-> You may tire of me, as our December sun is setting and I'm not who i useto be
well, its finally over with. Kevin and I are through, and as much as I should be sad about this I'm not so sad as much as I am angry. He's lied to me about pretty much everything in the past 2 months. Starting with Francesca and it just continued from there in a constant downward spiral. He made me think that he wanted me still and that he missed me. He made me believe that he loved me and then when I bring up the fact that this is what he said to me he denied it. On Sunday he came over to my house after work and we uhh....well, I'll spare you the gory details. anyway...he came over and everything was just like it useto be. He told me he still liked me, and that part of him still wanted to be with me. He told me that he missed me and thought about me. This made me somewhat happy in that it showed that he still was thinking about us and how well we worked together, and that maybe I hadn't just wasted the past 13 months of my life. we had a really nice night together and it just made everything right. the next day I had my centennial interview (which seems to have faded into the background because my life is fucking hectic.) after my interview I called him thinking that maybe we could make plans seen as it was too late to go to school. he gave me simple "no". No reason, no excuse, this fucking drives me insane, absolutely insane. So, This made me angry, and I kept asking why he didn't want me coming over...a simple I'm not dressed, or I have lots to do would sufice but no...that just wasn't possible. So, he hangs up on me, making me even more angry. When I get home no one asks me how my interview went, big surprise there. I call him again and he answers, he continues to tell me that he doesn't want to be with me and he just doesn't want anything to do with me in general. I cried. I was so fucking confused...needless to say. We continue to argue. I say that you just don't wake up and say "oh, I don't think I want to be with her today." It just doesn't work like that. Unless of course you're bipolar...which I suposse is a possiblity. Anyway, so it just kept on like this, then he said that no one in his family ever liked me, this is dispite my most curtious efforts. Apparently they were very happy when he told them that we split. Also, he said that they never liked me, not from the moment they first met me. Fucking prejudice bastards! They didn't even fucking know me. He also informed me that he was only with me the entire 13 months because of the sex...which later turned out to be false. So, after what was a crazy afternoon, he picked me up from night school and we traded truths.
Kevin's truths. (and I quote)
1)I only stayed with you because of the physical benefit you brought to the relationship.
2) dating you was a real pain in the ass because you were so manipulative into getting your way.
3)I never said anything because of my mentality of "put up and shut up"
4)I'm not sure myself why i stayed with so long.
5)I'm breaking up with you because I can no longer take this form of abuse, i have to move on.
6)my whole family is very happy for me because they knew what you were like and how damaging it was to me.
7) i spent money on you and bought you things only so you could shut up for a little while
8) i know your heart is in many different places and i know im not your only love interest
9) i have never once cheated on you or ever thought about cheating on you
10) Me and Francesca are really good friends and i wish we could be more but its a two way street
11) everytime you brought up doing something with someone else (laurence, marchall, god knows who else) really hurt
12) i let you have your way and drove you everywhere for way too long, and now im done with that.
13) im very happy that i no longer have to deal with you and your family
14) now i could care less what you do or who you do in your life
15) i never loved you i only said it to shut up you, i dont even think you know what love is
15 isn't true...or at least he said it isn't. This is after we both said that what we wrote was to be completely true. Also..notice lack of punctuation and misspelling ie. marchall...haha.
After lunch today I went to his house to drop off my reply to his truths and to retrieve the hat my dad had sent from Italy. While there I slapped him for speaking rudely of my mother and that gave him a bloody nose. I know I shouldn't have done it, but he fucking deserved it. Then after threating to hit me, and me giving him tons of chances. He told me that I wasn't getting my ride to my riding lessons. I left but before I left I called him a lying cheating asshole...I think his stepdad heard me. haha. Oh, I also told him that his parents need to know that god isn't everything, and he told me that I had no tolerance for religion. When I mentioned my mother went to a protestant school he laughed and said "haha, prostestant, what a joke of a religion...haha." what a fucking hypocrite. Now, after reading all this and remembering the shit we went through together...let's not forget...i was ALWAYS there for him. constantly, whenever he needed me. i was there...Who wants to help Lucy come up with a good revenge? remember when I told Mike I was pregnant?
jeez, i think i really did waste the past 13 months of my life.
I have my truths as well, along with my reply to his...maybe I'll post them...
<3