaay! Undine, Undine!
Milanor: Urgh, whatever! Do whatever you want!
Rosary: And where do you think you’re going?!
Milanor: What the hell, let me go!
Rosary: The whole point of this is seeing your reaction! Nietzsche, help me grab him!
Nietzsche: ‘Kay!
Milanor: Cut it out! Do you two really mean to disobey your boss?!!
Rosary: If he’s gonna be our enemy, yeah! Okay, princess, it’s all yours!
Yggdra: Yes!
Milanor: HEY! Wait!
Kylier: (The princess is going to turn into an Undine… And if Milanor sees her like that…)
(Simulation) Yggdra: No… I’m embarrassed, Milanor-san… Don’t stare at me so…
Milanor: Yggdra… I can’t hold back…
Kylier: ………… That’s not good… Noooooooo!
Milanor: Kylier, what are you doing?!!
Nietzsche: It’s a blindfold!
Kylier: Milanor, you can’t look!
Milanor: Huh?!
Rosary: Stop flailing around!
Milanor: Stop!
Milanor, Kylier, Rosary, Nietzsche: Uwah!
Milanor: Owww…
Yggdra: Are you all right, everyone?!
Nietzsche: Wahh, the cards are all over the place…
Rosary: Kylier! What are you doing?!
Kylier: I’m not okay with this!
Nietzsche: A card’s going all shiny!
Rosary: This is… the power of the Legendary Hawk…
Milanor: But that means…
All: Item Break!
Nietzsche: Are our items gonna get broken?
Rosary: It’s okay! It won’t work unless there’s a Fencer here!
Kylier: Ah-I’m sorry!
Rosary: Why?!
Kylier: That was the Soldier’s Bandanna I used as a blindfold…
Rosary: But that’s the item that lets you class change into a Fencer!
Milanor: YOU FUCKASSES!
All: Ahh!
Kylier: Oww…
Milanor: All our items are a mess…
Kylier: I’m sorry, Milanor…
Rosary: The Mermaid Fin’s broken, too… Too bad.
Yggdra: Rosary-san, don’t tell me… even the Sweetberry?
Rosary: Yep, it’s dead and buried.
Yggdra: I… see.
Kylier: So I wound up ruining things for you, too… I’m sorry.
Rosary: Look, even Kylier’s apologizing! Don’t be sad.
Nietzsche: Cheer up, princess!
Yggdra: I’m not sad. I’m angry!!!
Milanor, Kylier, Rosary, Nietzsche: Eh?
Yggdra: I’ll never forgive you for breaking my Sweetberry! I will judge you under the justice of the Holy Sword!
Milanor: Calm down, Yggdra! We’re on the same team!
Yggdra: I can’t think of you as my allies anymore! COME NEAR ME AND I’LL KILL YOU!
Nietzsche: Waaaaaaaaah! Stop, princess!
Yggdra: I WON’T FORGIVE YOU!!!
Kylier: You’re the one coming near US!
Rosary: Milanor, do something!
Milanor: It’s all YOUR fault this happened!
Kylier: That sound… don’t tell me…!
Milanor: Another card is going off! Why?!
Nietzsche: Nietzsche doesn’t know!
Rosary: This power… It’s Lord Dummy’s favorite, the Necromancer Nelda’s…
Yggdra: Uwah?! My body-!
Nietzsche: Eeeek!
Rosary: My god…
Kylier: The princess…
Milanor: Yggdra is…!
Milanor, Kylier, Rosary, Nietzsche: She turned into a Skeleton!
Yggdra: Kekekekekekekeke!
Milanor, Kylier, Rosary, Nietzsche: Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Yggdra: Kekekekekekeke! Kekekekekekekeke!
Nietzsche: Noooooooooo! The princess is all bony and scary!!!!
Rosary: Save me!!!!!!!
Kylier: Milanor, do something!
Milanor: This is all your guys’ fault!
