(no subject)
Been thinking a lot.
I've also begun to believe that sometimes i just shouldn't think about things. It always gets to me when i do and i start thinking about all the things that i hate in my life.
I feel alone. I feel like i'm not good enough. I don't know why but i can't help it. Trying to ignore everything makes things worse.
Chad's moving in with my brother. Definatly he said. Fine. He says Chris doesn't influence him, and if he turns into a heathen it's under his own free will. Well he is influenced. By everything. He just doesn't realize it.
I wouldn't care if i knew that Chad would still be strong and serve God & things....but i feel like hes running. Away from God & away from me. All i do is try to lead him in the right direction. I can't help it...I want him to do the right things. I don't want him to end up hurt or anything like that. I know God is doing something here. Waiting. Anything. Or maybe i just HOPE that He's doing something. I don't know anymore...i really don't. Everyone wants me to be happy. They tell me to be happy.....I guess they don't see that THAT is something i want the very most right now. To be happy again.
I've also begun to believe that sometimes i just shouldn't think about things. It always gets to me when i do and i start thinking about all the things that i hate in my life.
I feel alone. I feel like i'm not good enough. I don't know why but i can't help it. Trying to ignore everything makes things worse.
Chad's moving in with my brother. Definatly he said. Fine. He says Chris doesn't influence him, and if he turns into a heathen it's under his own free will. Well he is influenced. By everything. He just doesn't realize it.
I wouldn't care if i knew that Chad would still be strong and serve God & things....but i feel like hes running. Away from God & away from me. All i do is try to lead him in the right direction. I can't help it...I want him to do the right things. I don't want him to end up hurt or anything like that. I know God is doing something here. Waiting. Anything. Or maybe i just HOPE that He's doing something. I don't know anymore...i really don't. Everyone wants me to be happy. They tell me to be happy.....I guess they don't see that THAT is something i want the very most right now. To be happy again.