How not to write email
Was in a mood at work, and getting an email about after-work shenanigans, just went a bit nuts - here is the result:
Original email:
Love idea of dinner. i'll be a rebel and suggest maybe something not chinese. could go something similar, maybe asian but sub-continental? thai perhaps? or indian? as i say this the notion of a truly aussie pub meal creeps into my preferences. feck it. you know i'll eat anything put infront of me, and then some more not infront of me, and then some stuff i would have to inconveniently reach for, and from the floor, and other peoples tables, and the bin, and from the dump, and maybe burried in soft peat for three months, and recycled as firelighters. so whatever is good for me.
Conrad who wonders what this email would look like with no punctuation at all let alone the minimal he has given it so far.
No punctuation version:
love idea of dinner ill be a rebel and suggest maybe something not chinese could go something similar maybe asian but subcontinental thai perhaps or indian as i say this the notion of a truly aussie pub meal creeps into my preferences feck it you know ill eat anything put infront of me and then some more not infront of me and then some stuff i would have to inconveniently reach for and from the floor and other peoples tables and the bin and from the dump and maybe burried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. so whatever is good for me
conrad who wonders what this email would look like with no punctuation at all let alone the minimal he has given it so far then wonders what it would look like with all the words run together
no space version of the no punctuation version:
loveideaofdinnerillbearebelandsuggestmaybesomethingnotchinesecouldgosomethingsimilarmaybeasianbutsubcontinentalthaiperhapsorindianasisaythisthenotionofatrulyaussiepubmealcreepsintomypreferencesfeckityouknowilleatanythingputinfrontofmeandthensomemorenotinfrontofmeandthensomestuffiwouldhavetoinconvenientlyreachforandfromthefloorandotherpeoplestablesandthebinandfromthedumpandmaybeburriedinsoftpeatforthreemonthsandrecycledasfirelighters.sowhateverisgoodformeconradwhowonderswhatthisemailwouldlooklikewithnopunctuationatallletalonetheminimalhehasgivenitsofarthenwonderswhatitwouldlooklikewithallthewordsruntogetherthenwonderswhatitwouldlooklikewithemailformattingtruncatedto60characterlines
standard email truncated version of the no space or punctuation version:
loveideaofdinnerillbearebelandsuggestmaybesomethingnotchine
secouldgosomethingsimilarmaybeasianbutsubcontinentalthaiper
hapsorindianasisaythisthenotionofatrulyaussiepubmealcreepsi
ntomypreferencesfeckityouknowilleatanythingputinfrontofmean
dthensomemorenotinfrontofmeandthensomestuffiwouldhavetoinco
nvenientlyreachforandfromthefloorandotherpeoplestablesandth
ebinandfromthedumpandmaybeburriedinsoftpeatforthreemonthsan
drecycledasfirelighters.sowhateverisgoodformeconradwhowonde
rswhatthisemailwouldlooklikewithnopunctuationatallletalonet
heminimalhehasgivenitsofarthenwonderswhatitwouldlooklikewit
hallthewordsruntogetherthenwonderswhatitwouldlooklikewithem
ailformattingtruncatedto60characterlinesthenwonderswhatitwo
uldlooklikeindutch
Dutch version of the no space or punctuation email truncated version:
ideevandeliefdevandinerzalikeenrebelzijnenzalvoorstellenmis
schiennietchineeskonietsgelijkaardigiets,misschienaziaatmaa
rsubcontinentaalgaanthaimisschienofindiërzoalsikzegdithetbe
gripvaneenechtaussiepubmaaltijdkruipeninmijnvoorkeurfeckhet
uhetweetzalikomhetevenwatgezetinfrontvanmeendanwatmeernieti
nfrontvanmeendanwatmateriaaletenikongelegenvoorenvandevloer
enanderevolkerenlijstenenbakenvandestortplaatszoumoetenbere
ikenenmisschieninzachteturfdriemaandenburriedenalsfirelight
ersrecycleerdezowaterookvoormegoedisconraddatbenieuwdiswatd
ezeemailalszonderpunctuatieallenlaatstaanminimaalhijzoubeki
jkenhetzoveeltoenheeftgegeveniswatbenieuwdhetalsmetallesame
ninwerkinggesteldewoordenzoukijkendaniswatbenieuwdhetalsmet
hetemailformatterenbeknotaan60karakterlijnendanzoukijkenisw