Yggdra: Kekekekekeke!
Roswell: Hmph. How do you like that, Milanor? It seems you like my especial gift of Necro Gate. As I thought, rather than an Undine, better that she become an even-less-clothed Skeleton. Heheheh… Ahahahahahaha!
Milanor: Don’t just laugh!
Roswell: Ow!
Narrator: And thus, night deepens on Milanor’s thieves… Hang in there, Milanor’s thief band! Until you can bring a day of freedom to the continent…!
Kylier: I feel sorry for the princess, but… At least this way she won’t be giving Milanor a nosebleed!
Yggdra: Kekekekekekekekeke!
Kylier: Uwaaaaaaaaaahhh!
Please do not repost any of the text in full or in part without written permission from me; feel free to link to this post from anywhere if you want to share the information!
Milanor's Thieves Chapter
Flunky: You got nowhere to run, curse lady!
Rosary: Shut up! Like the great Rosary would ever lose to a bunch of stupid thieves!!
Flunky: Boss, I’m gonna beat her myself!
Milanor: Great! If you get her, I’ll give you a Medallion!
Flunky: I want the Ogre Blade…
Milanor: Tch, fine, fine! But only if you actually manage to win!
Flunky: Don’t forget, Boss!
Rosary: Don’t get cocky!
Milanor: The Tactics Card’s goin’ off! What could it be…? Woohoo, it’s Steal! Saezar of the Wind, it’s your turn! Go grab me some loot! …Wh-what’s up, Saezar? What’re you-uwah!
Flunky: Boss!!
Kylier: Milanor, are you okay?!
Milanor: Shit! The Ogre Blade got stolen!
Flunky: No way! You said you’d give it to me!
Milanor: M-my bad… But that was the card that-
Flunky: You suck!
Kylier: Hey, where d’you think you’re going?!
Flunky: Stupid Boss!!!
Milanor: I’m the one that wants to cry here!
Nietzsche: Cheer up, Milanor-onii-chan! Nietzsche caught a funny lady!
Rosary: Who do you think you’re calling funny?! I don’t want to hear that from somebody who’s half fish!
Nietzsche: Hehehe, really?
Rosary: That’s not a compliment!
Milanor: If you’re gonna chatter at each other, go do it somewhere else.
Kylier: So Steal’s a card that makes a random one of our items disappear. Eh? But the condition for it to go off is for one of your enemies to be Bandit-class.
Milanor: But the only guys on her team were Witches and Golems!
Rosary: Oh… I gave my baby here a Fur Cape to wear.
Golem: Gwoooooohh!
Milanor: Why me…
Narrator: The world was in chaos. In order to defeat the tyrants of the world and create a new society with equal status for everyone, Milanor led his band of thieves into days of battle.
Milanor: Who’d’ve ever thunk that I, the King of Thieves, would wind up getting my pockets picked by Saezar… That’s pitiful, it’s too much…
Pamela: Uhuhuhu… You’re full of openings! This is my chance!
Nietzsche: Onii-chan, behind you!
Milanor: Oh, shit!
Kylier: Yaaaaah!
Milanor: Kylier!
Kylier: I made it!
Pamela: Oooooh!! How dare you ruin my perfect chance!!
Milanor: Sorry, thanks.
Kylier: Get it together! It’s not like you to get lost in thought on the battlefield, Milanor.
Rosary: It’s about time for the card to activate, so you must be worried, right? Like, what if it’s a big dud again!
Milanor: No! I was thinking about tactics for once it takes effect!
Roswell: But this is, after all, the utterly luckless Milanor-dono who had Gravity Chaos activate against a Necromancer like myself. It cannot be helped if he is concerned about the next card.
Kylier: Roswell! What are you saying, after we let you join our team!
Roswell: Kylier-dono, you seem to be mistaken. I kindly allowed you to recruit me, not the other way around.
