Not funny... cause it's true...
Self-destruction
Which Life Stage Are You?
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I haven't updated in my journal in an awful long time, and it's not because I haven't had anything to say... It's kind of laziness with a tad of insecurity dropped in. Too many people judge me for the shit I feel and sometimes I'm not in the mood to just show all that to anyone.
It really feels kind of good to be writing again. I'd forgotten how sadly therapeutic this stupid thing could be. Maybe I'll be back on a regular basis. Oh well...
Old News: For anyone that didn't know, I AM back with my parents for the moment, but I quit school the other week (I got skipped to year 11 so decided to take the year off) so I'm working full time, so I can start to pay rent.
I need to get out of this house. My mother doesn't even make eye contact with me anymore. I can't stand to look at her, she makes me sick. I made her cry last night. I felt almost guilty. At least she should know what its felt like all these years. TO have lies about you pushed in your face. I wish I was big enough to put all the physical abuse back on her too. I've decided I can't die until she does. My next suicide attempt will be with her included. The angrier and the sadder she makes me, the closer we both come to the end.
But through all the seas of crap... IT's nice to have someone who wants to show that they care. Not many people do that to me. Thank you Rick.