atbenieuwdhetalsinhetnederlandszoukijkennuwathetalsachterui
tkijkt
Backwards version of the dutch nospace and no punctuation email truncated version:
molategrianibnitaduntezkjiktiurethcaslatehtawunnekjikuozsdn
alredentehnislatehdwueinebtawsinekjikuoznadnenjilretkarak06
naatonkebnerettamrofliametehtemslatehdwueinebtawsinadnekjik
uoznedroowedletseggnikrewninemasellatemslatehdwueinebtawsin
evegegtfeehneotleevoztehnekjikebuozjihlaaminimnaatstaalnell
aeitautcnuprednozslaliameezedtawsidwueinebtaddarnocsideogem
roovkooretawozedreelcycersrethgilerifslanedeirrubnednaameir
dfrutethcaznineihcssimnenekierebneteomuozstaalptrotsednavne
kabnenetsjilnerekloverednanereolvednavneroovnegelegnokinete
laairetamtawnadneemnavtnorfniteinreemtawnadneemnavtnorfnite
zegtawnevetehmokilazteewtehutehkcefruekroovnjimninepiurkdji
tlaambupeissuathceneenavpirgebtehtidgezkislaozrëidnifoneihc
ssimiahtnaaglaatnenitnocbusraamtaaizaneihcssim,steigidraakj
ilegsteinokseenihcteinneihcssimnelletsroovlaznenjizlebernee
kilazrenidnavedfeilednaveedi
Binary conversion of the backwards dutch nospace and no punctuation email truncated version:
01101101011011110110110001100001011101000110010101100111011
10010011010010110000101101110011010010110001001101110011010
01011101000110000101100100011101010110111001110100011001010
11110100110101101101010011010010110101101110100011010010111
01010111001001100101011101000110100001100011011000010111001
10110110001100001011101000110010101101000011101000110000101
11011101110101011011100110111001100101011010110110101001101
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00110000101110100011001010110100001100100011101110111010101
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11001010110011101100111011011100110100101101011011100100110
01010111011101101110011010010110111001100101011011010110000
10111001101100101011011000110110001100001011101000110010101
10110101110011011011000110000101110100011001010110100001100
10001110111011101010110010101101001011011100110010101100010
01110100011000010111011101110011011010010110111000001101000
01010011001010111011001100101011001110110010101100111011101
00011001100110010101100101011010000110111001100101011011110
11101000110110001100101011001010111011001101111011110100111
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10110101101100101011000100111010101101111011110100110101001
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11001101001011011010110111001100001011000010111010001110011
01110100011000010110000101101100011011100110010101101100011
01100000011010000101001100001011001010110100101110100011000
01011101010111010001100011011011100111010101110000011100100
11001010110010001101110011011110111101001110011011011000110
00010110110001101001011000010110110101100101011001010111101
00110010101100100011101000110000101110111011100110110100101
10010001110111011101010110010101101001011011100110010101100
01001110100011000010110010001100100011000010111001001101110
01101111011000110111001101101001011001000110010101101111011
00111011001010110110100001101000010100111001001101111011011
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01010110010101101100011000110111100101100011011001010111001
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00101101110011001010110010001100101011010010111001001110010
01110101011000100110111001100101011001000110111001100001011
00001011011010110010101101001011100100000110100001010011001
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11000110110000101111010011011100110100101101110011001010110
10010110100001100011011100110111001101101001011011010110111
00110010101101110011001010110101101101001011001010111001001
10010101100010011011100110010101110100011001010110111101101
10101110101011011110111101001110011011101000110000101100001
01101100011100000111010001110010011011110111010001110011011
00101011001000110111001100001011101100110111001100101000011
01000010100110101101100001011000100110111001100101011011100
11001010111010001110011011010100110100101101100011011100110