Rosary: Oh, shut your stupid face, Lord Dummy! You’re only here because I’m putting up with you all special! When I heard you were joining up, I had half a mind to desert!
Milanor: You fuckwits, have you forgotten you’re MY flunkies here?! If you got time to bicker, how about going to help Nietzsche deal with the Woodland Alliance guys?!!
Nietzsche: Toh! Yaaah! Eiii! Break this building doooown!
Pamela: Noooo! That’s my precious fortifications! Stooooop!
Nietzsche: Here we come!
Rosary: Wh-what’s your problem?! First of all, you shouldn’t be dozing off!
Milanor: Shaddup! Tch, there the card goes!
Roswell: Ha! I can’t wait to see what it is.
Rosary: This is… the power of the contract with Queen Cestina…?
Roswell: So it’s Diamond Dust…!
Kylier: Eeek! What’s going on?!
Milanor: Huh? My body’s-Eh? Kylier…? Ahahaha, look at you! That’s fucken hilarious, you’re an Undine in the middle of the forest!
Kylier: Like you’re any different, Milanor!
Milanor: Huh? What about me? Eh, what the hell?! My feet have turned into flappy fish things! Don’t tell me the card did this?!
Rosary: Yep. Diamond Dust’s effect turns all your allies into Undines. I never thought I’d be turning into one myself, though.
Kylier: Hmmm… This feels really bizarre. Uwah, I can’t ride Al like this!
Milanor: No, more importantly, how do we even walk? That Nietzsche’s pretty incredible.
Rosary: Hey, are you only paying attention to what happened to your feet?
Milanor: Huh? What else should I be-
Kylier: Ah! Milanor-your chest!
Milanor: Chest??? Boobs… (~Ahn~!!) What the flipping fuck?!! Suddenly my chest is huge?!!!
Roswell: What are you talking about?! Mine are even bigger!
Milanor: That’s nothing to be proud of!
Rosary: Ahahahaha! Lookin’ good, Roswell! They go perfect with your snobby attitude and your girly face!
Roswell: Though it appalls me to admit it, you’re right. This appearance suits me so well it frightens even me.
Milanor: Get the fuck out.
Roswell: Did you actually just dismiss me?!
Milanor: Yeah, I did! Now scram!
Roswell: What, are you envious of my beauty?
Milanor: Shut the fuck up!
Kylier: (But now that I look at it, this form… It’s kind of bold, I mean… wow, I’m sexy! Now that I look like this, maybe I can get Milanor excited about me!)
Milanor: Jeez… What kinda sick joke is this?
Kylier: Milanor… these looks are… I’m getting embarrassed!
Milanor: Huh? Look, aside from the flippers, you ain’t much different from your usual self. But me… On top of the fish fins, I got a girl body!
Kylier: Grr, look closer! Our clothes have changed too! I mean, this is pretty much underwear-
Rosary: This is strange.
Kylier: Yeah, it’s strange-wait, what’s up with you?!
Rosary: The conditions for Diamond Dust to activate is for an Undine to be among the enemy… There shouldn’t be any here. And yet…
Kylier: Well, yeah, that is weird, but right now we’re talking about my-
Roswell: Could Nietzsche-dono have defected to the enemy’s side?!
Milanor: I thought I told you to fuck off!
Roswell: B-bananas are not for throwing!!!!
Milanor: There’s no way Nietzsche’d turn traitor. But it’s possible she got caught. Where is she?
Rosary: Ah! There!!
Undine: Thank you, Nietzsche!
Nietzsche: No more getting caught, okay?
Pamela: Ahhhhhh! What do you think you’re doing?!! My precious Undine-chan ran away!!
Milanor: Don’t tell me…
Rosary: Looks like that Undine was the cause.
Pamela: Ooooh, I’ll never forgive you! You can be the great Pamela’s test subject instead!
Nietzsche: What kind of test?
Pamela: You’re going to find out right now!
Nietzsche: No scary stuff!!
