(no subject)
lately, my stress levels have been going up, but something in me insists on suppressing them. and this means i get some pretty nasty headaches. today i spent about half an hour just drawing shit. nothing fancy. nothing creative. i tried to do a self-portrait but i just got lazy and quit. i wish i kept drawing more often through middle school and through high school. i think that's something i regret. i always wanted to take art classes, but i never had the room for it. and when it was senior year, i didn't want to be stuck in art classes with immature underclassmen. oh well. a part of me wants to take an art course next semester, or some kind of dance class, just for the hell of it. except knowing me, i'm too scared to step out of my comfort zone and try something new. it's probably one of my greatest weaknesses, which is probably why i haven't really met anyone here that i've become good friends with. eh, oh well. i can't say that i really know anyone on my floor (besides the obvious). they've already established their friendships, etc. so i guess this semester isn't really a chance to start over, except academically. seriously, hearing the lecture in journalism has freaked me out. i'm sitting at a 3.09 GPA right now, and i can't let it drop any lower. i am determined to try my hardest, but even this afternoon -- what did i spend my time doing? drawing. doing mindless things on the internet. i am horrible at managing my free time. i could've been practicing my violin tonight. i need to practice. ugh, everything i used to be good at is slipping away from me. what the hell happened?