01010111001001100101011010110110110001101111011101100110010
10111001001100101011001000110111001100001011011100110010101
11001001100101011011110110110001110110011001010110010001101
11001100001011101100110111001100101011100100110111101101111
01110110011011100110010101100111011001010110110001100101011
00111011011100110111101101011011010010110111001100101011101
00011001010000110100001010011011000110000101100001011010010
11100100110010101110100011000010110110101110100011000010111
01110110111001100001011001000110111001100101011001010110110
10110111001100001011101100111010001101110011011110111001001
10011001101110011010010111010001100101011010010110111001110
01001100101011001010110110101110100011000010111011101101110
01100001011001000110111001100101011001010110110101101110011
00001011101100111010001101110011011110111001001100110011011
10011010010111010001100101000011010000101001111010011001010
11001110111010001100001011101110110111001100101011101100110
01010111010001100101011010000110110101101111011010110110100
10110110001100001011110100111010001100101011001010111011101
11010001100101011010000111010101110100011001010110100001101
01101100011011001010110011001110010011101010110010101101011
01110010011011110110111101110110011011100110101001101001011
01101011011100110100101101110011001010111000001101001011101
01011100100110101101100100011010100110100100001101000010100
11101000110110001100001011000010110110101100010011101010111
00000110010101101001011100110111001101110101011000010111010
00110100001100011011001010110111001100101011001010110111001
10000101110110011100000110100101110010011001110110010101100
01001110100011001010110100001110100011010010110010001100111
01100101011110100110101101101001011100110110110001100001011
01111011110100111001011101011011010010110010001101110011010
01011001100110111101101110011001010110100101101000011000110
00011010000101001110011011100110110100101101101011010010110
00010110100001110100011011100110000101100001011001110110110
00110000101100001011101000110111001100101011011100110100101
11010001101110011011110110001101100010011101010111001101110
01001100001011000010110110101110100011000010110000101101001
01111010011000010110111001100101011010010110100001100011011
10011011100110110100101101101001011000111001101110100011001
01011010010110011101101001011001000111001001100001011000010
11010110110101000001101000010100110100101101100011001010110
01110111001101110100011001010110100101101110011011110110101
10111001101100101011001010110111001101001011010000110001101
11010001100101011010010110111001101110011001010110100101101
00001100011011100110111001101101001011011010110111001100101
01101100011011000110010101110100011100110111001001101111011
01111011101100110110001100001011110100110111001100101011011
10011010100110100101111010011011000110010101100010011001010
11100100110111001100101011001010000110100001010011010110110
10010110110001100001011110100111001001100101011011100110100
10110010001101110011000010111011001100101011001000110011001
10010101101001011011000110010101100100011011100110000101110
11001100101011001010110010001101001
....and this is an anlogy of how security works. Took me maybe quite a while with help from internet programs - something a specifically designed program with the right materials can do in less than a second.
Facinating.
Original email:
Love idea of dinner. i'll be a rebel and suggest maybe something not chinese. could go something similar, maybe asian but sub-continental? thai perhaps? or indian? as i say this the notion of a truly aussie pub meal creeps into my preferences. feck it. you know i'll eat anything put infront of me, and then some more not infront of me, and then some stuff i would have to inconveniently reach for, and from the floor, and other peoples tables, and the bin, and from the dump, and maybe burried in soft peat for three months, and recycled as firelighters. so whatever is good for me.
Conrad who wonders what this email would look like with no punctuation at all let alone the minimal he has given it so far.
