mark
well biznatches, as you may have noticed, i like STOPPED updating. well why make you ask? dunno actually. maybe because mark was on the brain. he's just so gosh darn beautiful and he lives in north caro. THAT'S WHAT GETTING TO ME. the fact that he's out there. and not close to me where i can watch him. yes that sounds sorta psychopath-ish but i like to have people in my reach so i can watch over them. but i miss mark... a lot. he's so wonderful. i mean, he's like out of my league, but he's just... i don't know... different. well no, he's like every other boy but he's got this element of suprise to him. gosh, i wish things between us weren't so complicated. you know? i wish they were simple. i wish we were a couple. i don't know what to think. i mean he tells me NOW (well actually yesterday) on the phone that he did care about me but now he doesn't because he lives in north caro and there are a whole bunch of other girls around. BUT WHAT'S REALLY DRIVING ME CRAZY, is the fact that he knew i liked him, and he wouldn't say anything. it's boys like him that make me wanna to kill off the whole male species. what jack-a's, i swear. gosh, if mark moves back here, we're gonna have to go through therapy together. or at least i will. sorry if that sounded so mushed together but it all just came out and i needed to type it. anyways, i've been sick. mark said i hope you feel better and that he wishes he could be there to feed my soup. which i thought was sweet, but then he said a girl was coming over, so i was like pissed and my day was even more ruined. i didn't go to orientation for chesnut, my new school because of the fact i am sick. i threw up today so my mom was like "that a no no." gosh, i just need to think about things. mainly mark. but other things as well. will update soon. sydney