post number seventeen
today is raining. it began last night and will continue maybe until tomorrow. during rainy weather i like to have hot tea on my balcony covered in a blanket and listen to the drops of water covering everything in sight. i love the smell of the water on the earth. my favorite thing about rainy days is that since we can not see the sun, the entire day seems timeless to me. i cant tell if its nine in the morning or three in the afternoon.
so work is not too bad. although i am taking my time. i can heat the water on the window next to my desk and i yern to be home. i think about what oryx is doing and the birds, oh yeah RC finally decided to name them. he has two females and one male in one cage. one grey female likes him, actually she is the only one of the three, he calls her "favorite". the other female is named mistress and the male is dog. RC made me laugh soo much when he came up with those names.
i was thinking about a book RC and i read over at the book store the other night, it was a compilation of secrets random people sent in to this author. some of those secrets were quite funny, others were very sad. they ranged from secret affairs to abortions and horrid experiences people had endured. i was thinking about secrets i hold tightly to and wondered how many other girls just like me have made similar mistakes that are now secrets that we wish could disappear. sometimes i hate how i clearly i can remember those secret things i have done, yet things i would like to remember like my fifth birthday and memories of my father (who is still alive, somewhere) when he was still important. anywho........how many secrets can one contain to oneself before the gates break open and we flood the floors with things we have said, done and seen??? oh woe is me the day my gate breaks and my secrets leave the security of my heart. i hope to never live to see that day, for it would be my last. wow, im inspired. must be the rain, in my head that never stops.