No punctuation version:
love idea of dinner ill be a rebel and suggest maybe something not chinese could go something similar maybe asian but subcontinental thai perhaps or indian as i say this the notion of a truly aussie pub meal creeps into my preferences feck it you know ill eat anything put infront of me and then some more not infront of me and then some stuff i would have to inconveniently reach for and from the floor and other peoples tables and the bin and from the dump and maybe burried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. so whatever is good for me
conrad who wonders what this email would look like with no punctuation at all let alone the minimal he has given it so far then wonders what it would look like with all the words run together
no space version of the no punctuation version:
loveideaofdinnerillbearebelandsuggestmaybesomethingnotchinesecouldgosomethingsimilarmaybeasianbutsubcontinentalthaiperhapsorindianasisaythisthenotionofatrulyaussiepubmealcreepsintomypreferencesfeckityouknowilleatanythingputinfrontofmeandthensomemorenotinfrontofmeandthensomestuffiwouldhavetoinconvenientlyreachforandfromthefloorandotherpeoplestablesandthebinandfromthedumpandmaybeburriedinsoftpeatforthreemonthsandrecycledasfirelighters.sowhateverisgoodformeconradwhowonderswhatthisemailwouldlooklikewithnopunctuationatallletalonetheminimalhehasgivenitsofarthenwonderswhatitwouldlooklikewithallthewordsruntogetherthenwonderswhatitwouldlooklikewithemailformattingtruncatedto60characterlines
standard email truncated version of the no space or punctuation version:
loveideaofdinnerillbearebelandsuggestmaybesomethingnotchine
secouldgosomethingsimilarmaybeasianbutsubcontinentalthaiper
hapsorindianasisaythisthenotionofatrulyaussiepubmealcreepsi
ntomypreferencesfeckityouknowilleatanythingputinfrontofmean
dthensomemorenotinfrontofmeandthensomestuffiwouldhavetoinco
nvenientlyreachforandfromthefloorandotherpeoplestablesandth
ebinandfromthedumpandmaybeburriedinsoftpeatforthreemonthsan
drecycledasfirelighters.sowhateverisgoodformeconradwhowonde
rswhatthisemailwouldlooklikewithnopunctuationatallletalonet
heminimalhehasgivenitsofarthenwonderswhatitwouldlooklikewit
hallthewordsruntogetherthenwonderswhatitwouldlooklikewithem
ailformattingtruncatedto60characterlinesthenwonderswhatitwo
uldlooklikeindutch
Dutch version of the no space or punctuation email truncated version:
ideevandeliefdevandinerzalikeenrebelzijnenzalvoorstellenmis
schiennietchineeskonietsgelijkaardigiets,misschienaziaatmaa
rsubcontinentaalgaanthaimisschienofindiërzoalsikzegdithetbe
gripvaneenechtaussiepubmaaltijdkruipeninmijnvoorkeurfeckhet
uhetweetzalikomhetevenwatgezetinfrontvanmeendanwatmeernieti
nfrontvanmeendanwatmateriaaletenikongelegenvoorenvandevloer
enanderevolkerenlijstenenbakenvandestortplaatszoumoetenbere
ikenenmisschieninzachteturfdriemaandenburriedenalsfirelight
ersrecycleerdezowaterookvoormegoedisconraddatbenieuwdiswatd
ezeemailalszonderpunctuatieallenlaatstaanminimaalhijzoubeki
jkenhetzoveeltoenheeftgegeveniswatbenieuwdhetalsmetallesame
ninwerkinggesteldewoordenzoukijkendaniswatbenieuwdhetalsmet
hetemailformatterenbeknotaan60karakterlijnendanzoukijkenisw
atbenieuwdhetalsinhetnederlandszoukijkennuwathetalsachterui
tkijkt
Backwards version of the dutch nospace and no punctuation email truncated version:
molategrianibnitaduntezkjiktiurethcaslatehtawunnekjikuozsdn
alredentehnislatehdwueinebtawsinekjikuoznadnenjilretkarak06
naatonkebnerettamrofliametehtemslatehdwueinebtawsinadnekjik
uoznedroowedletseggnikrewninemasellatemslatehdwueinebtawsin
evegegtfeehneotleevoztehnekjikebuozjihlaaminimnaatstaalnell
aeitautcnuprednozslaliameezedtawsidwueinebtaddarnocsideogem
roovkooretawozedreelcycersrethgilerifslanedeirrubnednaameir
dfrutethcaznineihcssimnenekierebneteomuozstaalptrotsednavne
kabnenetsjilnerekloverednanereolvednavneroovnegelegnokinete
laairetamtawnadneemnavtnorfniteinreemtawnadneemnavtnorfnite
zegtawnevetehmokilazteewtehutehkcefruekroovnjimninepiurkdji
tlaambupeissuathceneenavpirgebtehtidgezkislaozrëidnifoneihc
ssimiahtnaaglaatnenitnocbusraamtaaizaneihcssim,steigidraakj
ilegsteinokseenihcteinneihcssimnelletsroovlaznenjizlebernee
kilazrenidnavedfeilednaveedi
Binary conversion of the backwards dutch nospace and no punctuation email truncated version:
01101101011011110110110001100001011101000110010101100111011
10010011010010110000101101110011010010110001001101110011010
01011101000110000101100100011101010110111001110100011001010
11110100110101101101010011010010110101101110100011010010111
01010111001001100101011101000110100001100011011000010111001
10110110001100001011101000110010101101000011101000110000101