Milanor: That witch is kinda messed up! We gotta save Nietzsche!
Kylier: Okay!
Rosary: Wait! You guys are still-
Pamela: Uho! There’s Undines over there, too!
Milanor, Kylier: Ah.
Pamela: Ahahahahaha, ahahahahaha! Heeeeeey! You Undines! Become Pamela’s toys!!
Kylier: Who would?!
Pamela: Now that it’s come to this, I’ll take you by force-
Kylier: Shut up! Don’t touch me!
Pamela: Ohohohohoho, ohohohohoho!
Milanor: *pant* *pant* *pant* That was too close…
Pamela: I never thought you’d have just turned into fake Undines… But it looks like there’s a real one here too, so if you’ll hand her over, then the great Pamela is fine with joining your-
Milanor: Why would we need you?!!!
Nietzsche: Go away!!!
Pamela: Eeeeeeeeh? That’s so meeeeaaaaaaaaaaan!
Milanor: Phew! That was some crazy witch. Right, let’s head to the next place!
Kylier: Wait a second, Milanor!
Milanor: What?
Kylier: What was with you before?! You didn’t have to be such an ass about it!
Milanor: Huh? Did I do something?
Kylier: I even turned into an Undine…
Roswell: *nom nom nom nom nom nom* Oh yes, he said something rude along the lines that Kylier-dono was no different as an Undine from usual even though she was doing her best to show off her sex appeal.
Kylier: I-I was not!
Roswell: Heh. But Kylier-dono, you lack understanding as well. Contrast is important to men. In your case, you walk around all day with your navel sticking out, so it’s only natural for Milanor-dono to be used to seeing it. *nom nom nom nom nom*
Kylier: Grrr.
Milanor: Stop talking about stupid shit while you’re stuffing your face with your stupid banana, Roswell! I told you not to come back!
Kylier: Is that true, Milanor? Is that why you didn’t care even though I turned into an Undine?
Milanor: You fucking banana fetishist! It’s all your fault this discussion is goin’ in a weird direction! Take responsibility!
Roswell: Responsibility? All right. Then, I will observe you from afar, without joining the conversation. *nom nom nom nom nom*
Milanor: HEY! Why are you runnin’ away?!!!
Rosary: No, but forget about whether things are new or not-Milanor, you’ve been living out in the sticks as a thief, so wouldn’t you be more attracted to your direct opposite… say, a princess like Yggdra?
Nietzsche: Onii-chan likes the princess!
Milanor: Nietzsche, what the hell are you saying?!
Nietzsche: Eh? You hate her?
Milanor: N-no, that’s not what I mean.
Kylier: Uwah… I knew it…
Milanor: What do you mean, you knew it?!!
Rosary: Aww, if only you hadn’t sent her off to look for items, we could’ve seen the princess as an Undine too… What a waste!
Milanor: What do I care?
Rosary: Aw look, he’s embarrassed! Even though if he really saw her he’d get a nosebleed and lose all rational thought! “Y, Yggdra…!” Or something like that!
Rosary, Nietzsche: Ahahahahaha!
Nietzsche: That’s funny!
Milanor: Don’t go imagining weird things!!!
Kylier: Like Milanor would ever get a nosebleed over Yggdra! …But we can’t use Diamond Dust again, so it’s not like we’ll ever see her as an Undine anyway. T-too bad!
Rosary: That’s not necessarily true.
Kylier: Heh?
Rosary: I hear there’s an item called the Mermaid Fin that’ll change your class to Undine.
Kylier: B-but it’s not like that’ll be so easy to find, right?
Yggdra: Everybody!
Nietzsche: The princess is back!
Yggdra: I’m sorry I’m so late, Milanor-sa-ah, I did it again! I’m sorry, Boss!
Milanor: I-I keep sayin’ just plain Milanor’s fine!
Yggdra: No, it is not fine! Because I have sworn on the Holy Sword to cooperate with you!