11011101110101011011100110111001100101011010110110101001101
00101101011011101010110111101111010011100110110010001101110
00001101000010100110000101101100011100100110010101100100011
00101011011100111010001100101011010000110111001101001011100
11011011000110000101110100011001010110100001100100011101110
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10010001101110011001010110111001101010011010010110110001110
01001100101011101000110101101100001011100100110000101101011
00110000001101100000110100001010011011100110000101100001011
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01000110010101101000011101000110010101101101011100110110110
00110000101110100011001010110100001100100011101110111010101
10010101101001011011100110010101100010011101000110000101110
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11001101001011011010110111001100001011000010111010001110011
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01100000011010000101001100001011001010110100101110100011000
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11001010110010001101110011011110111101001110011011011000110
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10010101100010011011100110010101110100011001010110111101101
10101110101011011110111101001110011011101000110000101100001
01101100011100000111010001110010011011110111010001110011011
00101011001000110111001100001011101100110111001100101000011
01000010100110101101100001011000100110111001100101011011100
11001010111010001110011011010100110100101101100011011100110
01010111001001100101011010110110110001101111011101100110010
10111001001100101011001000110111001100001011011100110010101
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11001100001011101100110111001100101011100100110111101101111
01110110011011100110010101100111011001010110110001100101011
00111011011100110111101101011011010010110111001100101011101
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11100100110010101110100011000010110110101110100011000010111
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10110111001100001011101100111010001101110011011110111001001
10011001101110011010010111010001100101011010010110111001110
01001100101011001010110110101110100011000010111011101101110
01100001011001000110111001100101011001010110110101101110011
00001011101100111010001101110011011110111001001100110011011
10011010010111010001100101000011010000101001111010011001010
11001110111010001100001011101110110111001100101011101100110
01010111010001100101011010000110110101101111011010110110100
10110110001100001011110100111010001100101011001010111011101
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01101011011100110100101101110011001010111000001101001011101
01011100100110101101100100011010100110100100001101000010100
11101000110110001100001011000010110110101100010011101010111
00000110010101101001011100110111001101110101011000010111010
00110100001100011011001010110111001100101011001010110111001
10000101110110011100000110100101110010011001110110010101100
01001110100011001010110100001110100011010010110010001100111
01100101011110100110101101101001011100110110110001100001011
01111011110100111001011101011011010010110010001101110011010
01011001100110111101101110011001010110100101101000011000110
00011010000101001110011011100110110100101101101011010010110
00010110100001110100011011100110000101100001011001110110110
00110000101100001011101000110111001100101011011100110100101
11010001101110011011110110001101100010011101010111001101110
01001100001011000010110110101110100011000010110000101101001
01111010011000010110111001100101011010010110100001100011011
10011011100110110100101101101001011000111001101110100011001
01011010010110011101101001011001000111001001100001011000010
11010110110101000001101000010100110100101101100011001010110
01110111001101110100011001010110100101101110011011110110101
10111001101100101011001010110111001101001011010000110001101
11010001100101011010010110111001101110011001010110100101101
00001100011011100110111001101101001011011010110111001100101
01101100011011000110010101110100011100110111001001101111011
01111011101100110110001100001011110100110111001100101011011
10011010100110100101111010011011000110010101100010011001010
11100100110111001100101011001010000110100001010011010110110
10010110110001100001011110100111001001100101011011100110100
10110010001101110011000010111011001100101011001000110011001
10010101101001011011000110010101100100011011100110000101110
11001100101011001010110010001101001
....and this is an anlogy of how security works. Took me maybe quite a while with help from internet programs - something a specifically designed program with the right materials can do in less than a second.
Facinating.