Kylier: If Milanor says it’s fine, then it’s fine! More importantly, you did find something, right?
Yggdra: Yes! I recovered spoils for us!
Milanor: Whoa! Good job, Yggdra!
Kylier: W-well, if a high-and-mighty princess did the searching, I’m sure she can’t have picked up anything too shabby. Don’t get your hopes up, Milanor!
Milanor: Aw, don’t be like that. Show me.
Yggdra: Yes! This is it, but…
Kylier: This is…?
Milanor, Kylier, Rosary, Nietzsche: The Mermaid Fin!
Rosary: That’s pretty awesome, Princess! We were just talking about the Mermaid Fin now!
Yggdra: Oh, I see! I’m so glad!
Rosary: Then, shall we have you wear it right away?
Yggdra: Oh! You’re giving it to me?
Milanor: Waaaait waitwaitwait! Rosary! Are you serious?!
Rosary: Well, duh! Let’s turn Yggdra into an Undine right away, so we can watch your brain fly off to Bonerville!
Nietzsche: Nietzsche wants to see what the princess looks like as an Undine too!
Yggdra: So this is an item that will change my class to Undine? That sounds interesting! I’d love to try it!
Milanor: Are you for real?
Yggdra: Yes! I am very real!
Rosary: As long as she’s agreeing, then let’s go ahead and-
Kylier: Wait! Do you really understand, Princess? It’ll turn you into an Undine!
Yggdra: Yes, so my legs will turn into a fish tail, correct?
Kylier: Your top half’s gonna change too! Your clothes’ll turn into a teeny-tiny little bra like the Undines wear!
Yggdra: Like the Undines wear…?
(simulation) Yggdra: Leave the waterside to me!
Yggdra: That might be a bit embarrassing…
Kylier: Right? So, about the Mermaid Fin…
Rosary: Of course she’s going to put it on! It’s precisely because we want to embarrass her, right, Milanor?
Yggdra: I-is this true?
Milanor: NO!
Rosary: Oh, be honest! How old are we turning, two? But this is also because I wanna see you drooling over her, so let’s make her put it on!
Milanor: Hey! Think of Yggdra’s feelings, here!
Kylier: Milanor…
Rosary: All of us already understand the embarrassment that we’re going to put Yggdra through! After all, we were all turned into Undines in that last battle!
Yggdra: You all…
Nietzsche: Nietzsche’s always been an Undine though!
Rosary: Ahem! I certainly won’t force you, but hey Yggdra, don’t you feel sad about getting left out?
Yggdra: Rosary-san…!
Rosary: Even your precious boss Milanor turned into an Undine, you see? Don’t you think it’s strange for you, his flunky, to refuse out of embarrassment?
Yggdra: I… suppose so…
Rosary: So? How’s that, Milanor?
Milanor: I didn’t mean, convince her!
Rosary: That’s right! The princess will be the one to decide! But if you do decide to become an Undine…
Yggdra: If I decide to become an Undine…?
Rosary: I’ll give you this Sweetberry as a reward!
Yggdra: I’LL WEAR IT!
Milanor: What’s with the knee-jerk reply?!!
Rosary: Welp, that solves everything!
Nietzsche: Yaaay! Undine, Undine!
Milanor: Urgh, whatever! Do whatever you want!
Rosary: And where do you think you’re going?!
Milanor: What the hell, let me go!
Rosary: The whole point of this is seeing your reaction! Nietzsche, help me grab him!
Nietzsche: ‘Kay!
Milanor: Cut it out! Do you two really mean to disobey your boss?!!
Rosary: If he’s gonna be our enemy, yeah! Okay, princess, it’s all yours!
Yggdra: Yes!
Milanor: HEY! Wait!
Kylier: (The princess is going to turn into an Undine… And if Milanor sees her like that…)
(Simulation) Yggdra: No… I’m embarrassed, Milanor-san… Don’t stare at me so…
Milanor: Yggdra… I can’t hold back…
Kylier: ………… That’s not good… Noooooooo!
Milanor: Kylier, what are you doing?!!
Nietzsche: It’s a blindfold!
Kylier: Milanor, you can’t look!
Milanor: Huh?!
Rosary: Stop flailing around!
Milanor: Stop!
Milanor, Kylier, Rosary, Nietzsche: Uwah!
Milanor: Owww…
Yggdra: Are you all right, everyone?!
Nietzsche: Wahh, the cards are all over the place…
Rosary: Kylier! What are you doing?!
Kylier: I’m not okay with this!
Nietzsche: A card’s going all shiny!
Rosary: This is… the power of the Legendary Hawk…
Milanor: But that means…
All: Item Break!
Nietzsche: Are our items gonna get broken?
Rosary: It’s okay! It won’t work unless there’s a Fencer here!
Kylier: Ah-I’m sorry!
Rosary: Why?!
Kylier: That was the Soldier’s Bandanna I used as a blindfold…
Rosary: But that’s the item that lets you class change into a Fencer!
Milanor: YOU FUCKASSES!
All: Ahh!
Kylier: Oww…
Milanor: All our items are a mess…
Kylier: I’m sorry, Milanor…
Rosary: The Mermaid Fin’s broken, too… Too bad.
Yggdra: Rosary-san, don’t tell me… even the Sweetberry?
Rosary: Yep, it’s dead and buried.
Yggdra: I… see.
Kylier: So I wound up ruining things for you, too… I’m sorry.
Rosary: Look, even Kylier’s apologizing! Don’t be sad.
Nietzsche: Cheer up, princess!
Yggdra: I’m not sad. I’m angry!!!
Milanor, Kylier, Rosary, Nietzsche: Eh?
Yggdra: I’ll never forgive you for breaking my Sweetberry! I will judge you under the justice of the Holy Sword!
Milanor: Calm down, Yggdra! We’re on the same team!
Yggdra: I can’t think of you as my allies anymore! COME NEAR ME AND I’LL KILL YOU!
Nietzsche: Waaaaaaaaah! Stop, princess!
Yggdra: I WON’T FORGIVE YOU!!!
Kylier: You’re the one coming near US!
Rosary: Milanor, do something!
Milanor: It’s all YOUR fault this happened!
Kylier: That sound… don’t tell me…!
Milanor: Another card is going off! Why?!
Nietzsche: Nietzsche doesn’t know!
Rosary: This power… It’s Lord Dummy’s favorite, the Necromancer Nelda’s…
Yggdra: Uwah?! My body-!
Nietzsche: Eeeek!
Rosary: My god…
Kylier: The princess…
Milanor: Yggdra is…!
Milanor, Kylier, Rosary, Nietzsche: She turned into a Skeleton!
Yggdra: Kekekekekekekeke!
Milanor, Kylier, Rosary, Nietzsche: Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Yggdra: Kekekekekekeke! Kekekekekekekeke!
Nietzsche: Noooooooooo! The princess is all bony and scary!!!!
Rosary: Save me!!!!!!!
Kylier: Milanor, do something!
Milanor: This is all your guys’ fault!
Yggdra: Kekekekekeke!
Roswell: Hmph. How do you like that, Milanor? It seems you like my especial gift of Necro Gate. As I thought, rather than an Undine, better that she become an even-less-clothed Skeleton. Heheheh… Ahahahahahaha!
Milanor: Don’t just laugh!
Roswell: Ow!
Narrator: And thus, night deepens on Milanor’s thieves… Hang in there, Milanor’s thief band! Until you can bring a day of freedom to the continent…!
Kylier: I feel sorry for the princess, but… At least this way she won’t be giving Milanor a nosebleed!
Yggdra: Kekekekekekekekeke!
Kylier: Uwaaaaaaaaaahhh!